How To Date A Woman Who Makes More Money Than You
Modern dating involves a number of obstacles, traps, and pitfalls that you must be aware of if you are to succeed in it. The great game is partly shaped by the natural inclinations of men and women and partly by the conventions of society. The former have not changed much, but the latter shift all the time. It seemed much easier, at least from the perspective of us menfolk, when it was almost certain that whichever woman you took out would make far less money than you or none at all.
Those days are long gone. We now live in what I believe is a much better world in which the woman you meet is far more likely to be on par with you as a professional and an earner.
However, it is becoming increasingly common to meet a woman who is about your age, is single, attractive, sociable, and outgoing, who has, in short, all the attributes you would normally look for in a girl, but who happens also to make more money than you.
The flattening of organizational structures has made talent and proven ability more important than experience and time served. It is much easier to move from a junior to a rather senior position; and it is now the norm to go from a five to a six figure salary within the course of a few years rather than ten or twenty. It is also the case that more young women, like their young male peers, are leaving undergrad and postgrad programs and setting up their own businesses and doing so with success.
The point is that you should not be surprised to meet a girl in your usual watering hole who looks, talks, and acts like every other girl you’ve ever dated but is pulling down a pile of dough every month. If you like her, and want to ask her out, get her number. If you know that you cannot under any circumstances date a woman who makes more money, then you should let it go. Believe me when I say you’re missing out. But if you’re not ready than save her and yourself a lot of grief by letting it alone.
If you want to give it a try, here are a few pointers to help you along the way:
Remember that the size of her earnings is your problem, not hers. If she goes out with you, she likes you. She can’t help the fact she makes more money than you, and you should not make her feel bad or apologize for it. Once you have figured out the money disparity between you or she tells you about it, there is no need to bring it up again. Don’t fixate on that one fact. You can rest assured that she doesn’t care that much about it.
You must resist the temptation to read her every action as a slight against the inferiority of your wallet. She will sometimes want to make your outings her treat. It is okay to let her do so—occasionally. She may also want to buy you expensive gifts and holiday presents. Women tend to be naturally giving and generous in this way; they like to see the people they care for looked after and well cared for; it is a nurturing instinct that did not suddenly die when she began to pull in the doe. Let her spoil you a little; she probably has no one else, besides her parents, siblings, and nieces and nephews, to spend the money on.
Finally, if your girl makes a lot of money then she is no doubt in some corridor of power and influence. That means she works with and around smart, aggressive, and intelligent men. From time to time, you will be asked to meet them and be part of social gatherings that involve them. They will challenge you. One or another of them probably wants your girl for himself, and he will try to do and say things that make you look unworthy of the person you want to be with. Be prepared to hold your own. Show your girl that you can handle being on the arm of someone of her stature.
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.