10 Things Not To Say On A First Date
When it comes to first dates, you want to give off the very best impression possible. You may have been speaking to this girl for a while, been daydreaming about the possibilities of what date number six could look like.
Sadly, unless you hit a home run out of the gate, you may never make it to date number two. Many guys out there make a number of mistakes on the first date, but most of the mistakes come from your mouth.
It’s not what you did; it’s what you said. Seriously, stop talking, just for a second.
Whether you’ve made these mistakes before or not, knowing what they are and how to avoid them could just save you from date disaster and leave you with the chance of a follow-up.
This article will guide you through the ten things NOT to say on a first date; get ready to hold your tongue guys.
You might think it endearing that you did some research to find out what your potential new partner loves. Unfortunately, she’ll see it as you stalked her online. There’s nothing sexy about knowing the intimate details of a person’s life without them telling you.
Quit while your ahead, and if you have done a little online digging, wait for her to mention it. If you think it’s something you and her might have in common you can always go for the less creepy statement of, ‘Do you like seafood? I tried out this incredible one a few weeks ago’.
Doing your research can give you a better chance of finding a common bond or prove to her that you’re a stalking psychopath…
Alright, Casanova. You may think that you put the ‘O’ in Original, but the last thing she’ll be thinking about is getting her rocks off with a line like that. You make it sound like she’s not had an orgasm in the last year and you’re the one ready to end the drought.
It’s best to remain silent and avoid coming out with boasting lines like these. Let your actions do the talking, not your words.
There’s nothing more terrible in a first date than a negative nancy. A first date should be exciting, fresh, upbeat and fun. If you start complaining about everything from your neighbor’s dog to your father’s drinking habits you’re going to scare your date out of the door quicker than you can say ‘it was nice to meet you.’
If you speak highly of others and speak positively, people perceive this often as a reflection of yourself. She’ll project those qualities and talents back to you. Unfortunately the same can be said for any negativity you put out into the world.
If you complain too much, her first reaction on leaving the date is bound to be the same.
You might not believe this, but everybody has different reasons for being single. Don’t forget, you’re single to and highlighting that it’s unbelievable why she may be single might make it obvious that you are single for some not so innocent reasons.
Even worse, if she’s willing to talk about the reasons she is single you’re bound to bring up a conversation about a bad ex, all her bad habits or worse the incredible sex she had with that guy from the bar last week.
She’ll end the conversation with a ‘thanks for reminding me; I’m going to call that guy now.’
Nothing kills the conversation worse than jokes. It’s a total panic move and shows that you are not only uncomfortable but have run out of things to talk about.
Even if you think your jokes are funnier than Chris Rocks latest stand-up routine, in a first date situation, it can simply come across that you’ve run out of interesting things to say.
Instead, focus on open-ended questions or check out this guide on ways to keep a conversation going on a date, you can thank me later.
Oh come on, did I really need to point this out to you? If you are asking her outright on a first date, who is the other girl in the picture, you’re sending her the signal that you’re more interested in that girl than your date.
If you thought it was an appealing quality to pitch a three-way on the first date, you’d be wrong and 99% of the time your date is going to take it the wrong way. I’ve you’ve pulled this off successfully and landed that three-way, email into us, we’d love to do a cover piece, you lothario, you.
Tell her again how you value her commitment, dedication and hours of seclusion she no doubt undertook to become certified in her art. Or you know, point out the obvious fact that all you think about is sex and her having her legs over her shoulders.
She might dig it, but chances are, she’ll see straight through it as she’s no doubt heard this one a million times. No exaggeration on the number.
Why not surprise her and ask a meaningful question about if she had to study in an ashram and what it was like becoming an instructor. Be warned though; she might just fall off her chair with surprise.
Nothing is more unattractive than a guy with a fat wallet, and an ugly ego. In the modern world, unless your date is out for someone who earns a lot of money (that should be a warning sign) you’re not going to impress anybody but yourself.
Save the gloating for the mirror and if you really want to get into a discussion about the type of work or career you have, then ask her a thought-provoking question about her line of work. Focus on what her work involves or the deeper meaning it may have behind it, not simply what she earns.
Picture this scene. Your date’s been working back to back shifts all week, it’s a Friday night. She’s dolled herself up, got her friend to help with her makeup, had her clothes picked out all week. And then when she arrives at the date, you tell her she looks tired.
Tired = Not pretty.
You don’t need Google translate to figure out how that one’s going to end.
When you are meeting somebody new for the first time, if you are going to step away from that situation to talk to somebody else, that’s not cool. You’re basically devaluing that person and prioritizing somebody else.
Keep your phone in your pocket or even better put it in airplane mode. Try to avoid any interaction that would involve bringing your phone out of our pocket, even if it’s a picture of your adorable 4-week old puppy.
You don’t want to see a message on there you can’t ignore.
Now you know the ten things you could say on a first date that would get you in trouble you have a choice. You can either avoid saying these ten things and focus on the positive approach.
Or, show this article to your friends, make a bet, and try and hit all 10 points on one date and see what happens. Get your friends to do a shot for every one that you accomplish without getting punched in the face.
The second option sure beats a quiet night in playing Monopoly.
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About Jamie Atkinson Jamie Atkinson is a freelance writer and sales coach who has over 10 years of experience coaching, selling and training in the field. He was born in the UK but now travels all over the world, teaching other aspiring entrepreneurs how to achieve their own success by sharing the benefits of having a lifestyle business. You can find out more from Jamie over at www.letsgetjobless.com