Attraction Through Assuming
If you have been following my newsletters you probably have noticed that I have been revealing some big pieces to the puzzle on generating ATTRACTION in women. Today I am going to share with you something that most guys – even guys who are good with women – don’t consciously know. Knowing this secret could very well sky rocket your success with women.
Before moving on to this secret, I am going to review some basics. As you probably know if you have read my book and been reading my newsletters, ATTRACTION is not what women prefer. The collective female prefers a baby faced, tall muscular man, blessed with a monster sized sausage and a tongue with a gifted touch. Why do you think boy bands rake in so much cash? Hello!! – this is what women prefer. This, however, is not what ATTRACTION is.
ATTRACTION is what you do to a woman’s mind and body. The “body” part is creating the emotion inside her of wanting and reaching for more of you, which in my book I call PRIZING. The “mind” part is you establishing that you are the PRIZE to be won over, which in my book I call PRIZABILITY.
Before you can start PRIZING a woman – generating inside her the emotion of wanting, reaching, and chasing for more of you – you must establish PRIZABILITY.
A powerful method for establishing PRIZABILITY with a woman is conveying that you are of slightly higher perceived value than her. Higher perceived value means: her believing that she has more to gain from you than you do from her. Am I saying that you should establish this through promising expensive gifts and buying her
lots of overpriced drinks? No!! Doing this would only establish that you are her human ATM machine. Bad thing!
Am I suggesting that you establish PRIZABILITY by treating her like a jerk? Not at all!
Establishing higher perceived value is about you conveying to her that she has more to gain from you than you do from her because of who you are.
Establishing PRIZABILITY – establishing that you are the PRIZE – sets the groundwork for generating ATTRACTION with a woman. By not having mastered this skill, you are cheating yourself out of a lot of success with women.
Another key concept for generating massive ATTRACTION with women is having a strong intent. Having a strong intent is having the DESIRE and the WILL to do what needs to be done to achieve a particular outcome, coupled with the unwavering belief that you will achieve this intended outcome.
If a person has the DESIRE and the WILL to do what needs to be done to succeed with a woman but does
not have the BELIEF that he can, he will come across as needy. If you do not yet have a strong intent, reread my article “Demystifying Charisma,” and reread the chapter in my book on beliefs.
Okay, we got the basics out of the way. Now for the secret most guys DON’T KNOW. But first, I am going to tell you how I discovered this secret. Around three years ago while hanging out at a bookstore I met a woman lumbered with one of the most spectacular bodies I have ever seen. She, furthermore, happened to be bisexual and into having threesomes!! Her and I really hit it off, and ended up having sex in the bookstore’s parking
lot. Afterwards, I tried coaxing her into having a threesome with me. She, alas, resisted. This frustrated me and I sought advice. One guy gave me some golden advice.
To paraphrase his words, “One of the worst things you can do when trying to get a woman to have a threesome with you is ASSUMING that it is a big deal. Instead assume it is NO BIG DEAL, and a lot of fun. Pitch the idea to her the same way, for example, you would suggest that it would be fun for the two of you to get ice cream.”
These words apply to more than having threesomes with women. Whatever your intended outcome with
a woman is – whether it is, for example, getting her number, getting her to go on a date with you, or getting her back to your house – ASSUME IT’S NO BIG DEAL, and a lot of fun.
Women are like professional psychics when it comes to picking up on when MEN ASSUME that something is a big deal. Even if we don’t explicitly communicate that we think something is a big deal, women
somehow always intuitively know. I have a female friend of mine who told me that she always knows when a guy is scared to kiss her. “When a man thinks it is a big deal to kiss a girl he unconsciously displays all sorts of nervous and indecisive body movements conveying his fear,” she told me.
Assuming that something is a big deal can stifle your chances of achieving your intended outcome in two ways.
One is that by doing this you are lowering your perceived value in her eyes. She will stop seeing you as a PRIZE to be won over. When you ASSUME, for example, that it is a really big deal to ask for a girl’s number, it conveys to her that she is of higher of value than you. By doing this you are, unknowingly, ESTABLISHING that she is the PRIZE to be won over, not you.
Two is that when women intuit you assuming that something is a big deal, they begin to believe it is a big deal as well. How women feel about doing something with you is oftentimes a mirror image of how you feel about doing something with them. If you are nervous, they will become nervous too. If you, for example, ASSUME getting a woman to go out with you is a big deal, she will pick up on your nervous energy and feel the same way.
When you, however, ASSUME that achieving your intended outcome with a woman is NO BIG DEAL, your perceived value in her eyes will increase. Furthermore, ASSUMING that your intended outcome is NO BIG DEAL will often times put a woman at ease making her assume that your intended outcome is no big deal. When you have perceived value in a woman’s eyes and she construes your intended outcome as no big deal, it makes it very easy to get what you want.
There have been women I have slept with after only knowing them for a short amount of time – in some
cases, as short as twenty five minutes! I was able to do this because I ASSUMED it was no big deal, and a lot of fun.
Also, if a woman puts up resistance when trying to kiss her, DON’T become distraught. Instead, keep your composure by ASSUMING it to be no big deal. Then, try again a few minutes later using my physical push-pull technique from my book.
Of course having the mindset that achieving your intended outcome is no big deal is easier to achieve if you have the skill sets for both establishing yourself as the PRIZE and creating the emotion inside a woman of her wanting, reaching, chasing for more of you.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Josh Lubens Swinggcat, author of Real World Seduction, is a professional dating coach and pick up artist. He has created and popularized numerous attraction techniques, such as, Prizing, Push-Push, Meta-Frames and Sexual Frames. His system advocates sexually escalating with and gaining sexual compliance from women within the first few minutes of meeting them. Check out Real World Seduction.