Will You Always Be A Single Man?
The question is one that is seldom asked by young single men. We are not as anxious about our relationship status as our sisters of the fairer sex—though hook-up culture is starting to change this a bit. It is, however, one that you should ask if you have finished undergrad and are now a working professional.
Indeed, asking the question does not indicate a desire for a committed relationship. It suggests only a readiness to examine yourself and to discern the needs, desires, and attributes that have kept you single.
You may be a man who is constitutionally unsuited for marriage or monogamy of any kind. You like things a certain way. You enjoy returning to the peace and quiet of your home at night, having a drink, turning on the television, and going for a drink with friends. You may have a hobby that you are exceptionally keen to pursue. Swimming, running, cycling, or climbing may be an activity that consumes your weekends and holidays. Although you may have dated many women you met while pursuing such interests, you are unable to settle on any one of them in particular.
The latter can have much to do with your desire for a constant change of face, body, and personality. The power of the male libido is not a popular topic in polite society. We are encouraged, through a variety of media and messages, to settle down, to build a home and establish stability. The entire purpose of dating, we are told, is to find our soul mate—the one woman who will make us happy.
You, however, may feel the need to defy such expectations. Doing so is easier than it has ever been. Online dating sites have been superseded by mobile dating apps such as Tinder. Clubbing and arbitrary get-togethers with other singles are now supplemented by an entire sub-culture dedicated to celebrating the joys of Single-dom. In other words, as a single man you now have more access to single women, more ways and means of meeting them, and a greater support system for hooking up with them than ever before.
Then there is your material status. As a man with some money and success, you may like the idea of being free to travel and experience the world as you please. To your mind different locations require different kinds of companions. One girl may be right for Paris, while another is perfect for Rome. As you grow older, you may prefer to travel alone and find female companionship along the way.
Answering the question at the beginning of this article is a great way to assess yourself. It will help you better understand your character and the inclinations of your heart and soul. It may be the case that you will always be a single man. If that is so, you must make the most of it.
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.