Being “The Man” in Bed
Below is some decent seduction advice from Derek Vitalio. It is not one of his best articles, but it gives some good tips on bedroom tactics. He talks about smelling the girl, which David DeAngelo endorses, and I can highly endorse as well. I’ve been using the tactic lately and it really drives girls wild. So for more free advice on the art of seduction keep reading…
Most men get stuck pushing attraction into action. If you use the techniques and theories below, you should never have that problem again. Even resistance can be used to your advantage in the long run.
Have Trust and Attraction First
Youâ€™ve established rapport and trust with your girl. Good.
Youâ€™ve isolated her and youâ€™re in a private place where you donâ€™t have friendâ€™s eyes or drunk interruptions to worry about. Very good.
You want to kick things up a notch. You want some nookie.
Weâ€™ve gone over a few methods, but itâ€™s time to get some more. Time for some POWERFUL tools. You ready?
The Smell to Sex Accelerator
First, Iâ€™ve got for you the smell to sex accelerator. Howâ€™s this one work? Simple. Smell her shoulders.
Again, the lady needs to be comfortable. You need to be close to the kiss, but just looking for that extra nudge to get things rolling. Rare is the lady whoâ€™ll take charge, and lots of guys freeze up here, fearing an attempted kiss too early will kill their chances (not that thatâ€™s necessarily true, but itâ€™s certainly the prevailing belief).
So to ease over that edge, get up or lean over and smell her shoulders. Not like a bloodhound. Not like youâ€™ve got a cold. Just breath deep â€“ silently but strongly â€“ and take in her scent. Do it a few minutes.
After that, start smelling a little further up â€“ around her neck, then her ears. Chances are good the girl will be going wild by now. Sheâ€™ll be trying to stay cool but getting REALLY hot and bothered. She might grab you for a kiss.
If she hasnâ€™t put the iron man hold on the back of your neck, then lean in to that kiss â€“ maybe brush your lips â€“ but then pull away with a smile and smell her just a little bit more.
Sheâ€™ll go crazy.
Whereâ€™s this from?
Why does this work anyway? I mean, SMELLING a girl, that sounds kind ofâ€¦ what, fetish like.
Nah. Truth is, youâ€™d like it too. For one thing, itâ€™s part of the mating dance in our section of the animal kingdom. Back when it meant something, a male would smell to see if the woman was in heat. Heâ€™d inspect with his nose â€“ make sure she didnâ€™t have any infections or injuries.
It all led to sex.
We donâ€™t do that anymore, but the programming remains in us, closer to the surface than you think. Think nonverbal sexual cues.
Another thing which gets women excited when you do this is the feel of your warm breath on her skin. Think about it, thatâ€™s a pretty stimulating thing. Itâ€™ll get a rise out of anyone.
Ever notice how, if youâ€™re ticklish, those sensitive regions become highly erogenous during sex? How you donâ€™t laugh anymore, but you just get hot? This is very similar.
If youâ€™re uncomfortable or scared, their breath on your neck will freak you out (hell, just a breeze on the neck can do it). But if you feel safe and youâ€™re with someone you trust, itâ€™s just a great great feeling. And a damn sexy one.
If she starts to moan, donâ€™t be shocked.
From Questions to Kisses
Now earlier we talked about the â€œWould you like to kiss me now?â€ question, and that can work both with or without smelling. (If you need a reminder: if she says anything but â€œnoâ€ you kiss her. If you get a â€œnoâ€ respond with â€œI didnâ€™t say you could â€“ you just looked like you had something on your mind.)
Hereâ€™s another one that works well. While being nice and intimate â€“ personally, I like to get a girl sitting on my lap as soon as possible, stroking her inner thighs â€“ you can ask her what kind of man she likes. A take-charge guy, a sensitive guy, whatâ€™s she really go for?
Then, after a DELAY (and this is crucial, or youâ€™ll come off as a kiss-ass) act accordingly. So if she likes the take-charge guy, you simply take her cheek, aim her lips, and powerfully kiss them.
Once the mood is set, if she likes the leading type, you HAVE TO take control. She wonâ€™t respect you otherwise â€“ and she certainly wonâ€™t sleep with you.
On the other hand, if she likes the sensitive type, you can then ask more questions about that. What is it she likes about that? Have her walk you through an incredible sensual experience that left a mark.
This is good, because youâ€™re actually guiding her to feel the same emotions again, in an echo affect. Only this time, she feels them while YOU are the one touching her.
After sheâ€™s finished, you say something like â€œLetâ€™s see if we can beat that.â€ and then give her a soulful kiss.
Recovering from a premature kiss attempt
Now, if you try one of the three methods Iâ€™ve described and it doesnâ€™t work, you need to take your time before you make another attempt. You donâ€™t want to come off as a sleaze who only wants in her pants.
Youâ€™ll need to rebuild the vibe, amp up her attraction again. Make sure you bring her further along the next time, and then, when youâ€™re sure the kiss is rightâ€¦ tease her a little more. Brush the lips. If youâ€™ve kissed once but she resisted BUT sheâ€™s still interested in chilling with you, that means she DOES want to kiss. It was just too early. But if youâ€™ve given her the pretty obvious signal that youâ€™re open to it, sheâ€™s MORE likely to make a move herself, if youâ€™ve brought her attraction to unbearable levels.
In fact, if she resists a little but not in a negative way, lean back and enjoy the game. Because sheâ€™ll be worried that she just screwed up, and you can dial up the tension using that knowledge.
Dealing with Awkwardness
Of course, sometimes you go for the kiss, get resistance, and everything gets awkward. Or it can simply be an awkward pause in regular conversation. You get stuck.
Thereâ€™s an easy way out of that. Say something like â€œYou know, Iâ€™ve noticed something about you, and I bet itâ€™s something know one else has ever told you â€“ if theyâ€™ve even seen it.â€
This will pique her curiosity and sheâ€™ll bug you to tell her. Donâ€™t. Immediately move on to another subject, and whenever she brings it up, tease her for being so nosy or pushy (remember to stay playful though).
Eventually you can tell herâ€¦ or you can string her along for another night. You can say you donâ€™t know her well enough yet. You can say you donâ€™t think she can handle it. Have fun here. The main thing is, it gives you a playful topic for the rest of the night, or beyond.
Someday, of course, you should tell her. It doesnâ€™t have to be extremely profound â€“ but that helps. If you donâ€™t have anything real youâ€™ve noticed, you can use blanket statements that are true of most people, but that few talk about. Like â€œYou put on a brave face, but I bet when you let your guard down you are a much sweeter and sometimes lonely person.â€ This sort of thing works wonders. At this point in your learning, moving to the physical shouldnâ€™t be a problem for you ever again.
If you want to kick your seduction skills up a notch or two, check out my series Nonverbal Sexual Cuing, available in Ebook and Audio CD format. In it you will learn all my body language secrets of nonverbal seduction.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
We respect your email privacy
About MikeStoute Michael Stoute here, and at your service. I am a writer/editor/lover and a fighter. My words are weapons of wisdom so watch out, you may learn something...or better yet, maybe you can teach me something! Have a question? Please try to leave it in the comments, it will get a faster response than an email. Otherwise, Email Me