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What she thinks the first kiss will tell her

                                                           

Understanding the first smooch from her point of view

Much is at stake with your first kiss. You may think it an opening to a series of events that will lead you into her panties. But from her perspective, it is one factor in a complex calculus that will help her decide how far to go with you.

What you cannot control

There is no changing the way you kiss—at least not significantly.

The movements and gestures you developed in those first nerve-racking kisses stolen between classes in high school, in the back seat of cars, and in empty rooms during weekend parties are essentially the same. The power you exert and the comfort you feel as you kiss are the only things that have changed.

It is impossible to feign a different way of kissing. You will be uncomfortable doing so, will likely make some ridiculous error such as bite her lip or tongue, and lose all hope of getting any further.

The first kiss, and the first few make-out sessions in general, are probably the most intimate moments you will ever share with her. You must be calm, relaxed, and completely natural, and she must feel your authenticity in carrying out the act.

Do not take what follows as points of advice on how to change your way of kissing to better please her. Take it as enlightenment, as insight into the female mind.

Women believe a first kiss will tell them:

Whether you are cocky or confident

Women like confidence, not cockiness.

The latter is haphazard and indistinct. If you are cocky, then you probably treat everyone in the same rough way. Confidence involves responding to each situation in the exact manner called for. A cocky man knows when he is going to kiss a girl, he has it all planned out and will not deviate no matter the circumstances.

This is a turn off.

A confident man is attentive to mood, atmosphere, and vibe. He eases into the kiss seamlessly. In fact, the perfect first kiss is one in which you both come together spontaneously. In my experience, a first kiss that is accompanied by a bit of childish chuckling is preferred, as it suggests that the two of you have an ease and comfort that can only lead to better things.

Whether you are a full-body or one-point of-contact kind of guy

Women relate kissing to sex. You should keep this in mind before the first smooch.

If you are really into the girl you’re dating, you must make the first kiss a long one. It is natural to pull her close and to massage and caress her as you kiss. If she does not care to see you again, she will give you a peck on the cheek or a mere hug. If the two of you kiss on the lips and she responds as vigorously as you, then she will expect you to engage your entire body in the act.

Using your hands, leaning into her, allowing her to feel the full presence and pressure of your body for a prolonged period of time—she will read these as signs that you will be just as interested in touching and exploring her body when the two of you are horizontal.

A stiff, unimaginative, low energy kiss focused only on her lips will lead her to assume that when the lights are out and your clothes are off you will do pretty much the same thing with your dick.

This will not inspire her, and it is unlikely to advance your cause.

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About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.


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