No more attraction? Here is how to save your relationship!
Do you know the feeling of lying in bed next to your girlfriend and you were both just lying there without saying a single word to each other? Sometimes this feeling of awkward silence would last for hours, sometimes even all night. Maybe she was checking her phone, texting but not actually talking to you and if she was, it was rather about a whole bunch of unimportant things, like reminding you of taking out the garbage on your way to work the next morning.
Whenever you even attempt to make a move towards the sexual direction, like touching or kissing her gently, she hardly ever responds or even when she does, she seems to be rather uninterested and defensive. When you ask her what’s up and decide to confront her with her strange behavior, she would only come up with a whole bunch of different excuses.
She might have had a hard day or she has to wake up early in the morning, maybe her boss was being a dickhead, maybe she is just tired and not in the mood or – perhaps the most common one – she has a headache.
Whatever excuse she might have pulled up her sleeve, all of those signals actually represent a much deeper issue and are not what is really going on below the surface. The problem is, even though she might tell you about stuff, that is currently going on in her life, and it really seems to be bothering her, between the lines she is telling you something entirely different.
And no, I am not talking about her lying to you, even though sometimes that might be the case. Sometimes she doesn‘t even know herself what is going on, which is why she can‘t tell you properly.
Therefore, I am talking about her not clearly telling you what the actual problem is, that caused her to behave strangely in the first place. I think you can get a sense of what I am trying to refer to here. Why would she even act and behave so defensive, if she was really and I mean 100% into you?
Yep, you nailed it. She is not feeling it for you anymore. I mean, in most cases she might still be in love with you, especially when you have been in an ongoing relationship for quite some time, that would totally miss the point of what I am trying to tell you. Because I am not referring to the feeling of love and connection. I am talking about the feeling of attraction.
I am talking about the feeling that keeps her up at night, the feeling that causes her to think about you all day long, the feeling that leads her to texting you while she is at work and happily telling her friends and co-workers about how she can’t stop thinking about you and so forth. I am talking about the feeling that gets her wet by only thinking about coming home after work and finally jumping beneath the sheets with you, wanting her to rip your clothes off your body.
What most people, especially us men, fail to realize is that the feeling of love and connection differs from the feeling of being attracted to another person on a both emotional and physical – in other words, sexual level. The problem is that most men have this false idea and believes about the feeling of attraction, especially when it comes to a relationship. Just because you are finally in a relationship with your loved one and you now get her to call your girlfriend and you can finally show off with her in front of your friends and co-workers, doesn’t mean that the feeling of love and connection will do the job by itself.
That doesn’t mean that having an emotional and spiritual connection with your girl is unimportant, because it most definitely is, and a fulfilling relationship couldn’t ever function without those feelings.
What I am saying though is that most people tend to forget about the importance of a physical/sexual attraction in a relationship. Just because you are now finally together doesn’t mean that you are not man and woman anymore and you just stay together doing the same old over and over again. This way of thinking not only leads to a lot of boredom and a routine that is toxic for both your overall well being and the one of your partner, but causes long term effecting relationship issues, that are not to be underestimated.
This can happen for many different reasons, but I would now like to introduce you to the most common reasons of a missing physical attraction in a relationship, both short and long term:
Now that you are more aware of the importance of the feeling of attraction you probably want to hear about advice that you can immediately implement into action to save your relationship from falling apart. Here are a few things that you can do:
All of those advices require being open to those sorts of experiences though. You need to be willing to make the commitment to change things for the better, as your attitude in your relationship, such as it’s outcome is partly your responsibility. And if you are being totally honest, life really is too short to be wasting too much time in a relationship that leaves you nothing but unhappy and not fulfilled. So why not give yourself the permission to talk to your loved one and finding some new activities and creating new experiences that will not only benefit you both but also increase your level of intimacy and both emotional and sexual connection with one another. Give it a try and see for yourself!
For More Great Tips Please Visit: Seduce with Personality
About mark lambert Mark Lambert is a writer, blogger and coach for men. For more than seven years he has been writing about the challenges of our time on the gender role and the development of one's own personality. On his site, www.seducewithpersonality.com he gives men advice on dating, relationships and life.