Start a new list entitled "Affirmations”. Go over your list of negative beliefs, and for each one, create a positive statement to counteract it. Include a reference from your life if possible. It’s important that you follow these rules:
• make sure it’s positive – "I am not shy” won’t work too well
• make it first person – "I this, I that” rather than "People this, women that, men …”
• make it present tense – "I am confident” rather than "I will be confident”
• make sure it’s something you control – not "I date more often than Frank does”
• try to include rich sensory imagery, powerful emotional anchors, and references
• I easily talk to anyone I have a desire to meet. I am clever and witty and relaxed.
• I have immense courage. I overcome any fears.
• I’m fit and attractive. I keep my body in great shape.
• I remember to compliment people and to show I appreciate them.
• I am happy with myself, regardless of what other people think.
Right now you’re probably asking yourself, "So why am I telling myself all this stuff that obviously isn’t true?” Remember, your own thoughts are part of the input your brain takes in, and it doesn’t question anything, it just processes and stores everything. At first your beliefs will reject these statements, but with enough consistency, repetition and references, your beliefs will eventually change. Studies show it takes about a month of daily repetition, but that depends on how often you go over your affirmations. The best thing to do would be to print them out on a card and keep them with you during the day, and just read over them whenever you get the chance. As you read them, imagine how good it will feel to be that way; really get into it.
Within one month of implementing this technique, the author of the book I got this from went from hiding behind plants at parties to dating regularly. He is now in his second marriage and makes his living as an author and motivational speaker.
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.