Free Course: Eliminate Your Inner “Nice Guy” and Pass Girl’s Secret Tests

4 quotes from a book that could change your life

Men this century are not as motivated as their fathers and grandfathers were

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There’s been a trend recently of boys who continue to act like boys well into adulthood. Author and psychologist Leonard Sax put forth a few theories as to why in a book, Boys Adrift, that has some insights for almost any guy age 35 or younger.

Here are a few quotes that describe some of the main themes:

1. Lack of rites of passage

“Manhood isn’t something that simply happens to boys as they get older. It’s an achievement—something a boy accomplishes, something that can easily go awry. If we ignore the importance of this transition, and fail in our duty as parents to guide boys through it, then we will learn the hard way why traditional cultures invest this transition with so much importance.”

It’s easier than ever to avoid being in the Boy Scouts, or serving in the military, going to college, or any number of other ventures that could potentially bridge boyhood and manhood.

2. Not as many reliable systems in place

“If we fail to provide boys with pro-social models of the transition to adulthood, they may construct their own. In some cases, gang initiation rituals, street racing, and random violence may be the result.”

Or, you know, turn to the PUA community where they get advice mostly ranging from questionable (at best) to destructive (at worst).

3. Too much time spent playing video games

“The destructive effects of video games are not on boys’ cognitive abilities or their reaction times, but on their motivation and their connectedness with the real world.”

It’s easier to overcome obstacles when it’s actually a video game character enduring the trials and tribulations.

4. Football is a lot easier when you’re playing Madden

“More kids are finding real sports too demanding.”

It’s also easier to play four quarters while sprinting up and down the field when it’s not you who’s doing it.

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About Jordan Murray Jordan is a journalist who has written extensively about dating and lifestyle for multiple publications.

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