How To Spoil Her Without Spending Much Money
This is not an article on how to win a girl over on the cheap. My purpose here is to highlight some of the little things that melt hearts, but too often go overlooked.
You will know if you are going out with a woman obsessed with material things. Most such girls do not make a secret of the fact that they are used to being lavished with gifts and expensive trips and outings.
It is unfair to label all such high spirited women gold diggers. The latter refers to a kind of sociopathic behavior that you should certainly be wary of. But there are women who are capable of giving true love and affection and just view being spoiled as having expensive things given to them.
Not all women share this point of view.
In fact, I would say that most dateable girls—that is, the ordinary, everyday hotties that most of us have access to—would find it awkward for a guy they just started dating to buy them things worth four of five figures.
There are ways to spoil a girl you’re really starting to like without spending a lot of money. Here are a few of them.
Do not be fooled by her independent and tough-minded bearing. The sisters—rightly so—now have more access to higher education and professional opportunity then they have ever had, but they still face a tough world; not only from aggressive and, as we have learned so much about recently, sometimes abusive male bosses and counterparts but from other women as well.
It may seem that she only slightly lowers her tough exterior when the two of you go out. She may give the impression that she can get on perfectly without a man and is doing you a favor by being out with you, but none of this is true.
The coarseness you sense is thin and easily penetrated. Beneath it there exists a ferment of anxieties, insecurities, and desires. She wants and needs to be complimented, held, touched, cuddled, and protected.
Indeed, the simplest compliment can make her entire day. Saying something about the way she’s done her hair or the way she looks in a new dress or shoes shows her that you notice and that you care. And not even the most expensive pair of earrings you can find will match the feeling you will evoke by telling her how attractive she is to you.
Minor sorts of petting behavior will also work to spoil her. Removing errant hairs from her eyes, running your hand down her back, kissing her unexpectedly in a public place—these are displays of affection that most men, including your humble writer, consider sentimental. But they work; they are the kinds of things that women delight in.
In this age of loud, crude, rude, outlandish, over-the-top exhibitionism, of “grab them by the pussy politics” and a society that continues to tear itself apart for no other reason than that it feels good the true gentlemen seems out of place. Because she has probably had to deal with scoundrels, assholes, and gropers for most of her life she will find your chivalric manners surprising, refreshing, and pleasing.
At first she will not know how to respond to the opening of doors, pulling out of chairs, and offering of jackets and sweaters to keep her warm during unexpected chills; she will be at once startled and turned on when you suddenly pull her close in a crowded place, wrap your arm around her waist when the two of you are standing on a curb, and step up to defend her honor when some ruffian in a club has insulted it. But she will soon get used to these things and like them.
Your girl may make a six-figure salary, may wear power suits to work every day, and may have proven herself capable of holding her own at the office. But when she is with her man she still wants to feel protected.
Last but not least the ultimate form of spoiling is the massage. Women like to be touched in both a sexual and a sensual way. Rubbing her shoulders and back will make her feel loved and fussed over.
The coup de grace is the foot massage. Vincent Vega got it right: there is something especially sensuous about massaging a woman’s feet; it is the most intimate form of massage you can give, probably because it is genuinely relaxing and can be loosely associated with a sexual fetish.
If you really want to spoil her, give her a massage. It will cost you no money; only your time, energy, and attention.
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.