How to Build Self Confidence
How To Build Self-Confidence To Improve Your Life – 6 Key Insights
by Peter Murphy
One of the best personal attributes one can have is
self-confidence. A positive relationship with others
fosters a sense of self-worth that contributes to the image
you have of yourself.
Even if you are shy and retiring, you can develop the
self-confidence you need to propel you from obscurity into
a place of honor within your circle of acquaintances.
Self-confidence can help you develop new friends, and may
even help you get that promotion you want at work. Recent
research shows that supervisors value your attitude more
than your actual knowledge about your job.
The job can be learned, but an attitude is a personality
trait that comes naturally to those who are self-confident.
If you are not self-confident, there are techniques that
can help you build self-confidence.
1. You have to invest time to learn how to build
self-confidence. Even those who appear to be very
self-confident have faced situations where they were not
comfortable in groups and felt alone and rejected.
Observe the actions of self-confident people and make their
personality traits yours as well. You can imitate their
actions and slowly learn to develop your own personality
traits that lead to self-confidence.
2. Most people dread walking into a room filled with
strangers, either at work, conferences or parties. It is
difficult to appear to be forceful and confident, but if
you practice putting on a happy face, it will soon become
second nature for you to do so (and may even help you
actually be happy).
Attend social functions even though you’d rather stay at
home reading a book. Practice your confidence-building
techniques until they become part of your personality.
3. Appearances count for a lot in projecting an image of a
self-confident individual. When interacting with others,
don’t stay glued to the wall.
Mingle with others and initiate conversations in a
friendly, interested manner. Even though you may be quaking
with insecurities inside, if you appear self-confident it
becomes easier to converse with others and will also make
you more approachable.
4. When you project a self-assured image, you’ll find that
others respond in a positive manner to your overtures of
Don’t be afraid to join a group or activity that is already
in progress. You have something to contribute, and others
will know it.
5. We’ve all admired and envied the person who has the
“gift of gab.” They appear to effortlessly engage in
conversation in any group on any subject.
These people aren’t necessarily born with this ability. For
most people it is an acquired trait that is learned over a
period of time.
It is important to be in tune with others by observing
their expressions, their emotions and body language to know
whether they are approachable or genuinely want to be left
alone. Remember, though, that even a loner will appreciate
a friendly greeting.
6. Being a good conversationalist is essential when
learning how to build self-confidence. Off-the-wall
comments, while they do have their place perhaps during a
lull in the conversation, are generally avoided.
Your contributions to a conversation need to be on target
with the subject being discussed. Easing into a
conversation gradually after listening for a few minutes is
preferable to simply butting in.
Watch for an opening in the conversation to introduce
yourself and make a comment or two; don’t hog the
The process of building self-confidence can be a long,
arduous process that takes time. Be prepared for rejection
some of the time but don’t take it as a personal rebuff.
Keep up your self-confident image and practice what you’ve
learned about building self-confidence. It will soon come
naturally to you.
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.