4 clever online dating messaging tips to keep in mind

Have room to improve your messaging? Keep these tips in mind

stop using dating apps

1. Use non-text ways to start the interaction

According to this article in Bustle:

According to the survey, 49 percent of Happn users take advantage of the ‘Charms’ feature. Essentially, it’s like a poke or nudge to show interest in someone if you have yet to match. When you come across someone you’re into, you can click the little magic wand icon, which sends the user a push notification letting them know you’ve sent a Charm, then they’re free to like you back in order to open a chat between the two of you. It’s kind of like the superlike on Tinder — both features allow you to express ‘extra’ interest in someone you want to chat with.

2. It’s easy to stand out with a little effort

According to this article in Thrillist:

For the sake of my work, I’ve had to try out literally hundreds of dating sites and apps. I’ve even had to attempt dating across apps that are definitely not intended for dating (sorry, Yelp!). Sometimes, it works out surprisingly well. Other times, it makes me want to repeatedly bash my head against a wall. I become irrationally excited when people send me their online-dating messages and date stories. Some individuals are just unbelievably talented when it comes to messaging. Here’s an example of an emoji- and food pun-savvy friend of mine moving from Tinder to texting to meet-up to follow-up without missing a beat.

3. Your race might affect the results you get

According to this article in the Washington Post:

It was around then that he saw OkCupid’s data on race and attraction. Compared with black, white and Latino men, Asian men receive fewer matches and messages from women on the dating site.

That’s not to say online dating can’t work for Asian men. It just means they often find themselves making an effort to improve their chances.

Montecillo ended up including his ethnicity on his profile, but he removed it after an exhausting period where he received a response about once in every eight or nine messages. He asked himself: ‘Would people notice [me] if I was a large bearded white guy who likes hiking? I don’t know. It’s just one of those things where … you can’t help but wonder sometimes.’

4. Add a little personalization

According to this Huffington Post article, which talks about how online dating messaging translates to business:

Sure, if you have an active profile on an online dating app, you’re probably looking to go on a date. But you’re unlikely to do so with the person who sends a generic note like, “Hey, you’re hot, let’s get drinks.” Yikes!The same goes for online marketing. Sending out generic emails to your entire audience advertising a new product, for example, does a huge disservice to your business. Every business has different needs and will have different reasons for using your product. Company A may use it to reduce overhead costs, Company B may choose it because of your company’s industry expertise, and Company C may already be a customer so using another product within your ecosystem just makes sense.Case in point: MailChimp scanned their system for users who employed a list segmentation tool in email marketing. They found that list segmentation resulted in 14.45% higher open rates and an epic 63.71% more clicks than non-segmented campaigns.


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About Jordan Murray Jordan is a journalist who has written extensively about dating and lifestyle for multiple publications.

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