Approaching Women

Rules of Approaching Women

The most important thing to keep in mind while approaching women is that first impressions are priceless and are made up within the first three seconds of introducing yourself. This means that you have no room for error.

Rule No.1 Women sense and are turned off by insecurity, so make sure you look and act confident. How? Groom, dress, move, and pursue like a man who is confident with women.
Practice socializing with all kinds of strangers on the street, whether they’re old or young, women or men. Just say “Hi” and you’ll start to notice your confidence build up.

Rule No.2 No pickup lines. It upsets me when people ask me for the best pickup lines; there is no such thing as miracle pickup lines. You have to be honest, straightforward and say what’s on your mind. If you use pickup lines, a woman will read right through you and begin to feel cheap. When a woman feels like you’re using a pickup line on her, she will do everything possible to show that she won’t fall for it. Using pickup lines is what destroys a conversation because it’s hard to think of what to say afterwards. Instead, by making conventional small talk, you have a base to build an interesting conversation upon.

Rule No.3 Don’t give her your name. This is the first tool to confirm that she is interested in you. Instead, ask for her name. Once she says her name, compliment it and start talking. If after a while she asks you for your name, it means she is interested. If she doesn’t ask for your name, it means she doesn’t care. If that’s the case, don’t waste your time with her and move on before she does.

Rule No.4 No matter how rosy and suckable her breasts are, no matter if all you can think is a way to just squeeze them – no mattter how tempting it might be, don’t look at her breasts. If she catches you looking, gazing, screening, or scanning for even a one hundredth of a second, it’s all over and you could kiss your chances goodbye. Don’t risk it.

Good looks are important but not enough to keep a woman interested in you after the first 5 minutes. A woman also wants a man who can have an intellectual conversation.
Most men know how to speak to women for the first few minutes but don’t know how to make the conversation last. The most important part is how to keep them interested past the first ten minutes of conversation.
The problem is that men don’t understand how to follow the sequence of natural conversation. Some men make the mistake of talking about themselves all night long, while others begin by talking about how many kids they want, why they’re still single, or how fast their Porsche can go from 0-60 mph. The secret to keeping a woman interested in you for more than ten minutes is to first break down her cinder block wall she puts up to keep out the undesirables. Follow a sequence of natural small talk, bring up something no one else would, for example try to show a natural interest in her artistic abilities, and observe her body language.

Ice breakers
At first, women are on their guard and act cold towards you approaching them. They feel a little intimidated so they put up their ice shields. You must deal with the fact that women will be testing you to see if you are safe or potentially violent. Before you even try developing a conversation, you have to make her feel comfortable by showing her that you’re harmless.

You can do this by using a little sense of humor which is very easy to do. You just need to make sure that you youself have a pleasant personality and also practice what you preach by laughing too.
You can also try some ice breakers like, “this party is really exciting…” or “who’s the creep that left you all alone with these men?”
If she gives you the evil eye or tells you to get lost, don’t feel bad (remember she might just be uncomfortable so don’t take it personally). Follow through with a smile and say, “Hey, you don’t need to get nasty, I was just trying to make conversation.” She might smile back and apologize. If she doesn’t, well hold your head up and move on.

If she smiles and gives you buying signals, this means she is slowly lowering her ice shield. You can continue by asking for her name and following through with a compliment. Now you can move on to the actual conversation.

Rolling your tongue the right way
When you first meet a woman, you have to capture her attention and keep her interested in you. This is achieved through the art of conversation. You have to be able to roll your tongue the right way to charm her. If she’s a 9 or 10 and you suspect, (because of, maybe, your insecurity) that she might be uninterested, you can approach as if you’re really leaving and just stopped briefly to say “hi”. In order to pull this off, while talking to her, pull away as if your leaving, then, perhaps, hesitate to hear something she was saying. Do this until you have established rapport. Then you can get comfortable. The genius of this is, even if she was intend on telling you she is not interested, she won’t, since you already leaving. She would seem foolish and would accomplish nothing.

Sample Approach

You: (Using the situation you find yourself in with her as an opening line) “Hi! I really couldn’t concentrate on what i was doing because of you (with a hint of smile)”.

Her: “What do you mean?.”

You: “I just gave up. You were just sitting here,just garnering all my attention. (again with a hint of smile)”.

Her:Well, i’m sorry to distract you? (Notice if she smiles)

You:”So who’s the creep that left you and your sexy smile here all alone with all these men?” (Ice breaker)

Her: (Laughs and starts to blush) “Actually, I came with my girlfriends just to hang out and relax a bit.”

You: “A devoted and hardworking woman. Now that’s rare to find these days. I bet you’re looking forward to your vacation?”

Her: (Big smile and excited look) “Are you kidding me? I’m dying for a vacation!”

You: “By the way, what’s your name?”

Her: “My name’s Jessie.”

You: “That’s a sweet name! Okay Jessie, if i should ask you where is your ideal vacation spot, how would you respond?”

Her: “Hmm, let me think. (Touches hair, looks up, caresses her glass and then touches my arm) Somewhere hot. Anywhere, as long as there’s a beach around.

You: The beach? You don’t look like the beach type.” (Neghit)

Her: (Surprised) “What do you mean, i’m not the beach type?”

You: “Well you look like the type of person who’d prefer to stay in the city and do some site-seeing or visit museums.” [Expanding on negative hit implying she looks boring.] 🙂

Her: (Laughs out loud) “No way! I love the beach.” (Thinks to herself: “No one has ever told me that before, they usually compliment my looks.”)

You: “You have an amazing laugh, I think I’m going to tell you some more jokes so I can see those gorgeous dimples again.” (Two positive hits).

Her: (Smiling) “Stop, you’re making me laugh. By the way, you still didn’t tell me your name.”

You: “My name’s “Walter”…. So what is it about your work that makes you so exhausted?”

Her:”Well, yada,yada,yada,yada …”

You: (Listens carefully looking for any core value) “Really, and how did that make you feel?”

Her: “Well, blah, blah …”

You: (Listens carefully looking for any core value) “Wow! That’s a lot of work. How did you deal with it?” (Notice, i make a comment before asking her another question, so she’ll know i’m listening)

Her: “Well, blah, blah …”

You: “That’s very interesting, but I would deal with it another way.”

Her: “Oh really. Tell me!”

You: “Well, I’d take a week end off, take the time and prepare the ambiance of wherever i will be, making it an atmosphere of subtle excitement and relaxation. I would make sure the scented candles are lit, the soothing, relaxing music is barely turned up, and the phones are off :). Then i would spend the whole weekend in a hot Jacuzzi and top it off with a soothing, sensual full body massage.”

Her: “Oh that sounds like so much fun. What else?”

You: (Focus conversation back to her – make her talk)”Well what would you suggest?”

Her: “Well, blah, blah …”


Derek Vitalio

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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