How to Crush a First Date
First dates leave most guys in tatters. They worry about every single detail, or worst they are so overconfident that the only thing they manage is to leave their date shocked at how little he listened to her, all the way through.
If you want to:
You better shape up. This article will take you through the actions you need to take to not only make a lasting impression but to make her wonder why she didn’t find you earlier.
When you’re deciding on your first date there are a couple of steps you should always follow to make sure you can get the best out of it. The first step is deciding for yourself what kind of date you want it to be.
Coffee dates may be cheap guys, but not many people can take a girl straight from a Starbucks into the bedroom. If she’s the kind of girl who you think will be spontaneous and you want to give yourself the chance to bring her back then taking her out for drinks is always a great idea for a first date.
If you want to show a little class even upgrade from going to your ‘local bar’ to an upmarket cocktail bar, nothing gets the girls in the mood like a few long island ice teas. Make sure to keep your composure and to not get too drunk.
The last time I checked girls aren’t overly into it when you are falling over on the way back from the bar and spilling your drink over her.
Two ears and one mouth, that’s what my teacher used to tell me in school when I was being too loud. We are always told we need to listen more effectively but when it comes to dates, it can be the secret to great conversation.
Some of the greatest conversationalists in the world very often do not talk at all about themselves, they simply listen and ask questions. By listening to what your date is saying you can find out what they are interested in, get them talking and get them to share themselves with you.
These first steps to building a bond with your date are crucial and the last thing you want to do is be sat boring her with a story of your latest sexual conquests when in reality she wants to talk about her pets.
Remember to not just ask questions when in conversation in a date, it’s interesting to instead of making your date feel like she’s in an interview to make statements. By making statements instead of asking questions you can drive the conversation forward without feeling like an interrogation or the conversation being forced.
If the conversation is about pets, for example, don’t say ‘Do you have any pets?’
Say, ‘I love pets. I have a chocolate Labrador at home.’
(p.s. Don’t make this up if you don’t, that’s bound to mess you up later on)
P.P.S. Chicks dig pets, always a great conversation point.
When it comes to body language, we can get caught up in analyzing what our partner’s body language is saying to us. But don’t forget to consider what your body language is saying to her.
When you greet her for the first time, make sure to approach her with an open frame, even offer her a hug. It’s great to get that touching and familiarity early doors.
When you are in the middle of your date, make sure your torso is pointed towards her and your arms or legs aren’t crossed. Chances are you may be doing this already if you are interested in her, as subconsciously your body will do this without you realizing.
Try and keep your arms open and stay animated, smiling whilst you speak to her and keeping regular eye contact are all great ways for her to see you are fun, exciting and interested in her. If you can make physical contact in a none-creepy way this is always perfect too.
I’m sure you’ve seen those couples all over each other on dates, it’s because they are interested. Try and touch her lower back, her face or her hands. Just not all at the same time… obviously!
When it comes to first dates, many guys think it’s the perfect idea to have the date and then at the very end of the date go in for a kiss. At this stage, this is the first chance the girl has had to kiss you, and chances are she’s probably not going to go from kissing you to fucking you in 2 minutes.
Instead, learn how to up a gear mid-date. If you are in a bar and there is music, get your date to dance with you. Don’t get her to sit at the table whilst you order the next drink, both of you get up and go to the bar.
When she’s standing to touch her lower back, her shoulders, whatever you need to do to get more physical contact. If she’s into it, she will go along with it and don’t be scared to go in for a small kiss in the middle of the bar if it feels right.
This gives her the chance to think over the kiss whilst you continue the rest of the date and chances are, you’ll probably kiss a few more times throughout.
If you’ve escalated properly and moved up the gears on your date, then this is where the big finale comes in. Closing ladies and gentleman is a skill that few men possess, but if you can master just this one simple lesson, I guarantee you’ll see immediate results!
When we talk about closing, I’m talking about sealing the deal. The phrase actually comes from sales and is probably why so many salespeople are such natural ladies men.
Closing a date is instead of waiting for something to happen organically, you try and make it happen. For example, let’s say you are getting on well with your date in the bar, you’ve kissed, drinks are flowing you both are laughing.
You are currently at the peak of your interaction with your date. At that stage don’t ask her, ‘would you be interested in sleeping with me?’ Instead say to her, ‘let’s get out of here’ or ‘Let’s get some drinks back at my place’.
You aren’t asking her, you are telling her. You are taking control of the situation, and if you’ve ticked all the boxes along the way of your first date, the close will be killer.
You’ll be the envy of your friends, crushing first dates and the only problem you’ll have is spending too much money on cocktails… or condoms.
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About Jamie Atkinson Jamie Atkinson is a freelance writer and sales coach who has over 10 years of experience coaching, selling and training in the field. He was born in the UK but now travels all over the world, teaching other aspiring entrepreneurs how to achieve their own success by sharing the benefits of having a lifestyle business. You can find out more from Jamie over at www.letsgetjobless.com