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Small Talk Secrets

guy making small talk with a woman

20 Ideas for Making Small Talk with Women

When it comes to talking to women, it seems one of the hardest aspects for men is making small talk.  While most of you can probably make small talk… the question is… can you make small talk fun, playful, and sexy?

Or do you just wind up boring the woman?

Let’s take the time right now to really break down the art of small talk, and really figure how to make small talk exciting and attractive-rather than dull and boring.

Let’s understand:

1.  What type of small talk women find boring

And then

2.  What type of small talk women find fun

With this approach it will help us gain some understanding of the criteria that is most important.  And then I can give you some good small talk tips.

1. What bores women?

A.) Any type of small talk that seems forced or awkward is a really big turn off for women.  Women don’t like awkwardness.  And if a woman senses that you’re shy, nervous, or insecure around you, she is likely not going to invest in the conversation.  And if she isn’t interested in keeping the conversation going… it will make your job much harder.

B.) Women hate “interview style” small talk.  “Interview style” small talk is when you just continually ask a woman a series of questions about her job, school, family, hometown, ect.  This gets boring fast.  This type of small talk is especially boring if she senses that you’re not even listening to her answers.  There is nothing worse than someone who is just asking questions because he can’t think of any other way to keep the conversation going.

C.) One of the worst things you can do during small talk is to let there be a series of uncomfortable silences.  Brief silence from time to time is ok.  But if you hear birds chirping during your conversations with women… chances are she is getting bored.  You must be able to keep a conversation going if you want to make small talk that attracts women.

D.) You also want to avoid small talk topics that could lead to unnecessary ill feelings.  While a little playful “banter” with a woman is fine… Small talk topics like religion or politics might wind up stirring up some ill feelings that could have easily been avoided if you stick to some of the conversation topics we’ll talk about in the next section.

Understanding these issues, you really can’t blame for not wanting a weak, insecure, inexperienced, boring, or disheveled man who can’t keep a conversation interested.  Ask yourself… do you enjoy this type of conversation?

Now let’s talk about…

2.  What do women find interesting?

A.) Women love small talk that involves conversation topics that they find interesting.  I’ve identified 12 conversation topics that work best for connecting with a woman.  Some of these topics include music, food, childhood memories, observations about her, and traveling.  If you want to read more about this, read this article on the best conversation topics.

B.) The best way to keep a conversation interesting is to draw out emotions out of the woman you’re talking to.  Woman love feeling emotions.  This is why topics like traveling, childhood memories, and music work really well for making small talk.  Because these topics tend to lead a woman into an emotional state.  It is much easier to connect with someone when the both of you are in a highly charged emotional state.

C.) The best type of small talk is when the conversation stays “in the moment.”  This means that you’re laughing and making jokes about what is currently going on around you.  This is because it identifies the two of you are connecting.  You can stay in the moment by making observations about your surroundings.  Or you can stay in the moment by making observations about her.  Remember, women love talking about themselves.

D.) If you really want to make women enjoy small talk with you… you want to make sure that you appear relaxed, confident, and playful.  You also want to try to make sure that you’re the one leading the conversation along.  Women like men who take control.  They don’t want the burden of keeping the conversation going.

F.) Another good tactic for keeping small talk interesting is to tell good stories.  A good story will interest just about anyone you’re talking to. So instead of just reciting facts, tell stories that evoke emotions.

What are some examples of good small talk.

Most guys don’t know how to start a conversation, and then make small talk in a way that creates attraction in a woman.  Instead, most guys do the complete opposite.  They make conversation that bores the woman and has her searching for the next guy to talk to.

I have coached enough guys to know that most guys will freeze up in front of a beautiful woman.  Or, they will get so nervous that they come across as completely insecure and boring.

Women expect a man to be able to guide the conversation along in a fun, flirty, and playful way.

In brief, the art of small talk involves being fun, playful, and flirtatious.  And below I’m going to give you 20 ways to do this.

20 ideas for making small talk fun, playful, and flirtatious

1.  When talking to women, focus on making statements and expressing opinions rather that just asking her a bunch of questions.

2.  Focus a good chunk of the conversation on her.  Make observations about her sense of style, traits of her personality, or your initial impression of her.

3.  Don’t use “compliments” as a means to keep the conversation going.  Excessively complimenting a woman because you can’t think of anything else to say will not impress her.  It will bore her.

4.  Find little games to play in your conversation.  In my free report, Small Talk Tactics, I list three really good games you can play with women.

5.  Keep the topics of conversation focused on things like childhood memories, observations, travel, unusual stories, or interests and passions.

6.  Flirt.  Learn how to banter with a woman.  This makes the small talk incredible sexy.

7.  Try to be a little cock and funny.

8.  If you run out of things to say, and face awkward silence… instead of pretending it isn’t happening, simply make a joke like “wow, we just had our first uncomfortable silence… don’t worry, we’ll get through it.”

9.  Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion and disagree with her.  It is better that you express your personality.

10.  Tell her engaging stories.  Women like drama, emotions, and intrigue.  Learn to tell a story in a way that captures her attention.

11.  Don’t treat small talk like a job interview.  Instead, be relaxed and playful.

12.  Use cold reading techniques.  This is a great way to make observations about her.  One of the best is the Strawberry Fields Routine.

13.  If you’re new to this, and don’t know what to say, don’t be afraid to use canned pua routines.  Eventually you’ll want to make up your own though.

14.  Avoid complimenting a woman on her looks, eyes, or body.

15.  Compliment a woman on her personality, her sense of style, or her “energy”

16.  If the two of you are having a good time, don’t be afraid to introduce elements of sexuality into a conversation.

17.  Tease her.

18.  Don’t be afraid to call a woman out on her bullshit.  If she is saying something that is obviously not true… call her out on it.  It will impress her that you picked up on it.

19.  Use “role playing” to keep a conversation fun.  This is a technique that I talk about in the Small Talk Tactics report.

20.  Never apologize for your desire as a man. If you’re talking to a woman, and you’re attracted to her in a sexual way… don’t be afraid to let her know.  It will keep you out of the friend zone, and it will make the small talk much more interesting.

So, there you have 20 ways to make small talk more fun, interesting, and playful.

I highly recommend you check out Make Small Talk Sexy where I can go further in depth into what kind of games to play with women, how to use cold reading and role plays, and how to make small talk fun, playful, and flirtatious.

Here is another article related to the subject:

7 Deadly Conversation and Small Talk Mistakes



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