Is She Too Young For You?
Her ever-present smile, seductive shyness, and supple body; her youth, spirit, subtle charisma and glowing charm—these are all attributes of young women whose sexuality is not bold or outrageously aggressive, but is instead soft, understated, and damn hard to resist.
Tween girls—say between the ages of 19 and 22—are the ones who tend to be in this category. You might call them tween nymphs. They are not as bashful as they appear; they have a natural ability to make men look at them and want them without doing anything obnoxious to attract attention to themselves.
These women are highly desirable for the physical and attitudinal behaviors I described above and for the unspoken and implicit promise they give to the many older men whose attentions they attract. When I say older men, I do not mean the middle-aged and the geezers. I am referring specifically to guys like you—guys who are well past their undergrad and grad school years, who have established a clear path to move quickly up the corporate ladder, and are on the verge of expanding a successful startup or moving nearer to partnership.
You’ve worked hard, but something has gotten lost in the grind you’ve had to endure. All the hours you’ve had to put in, all the setbacks and comebacks you’ve experienced, all the shit you’ve had to take from asshole bosses, all the betrayals you’ve had to suffer, lies you’ve had to disprove, and politicking you’ve had to engage in to get where you has taken a toll. You’ve lost a little of yourself. There is a part of you that is satisfied with what you’ve accomplished, but another part that hankers after something simpler, more basic, easier to understand and control.
That is what tween nymphs offer. They are not virgins of course, but they tend to have little experience of the world. When someone like you comes along—an older and more sophisticated man—they will be impressed, and they will, as it is in their nature to do, allow you to take the lead in everything that concerns the two of you.
You may have taken an interest in a tween nymph. But the question must be asked before you move on this opportunity: is she too young for you?
It is a question that men rarely ask. We live in such a liberated and care-free time the very notion that a man well into his 30s should question whether it is right to date a woman not yet out of college seems old fashioned. The trouble with this view is that it lowers the value of questioning and mindlessly sets aside the reality of the situation.
Many tween nymphs are mature beyond their years, or they are able to adapt quickly to the demands of being the girlfriend or partner of a rising executive or professional. But the one you choose to date may not be. Either way, you should at least be aware of the following risks that come with dating a much younger woman:
There is a difference between yapping about everything that happened in your life in the past week and holding a solid and interesting conversation. As everyone knows the first few weeks of a sizzling new romance is almost entirely physical; and when the two of you are not bonking each other to oblivion you talk about a range of silly and nonsensical things just to pass the time between fucking sessions.
This can only go on for so long. You will eventually get bored of it and want discussion of more substance. Here, experience matters. Your tween nymph’s lack of conversation does not owe so much to stupidity as lack of travel, knowledge, and experience of people and situations beyond school and home.
If you are not one for much talking, fine. But if you want a girl who can stimulate your intellect as well as your loins you should take care that your new squeeze is without this particular shortcoming.
This is one of the hardest things about dating much younger women. You will eventually have to deal with their friends; and although she is solid and mature enough for you, they may not be.
You will have a hard time finding common ground with people who are in a scene that you left behind over a decade ago.
Then there is the big one: introducing her to your work colleagues, and entertaining the latter with her as hostess. Again, some tween nymphs can step into this role seamlessly. But you may be with one who clams up and ultimately embarrasses you in front of the people you need most to impress. This sounds cold-blooded and unfeeling, but you would not have gotten as far as you have without a chunk of ice in your heart.
The bottom line is that you will need to socialize and entertain people in order to network and build the alliances. The woman in your life must not only understand the importance of this she must also take an active part in organizing and running it.
A woman closer to you in age, education, aspirations, and experience will not need to be told what to do and how to do it. A much younger and inexperienced woman will need a lot more handholding.
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.