The Art of Small Talk
The article below is about general small talk, but can easily be applied
to the science of picking up and seducing women. I have always had a
problem making small talk, which is one of the reason I included this
article on the site. If small talk is not your problem then click here
to learn how to get laid now.
Conversations, Small Talk and the Secret to Making Friends
by Peter Murphy
Small talk is often dreaded many people. It is seen as the awkward part of all conversations. Small talk comes before
a drawn out conversation or is just a small conversation in itself.
Small talk doesn’t require witty stories or much detail,
actually. Most people see small talk as something you do
like a friendly hello or to take up time before interesting
conversations comes along.
In reality small talk can be interesting, it does not have
to be just to pass the time and it definitely does not have
to be uncomfortable.
The following tips outline some great pointers for how to
make small talk less of a chore and more fun. You will find
information on what to say, how to ease your nerves and
above all, how to keep small talk from getting out of
1. Set a comfortable tone.
You do not want to give off the feeling that you are
uncomfortable with the conversations you have. You should
take control of the conversation, initiate topics and keep
If you sense the other person is uncomfortable then you
should try changing the topic or letting them take over the
conversation. The whole idea is that small talk should not
feel odd or awkward.
It is very much like fishing. Keep throwing out ideas and
thoughts until the other person is drawn in. If you have
several potential topics in mind before you begin it is
much easier to jump to a new one if you need to.
This helps to avoid awkward situations and getting stuck
for words. There really is no need to get stuck like that –
the secret is adequate preparation.
2. Start out conversations by talking about something
If you happen to run into an old friend in the store and
she has a new baby, then comment on the baby. If you are
meeting someone for the first time and trying to strike up
a conversation then look for something about them to talk
For example, if they are wearing a shirt with a cute saying
or picture, comment on that. Most people find it easy to
talk about themselves, so that is why this is a great place
And to demonstrate that you really are interested in the
other person look for details you can comment on. So
instead of saying “nice tie” you might comment on the
beautiful texture of the material
3. Ask questions to keep conversations flowing.
Try not to ask the same type of question over and over. For
example, do not keep asking why questions. Mix it up a
little and use them all: who, what, when, where, why and
how. Keep your conversation questions interesting too.
Try to avoid the mundane questions like, “Where are you
living now?” or “What have you been up too?”. These worn
out questions can make a person believe you would rather
not be having a conversation with them, but you are because
it would be rude to just walk away.
Bear in mind that whoever is asking the questions is
directing the conversation i.e. not whoever is talking the
most. When you make a point of being a good listener and
you ask great questions most people will thoroughly enjoy
spending time with you.
4. Use a good topic to base your conversations around.
The main things people talk about during small talk are:
family, occupation, hobbies, and anything they are
Starting out asking about a question regarding one of these
topics will get the other person talking. You can ask
questions and get great feedback. Starting out with
something they know about will ensure you get them talking.
Keep it light and avoid serious or controversial topics.
Remember the goal of small talk is to establish a
connection not to solve the problems of the world. That can
wait until another day.
5. Remember to keep conversations short.
Nothing is worse than a small talk session dragging out
into a full blown hour long conversation. Most people have
something else on their agenda when they begin in small
talk, so keep that in mind.
If you are really interested in what they are saying and
wish you could talk longer then get their email address or
phone number and continue the conversation later.
Following these pointers will help you be able to carry on
effective and interesting small talk conversations. You can
avoid those strange periods of silence where you never
quite know what to say.
You will also be able to make the other person feel good
about your conversation. Small talk can be a good time. You
just have to know the right way to do it.
If you want to improve your professional and social
standing, learn to communicate efficiently and in a
positive manner. You will notice a dramatic difference in
the way other people perceive you if you demonstrate
self-confidence and project a friendly, informed image.
Thanks for reading this article, I hope it helps you. Remember
the only way to get better is to practice. If you need a game plan
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About MikeStoute Michael Stoute here, and at your service. I am a writer/editor/lover and a fighter. My words are weapons of wisdom so watch out, you may learn something...or better yet, maybe you can teach me something! Have a question? Please try to leave it in the comments, it will get a faster response than an email. Otherwise, Email Me