Easy Girls Need to Be Wooed (And Things They Don’t Teach You in Seventh Grade)
By: Bobby Rio
I needed to get my first kiss under my belt. You know how it is. Your friends start bragging. I had to sit there quiet. Hope no one notices I’m not saying anything. Seventh graders could be brutal when they smelled
I was at the local firehouse. It was an “open house” night where you could go and check out the trucks. Free donuts. Lemonade. Stuff like that.
Me and my friend Kevin are there. Kevin probably got his first kiss when he was 7. He’s telling me about this girl Jessica Kaiser. “She’s easy” he’s telling me.
We see one of our classmates Ellis. Kevin calls him over. “You hooked up with Jessica right?” he says.
“Yea, fingered her in the gymnasium during third period lunch a couple months ago.” Ellis says.
A few other guys join in the conversation. They have fingered Jessica too.
Kevin decides that it’s my turn her finger Jessica. When we go back to his house he calls her.
On the phone I hear him describing me to her. He tells her I’m cute that she’ll like me. He then flirts with her a bit. And I’m jealous at how natural this all is to him.
The next day in school me and Kevin are walking down the hallway. He stops a girl. I realize its Jessica and I nearly shit my pants. He does the quick intro. I sort of nod, awkwardly smile, and the bell is ringing so we have to get to class.
Later that day Kevin tells me Jessica thought I was cute and he gave her my number. Not many girls used to say I was cute so it feels good. Like I finally won something. I start imaging what it will feel like to stick my finger in her.
That night my phone rings. It’s Jessica.
“So, Kevin tells me you think I’m hot” she immediately says.
I repeated the phrase “um” about 100 more times. She kept asking me questions. And I would answer them in short one or two word answers. I wanted to ask her questions. But I couldn’t think of any thing to say.
Midway through the conversation I could tell she was getting bored or frustrated. She kept trying though. Asking me what kind of music I liked. Me: “Um, everything I guess.” Asking me what I like to do after school. Me: “Um, whatever I guess.”
The next day at school I saw her in the hallway. My mind went blank again. I had nothing to say. She waited. Twirled her hair. Maybe was hoping for a compliment. I don’t know. I stood there like a retard. Finally, I said “Um, I got to get to class. Talk to you later.”
That night my phone rang again. It wasn’t Jessica.
“Hi, this is Tina. I’m friends with Jessica.” she says. “Jessica felt bad doing this so she asked me to. She thinks you’re boring. And doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.”
I hung up the phone.
Here’s the strange thing. I wasn’t upset. Because she still thought I was CUTE. And at the time that is all that mattered.
Of course now I know differently. I know that if you can’t “talk” it doesn’t matter how cute a girl initially thinks you are.
A couple days ago I got together with my friend Jon. He’s a guy I learned A LOT from over the years about conversation, flirting, stuff like that.
We recently opened registration for a six week masterclass on conversation called: Bionic Verbal Game: The Triad Stack
The reason I tell this story today is because while I was creating this program with Jon I kept thinking about this incident. I kept thinking about how different my life would have been if I knew this stuff back in the seventh grade. How many girls would I have fingered back then?
The thing is, life has been pretty good to me since mastering this area of my life. But you can’t go back in time. I can’t go back to high school and suddenly be one of the “cool” kids instead of being the “shy guy.”
Luckily, even though you can’t go back in time. You can “fix” the future. You can avoid messing up again. I did.
And Jon was one of the guys I learned from along the way.
Registration for this class will only be open for a few more days. But there is LIFE CHANGING advice in there. If you use these simple tips your conversations will become 100 times better.
Another thing I learned with Jessica is no matter how “easy” a girl is. You still got to be able to talk. If you can’t talk, you can’t close the deal. It won’t happen. Unless maybe she’s so drunk she’s throwing up on herself. But that doesn’t happen often. Much better to just take the time to learn this stuff.