How to Make the First Approach with Women
How To Make The First Approach With Women
Like it or not, it is men who generally have to make
the first move in the human mating ritual. Some men
feel that this is unfair and may argue that they have
to do all the work while women merely stand there,
wait for the approaching males and take their pick.
They can then choose to either allow men the privilege
of a little time in their company or simply reject
them. I see that as looking at things from a negative
Another way for a man to look at things is that it
puts you in the position of power. Yes, that’s right,
you are the one calling the shots. Why? Well, put
yourself in a woman’s position for a moment. Imagine
that the girl of your dreams was just across the room,
but you were prevented from approaching them by social
protocol. As much as you wanted to, you could only
send discreet signals to this girl and hope that she
was not too shy to approach you. If she did not
approach, for whatever reason, you would never know
why not. Was she shy, did she not pick up your signals
or was she simply not interested?
This is not a powerful position to be in and, take it
from me, it can be a very frustrating one. You are the
lucky ones, guys. You hold all the cards. You are the
hunter and can choose your prey rather than wait
forever for the approach to come. Your destiny is in
your own hands. You can make your choice and move
forward for the approach. This is natural. It is what
is expected of you by society. It is what women want.
Count your blessings you are in control.
Even if you do get turned down, at least you are out
of your misery and can move on. I know women who have
waited months, even years, for an approach that they
thought was imminent, before giving up.
Many men suffer nightmares about actually approaching
a girl. This is understandable in some respects, I
suppose. You are in the spotlight at these times and
are expected to get out there and perform. But it is
not all bad. As discussed above, you are actually in
control. So what if you have to live with a bit of
Some useful tips to initiate conversations are listed
1. Wait until she brushes behind you, then turn to
her as if your ass has been pinched and playfully say
something like, Hey! Do you mind?
2. Make a note of the color of her drink and get
one with the same or similar color for yourself.
Position yourself near to her and put your drink next
to hers. You can then pretend to pick up her drink by
mistake. When she realizes your error, you can be very
apologetic and offer to order her another drink, thus
a conversation is initiated.
3. Time your approach to the bar just before hers.
Indicate to the barman that he should serve her first,
then make a remark like, The art of chivalry is still
alive and kicking in this bar. Your gesture should
ensure a positive response and improve your chances of
a successful approach.
Another technique a good friend swears by is to get a
bit of mileage out of her profession. You should have
something prepared for when you find out what she does
for a living. You will find that most people fall into
a small number of professions, so you can easily
categorize these and prepare some lines. You should
think of some tame ones for the cautious woman and
some more risky ones for the more adventurous woman.
For a complete book on exactly what to say when approaching
women their is nothing better than THE ART OF APPROACHING.
About MikeStoute Michael Stoute here, and at your service. I am a writer/editor/lover and a fighter. My words are weapons of wisdom so watch out, you may learn something...or better yet, maybe you can teach me something! Have a question? Please try to leave it in the comments, it will get a faster response than an email. Otherwise, Email Me