How To Date A Single Mother
You cannot help who you meet and like. The perfect girl to your mind may be one who is young, unattached, smart, and funny, with a pretty face, a flat stomach, and a high, tight, rock-solid ass. You may have recently met a girl who has all of these qualifications, but nevertheless comes with a complication.
She is a mom, and her child lives with her.
Single mothers are not all in their 30s and 40s. A great and growing number of single moms are well-educated, upscale twentysomethings who still lead a relatively normal dating life. Indeed, this does not have to be a problem. And it will only become one if you judge her.
The child may be the result of an early and ill-considered marriage or an old college boyfriend who she decided not to marry. Any number of things could have happened to make her a mother at a young age. It is not up to you to decide the kind of woman she is on the basis of this fact.
She probably did not tell you about the kid when you first met. That omission was not an attempt to try to trick you. Her child is not a subject she is willing to bring up with a complete stranger in a club or bar. She will, however, tell you all about him or her on the first proper date. Your first reaction matters a great deal.
A look of nervousness, despondency, irritability, or dismissiveness will not do. The thing to remember is that she is a mother first; and there is no creature on earth more cutting and savage than a human mother protecting her children. She will take even the slightest sign of chagrin as an assault on her baby, and you will not get a second date—in fact, you may not make it through the whole of the first.
Acceptance, interest, and genuine curiosity about the little one are the only responses allowed. And you need not fake this. Although the news may throw you at first, if you really like the woman you should be willing to gather some facts about that part of her life. If she actively dates, then she no doubt has help and a system worked out that allows her to see men while being a mother.
The decision to date a single mother is a big one. Some single mothers are just looking for a good time—sex in other words. Others may be open to something serious. If you have determined that the girl you met falls into the former category, then you really don’t have to do anything. She will take charge of the situation to get what she wants.
But if you are thinking of dating a single mother, then you should consider the following advice:
If you have been out on a few dates and seem to get along, it means she thinks you are relationship material. She may not want to introduce you to her child straightaway. In fact, after she tells you that she has a child she may not want to discuss the matter for a while.
This is perfectly reasonable from her perspective. She doesn’t want to introduce her son or daughter to man after man. She wants to ensure that the two of you have a future before she invites you into that part of her life.
The father may still be in the picture. You will have to meet him at some point. If they co-parent, he will probably try to get along with you, as she would have already told him about the new man in her life. Be as gracious and friendly as you can. That will help matters immensely.
However, the father may be an unreliable prick. Try not to be rude. But if he is sneering and sarcastic to you when you first meet, you must return fire. Your girl will expect it of you. She knows what an asshole he is, and you must assure her that you can hold your own.
The time of a single mother is not always her own. Expect the last minute cancellation of plans and very few weekend getaways. Holidays are also difficult. You will nearly always have to spend Christmas with her people or have to cut a vacation short because of the need to collect the child from its father. Only after you have been together for some years will she be willing to make sacrifices for your relationship.
Here is another article related to the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2017/11/17/how-to-date-a-milf/
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.