The 7 Reasons You Suck At Dating
We all go through a bit of a bad streak, some of us more than others. You find in those moments you can look outward for excuses for the reason why it’s all going so wrong.
It’s just the bar, or the night of the week, or plain old bad luck. Very rarely do we look inwards at ourselves to the source of the real problem.
It’s hard to look at yourself as the problem, yet if you can identify the reasons behind why your game is suffering, you stand to not only improve your game but benefit in the long run.
By identifying what sort of issues can damage your dating life, you can see if they apply to you, and if they do, fix them.
Let’s get started.
Keep reading below to find seven of the most troublesome factors which can damage your game. If you can identify these problems in your dating life, swapping them out can make a huge difference to your overall efforts.
Alright Casanova, we know you’re gods gift to women, but there’s no pride in sitting way up on that high horse, there’s also very little action too. One of the biggest mistakes a ton of guys make is being way too picky.
While we all want a Penelope Cruz in our life, don’t hold out for the most beautiful people alive, why not try ‘kind of attractive but definitely a lot of fun’ a shot?
If you’re stuck on the idea that if the passion isn’t burning you alive there’s a problem, just take a minute to look at yourself. Get to know the person, and the fun and chemistry will soon follow.
Some will tell you that dating is the best way to get over a breakup, but chances are, this is what’s screwing with your dating efforts. Imagine if you actually fell for the new person you were dating but couldn’t make it work because you’re still reaching out for the bae from before?
If this is you, stop right here. Grab a beer, maybe a puppy, if you watch a rom-com we won’t tell your friends, and get over your ex before moving forward.
If you’ve ever sent an unsolicited dick pic or do this frequently my friend, you are number 3. If you’re the guy who spends his afternoons swiping right on every possibility on Tinder, barges up to girls at the bar and calls them baby or slides into the Instagram DM with a cheeky ‘looking good,’ just stop.
There’s nothing sexy about trying too hard, take a step back and realize that sometimes being less interested, is more interesting.
Let’s be honest; if you’re looking at the world through rose-tinted spectacles and everybody else is the problem, you might be tempted to say it’s you. But honestly, it might be other people.
You’re probably just attracting the wrong kind of people. Are you always dating the same type of women? Instead of picking up women at 4 am on Tinder, why not try to meet women at local events, speak to someone you like at your gym or even start talking to someone at your local supermarket.
If it’s the kind of people you are always dating, mix it up a little.
Want to know one of the biggest complaints people have on a first date? Your date got bored because you just talked constantly about yourself the whole time.
If you’re ever frustrated at someone for not giving you a chance to speak, just think about if you are doing exactly the same thing. You can’t expect someone to want to know a million questions about you and then get nothing in return, come on now.
If you’re struggling for ideas on how to ask questions, consider learning more about keeping a conversation going on a date. Asking open questions is a great way to get started.
Open questions allow the person to tell you more about a topic or give an opinion, instead of just answering with a yes or no.
Instead of asking ‘Do you like Philadelphia?’ Ask ‘What do you like about Philadelphia?’
If the answer is just cheesesteaks, I apologize.
Missing this can piss off two types of people. Women who wanted to be treated equally, and the girls who want to split the bill so you’re on equal terms.
Not all girls like you to pay the bill, some like to keep all things equal. Splitting things equally, whether it’s cheesecake, the bill or oral is always going to leave both parties feeling satisfied.
Knowing the right time to end your date is a secret art that not many possess. Waiting until you run out of conversation followed by ‘my mom’s calling, got to go’ leaves you almost zero chance of that all-important follow-up date.
Learning how to end on a high is an important art to a conversation and more importantly, dates. If you end the date with the feeling of excitement and the promise of something more, you will have a mystery surrounding you and leave your date wanting to find out more.
Leaving a girl wanting more works wonders both in the bedroom and on dates, so mastering this technique can help you significantly.
Now you’ve been enlightened to the seven reasons you might suck at dating; It’s time to reflect and see if you fit into any of these categories. If you don’t, good work, and just make sure you’re not kidding yourself.
If you do fall under any of them, don’t worry, suck it up, make some changes, and soon, you’ll be a dating pro.
About Jamie Atkinson Jamie Atkinson is a freelance writer and sales coach who has over 10 years of experience coaching, selling and training in the field. He was born in the UK but now travels all over the world, teaching other aspiring entrepreneurs how to achieve their own success by sharing the benefits of having a lifestyle business. You can find out more from Jamie over at www.letsgetjobless.com