Blow Her Mind on the First Date

The Date That Will Seal the Deal Isn’t What You Think

The first date will either make or break you?

Either you?re going to knock it out of the park and make a lasting impression?

?Maybe even get laid?

Or your going to flop and she?s never going to respond to you again.

There?s a lot of pressure on that first encounter and I?ve been seeing a lot of guys getting it all wrong.

It?s not a very simple matter though?

Dinner and a movie is so clich? and can easily land you in the friendzone?

You don?t want to take her out to a bar because she?ll think all you want is some ass?

?Happy hour maybe?…

?Mini golfing perhaps?…

I guess you could just take her on your private yacht to Monaco for the weekend?

?But I?m guessing if we could take her on a private yacht for a first date then we wouldn?t be here huh.


If you left your yacht keys in your other pants, it?s not the end of the world!




With all the pressure to make a great first impression, it?s easy to overthink the first date?

HUGE MISTAKE a lot of guys make is trying to go all out for the first date?

It?s not crazy to plan something big an extravagant to try to impress her.

You want her to have an amazing time and also start to build a sexual attraction with you so it makes sense.


Here?s why that?s a terrible idea.

Now I?m not saying that you shouldn?t take a little care in planning a date, and there are some great articles on how to command a date?

What I?m saying is that if you go over the top with the first date, you?re going to do the opposite of what you intended?

?She will not be impressed?

?She will see you are reaching, and you?ll come across as a guy trying too hard to impress her?


Of course, you are but you don?t need her to know that.

Big extravagant first dates are like the equivalent of sending flowers to her at work or standing outside her house with the stereo playing some sob song.

Either way it makes you look pitiful and puts her in the position of power.

I have another article that talks about the power dynamics on a date so I won?t go into too much detail but long story short?

?Someone is going to be in the position of power and the other will be in a subordinate position?

You want to be in the position of power and not the other way around.


So how much is too much??

I?m glad you asked big fella!

The most important thing to remember is THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST DATE!

We wouldn?t go spend a bunch of money on a car that we haven?t even test driven would we??

Are we gonna go spend twenty grand on a brand new car just because we liked the picture on the website??


We?re gonna go sit in it, test drive it, se how the stereo system sounds, make sure it has enough leg room and all that shit.

And we?re also not going to spend a whole bunch of time, money and effort planning a first date with a girl that we aren?t even sure we like yet?

?Remember that we are screening her as much if not more than we?re trying to attract her?

?We are the boss here and we don?t chase women?

What if you spend a bunch of money to take her out to a fancy restaurant, wine and dine her?

?Then halfway through the night you realize she has a glass eye or halitosis some shit?!…

There?s no cancellations or refunds for that one my friend.

Some place expensive or even upscale can send a message that you don?t want her getting?


?Either she?ll think that you?re desperate and you?re that?s why you?re trying so hard?

?Or she will think that you?re just trying to use your money to impress her because you are compensating for something else?

We don?t want her thinking either of these things.


What you should do instead.

The best date ideas are things that you like to do that seem like you were going to do them anyway without her.

The purpose of the date is to spend time together to get to know one another so honestly the location and the events are not as important as what you do while you?re there?

For example I took a girl mattress shopping one time for our first date?

Sounds crazy right?

I told her that I needed to buy a new mattress and that we were gonna stop by to test some out before we got lunch?

What we ended up doing was jumping on the beds and getting cuddly on the beds and it set the tone for the rest of the date.

What this did was showed her that my time is important and just because we?re going on a date doesn?t mean I?m going to drop everything I?m doing.

It also showed her that I could make even a mundane thing like mattress shopping fun.

We had lunch at a nice restaurant but not over the top?

?Had a few drinks?

?Made out in the parking lot and then she took me home with her?

THE KEYS OF THE FIRST DATE are to create scarcity.

We have to show her that our time and effort is important and that we aren?t going to blow it all on her just because she has a vagina.

Vaginas are cool but all women have em so there ain?t no one in 9 billion pussy out there.

Take her with you for a date instead of taking her out for a date.



Pro Tips!

  • Plan an event or something that you want to go to and then bring her along. If you were going to watch a sports game or something then you can bring her along and call it a date.? This way it doesn?t seem like we went and bought basketball tickets just for her on a first date.? We were already planning on going to the game but we had an extra ticket because our friend bailed but she can have it and come along?Get it?…


  • An ideal first date is something that?s free. This shows her that you are fun all by yourself and don?t need to pay to be entertained.? Also if she has some sort of expectation or thinks less of you because you didn?t spend money on her then she?s just looking for a free meal and you don?t want her ass anyway. Open mic events are usually free. You guys can catch some amateur comedians and make fun of how bad their jokes are.? You could take her to a pet store just to pet the puppies.? If she doesn?t jump at the idea of puppies then she?s a monster.? Get creative with it and don?t just do the usual shit.? Doing less will help you stand apart.


Stay thirsty my friends,


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About Van Bender Van Bender is a writer and coach specializing in becoming the alpha, the art of attraction and hacking the friendzone. Check out my website and subscribe for exclusive content

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