Mystery on Valentine’s Day Game
Late Valentine’s Day Issue!
1. Valentine’s Day
A recent survey of women worldwide found that, Valentine’s Day is the most important holiday of the year, after Christmas. There are millions of ways to go wrong or right on V-Day. Let’s get straight to the facts.
If you are NOT involved with her (anything up to S1)
Do not contact her on V-Day. Do not send flowers, anonymous or not. Go dark
At some point in the near future, feel free to tell a funny story about something that happened when you were out with a friend on Tuesday. Make sure it sounds romantic, something that she would want to have done.
However, make that the background to the story. A woman taking off her shoes to dance and then seeing them slide over the deck into the water (make it funny) while you and friend went on a dinner/cruise of the harbor works. A dry recitation of we did this and then we did that will be either transparent or brand you as a player.
Dont ask her what she did on Tuesday or Valentine’s Day. Assume that she was either alone or with a lesser man. Don’t react or be interested.
Go out and meet women! Women who go out on V-Day are looking for romance and to feel better about themselves. Run game. Prepare to handle shit tests like Why aren’t you with someone tonight? and Why don’t you have a girlfriend. An okay all-purpose answer to these is to say because I just MET you, silly and continue on with whatever you were talking about before.
Don’t get drunk and get tempted to call someone you wish you were with.
If you are SOMEWHAT involved with her (physical escalation but not boyfriend-girlfriend)
This is trickiest one. V-Day is great for women because it’s the moment when guys usually have to reveal their hands. If you’ve been casually flirting, playing hard to get, etc. and then ask her out for V-Day, then you,ve given it away. At that point, unless she’s equally into you, she knows she can have you and is more likely to now be bored with the whole process and with you. Yes, that sucks. No, it doesn’t mean she’s a bitch. People want what they can’t have, and women and relationships are no exception. On the other hand, if she’s into you and you don’t offer to make plans you may be discarded for someone who does.
The best bet here is to go out with a mixed group (either a group of singles, or include some couples once they’ve done the V-Day stuff together) and invite her to tag along. Keeps it nice and ambiguous.
If she is your one and only a serious girlfriend
There’s no way around this. Make the day special for her. Throw out all of the ideas in your head about not paying for dates, not getting in the traditional frame, etc.
Send her flowers. Best to send them somewhere she can show them off to her friends. V-Day for women is in part a who has the best boyfriend competition. So send flowers to her work if that’s appropriate, or to her apartment if she has a few roommates.
Don’t send roses. Be creative. But make it nice.
Do every inch of the traditional date. This is the one time a year when you do this. I’m assuming in this that you DID read the header and she IS your girlfriend. You guys are close, passionate, have been dating for a while, there’s no major jealousy plotlines, etc
So..show up dressed nicely (even in a suit). Make sure your car is clean. Have already made reservations somewhere nice. Then do something exciting afterwards. Then enjoy how grateful she is.
If you have multiple girlfriends in the same city (and they aren’t cool with sharing)
Get out of town. I’m serious. There’s no way a self-respecting woman of the type of quality we are looking for sees a guy once or twice a week at least, sleeps with him, and doesn’t get to spend time with him on V-Day.
Business-trip, family emergency, whatever it is. Leave before Tuesday and don’t come back on Wednesday. That’s too obvious. Disappear for at least a couple of days. Or at least say you’re out of town.
Send flowers to ALL of them and call ALL of them.
Do NOT order all of your flowers from the same place. A friend of mine got busted for this once. He sent anonymous flowers (don’t do that either), and the recipient, having female curiosity, called the company to try to find out who had sent them. The company didn’t tell her, but their receptionist did say that the same person had sent the same arrangement to three other people.
Some of this also applies if you have women you are seeing in other cities too.
Whatever your situation
Send flowers to your mom. And your daughters if you have them. Even if you live with them. If you need me to explain why, you have bigger problems than meeting women. Just trust me on this one.
OK, cool? If you’re single or casually dating, V-Day is a giant, societally-imposed artificial break point in the normal evolution of relationships. It is not your friend. Try to make the best of it. On the plus side, if you are single, women are incredibly easy to meet.
2. Mystery Method for older Professionals
Sometimes people ask whether the Mystery Method works as well outside of clubs or for older men. And here is where it is very important to distinguish between Mystery the person and Mystery Method the methodology, and to discuss the appropriate use of routines or memorized stories.
Mystery enjoys nightclubs and has dated many women in their early 20s. He likes a party lifestyle and to express his personality confidently. He has developed, out of his own experience, hundreds of stories and conversation-starters that express this personality and attract the type of women in whom he is interested.
It is a big mistake to copy these blindly. Many people who follow MM but who have never been to a bootcamp try their best to copy Mystery or another MM instructor, thinking that they will get the same results. It doesn’t happen like that. At bootcamps we do teach a few routines, but it’s so that every student can understand WHAT a good routine sounds like, WHAT TO E XPECT from a girl when a routine works (and when it doesn’t), and, most importantly, HOW to make an infinite number of routines that express your own unique personality and goals. We spend a lot of time at bootcamps teaching each student how to express their own unique personality, not how to copy Mystery.
So, if you are 50 and a senior partner at a law firm, repeating Mystery’s story about how he moved to Hollywood to follow his dream of becoming a professional illusionist would make you look silly. It wouldn’t work.
But here’s the thing none of the rest of us use these routines either! Every Mystery Method instructor was once a former student (so anything they can do, you can do, with a bit of coaching). And we all have our unique stories, that genuinely reflect both our personalities and the type of women in whom we are interested. Sinn is great with outgoing college students. Matador projects a unique mix of confidence and a challenge that gets slightly older alpha females interested. Sinn doesn’t use Matador’s material and vice versa.
However, we all use Myster’s METHOD. That’s the stuff that I’ve given you an introduction to, in the earlier issues of the OAP. The complete reference manual to the Mystery Method is of course the Venusian Arts Handbook, or, if you prefer to watch instead of read, the Video Archive Encyclopedia (they’re also designed to be used together). From the basic ideas like Attract -> Build Comfort -> Seduce to advanced concepts like cat theory, forward and backward merging, and last-minute resistance, the Mystery Method forms the foundation of everything we do. Because it works. (It works, in case you are interested, because it draws on peoples evolutionary-programmed responses to specific social situations it’s unique to humanity and human evolution, but not unique to any particular culture or age group).
For more details on this, check out the Elle Magazine article in our media section, where the writer (who didn’t particularly like us or write a very flattering story but we posted it anyway, since we don’t shy away from controversy) interviewed several world-famous experts in psychology, evolutionary behavior, and human sexuality. They all admitted that most people do follow pre-set rules of social interactions as Mystery identified, and that skillful men can use these to succeed with women.
Bringing this all home, if you have an intense, professional career, you are clearly not going to paint your nails black, wear a top hat, and follow Mystery around talking about partying with celebrities. You might look more like Savoy or Samurai, who would wear a fashionable suit, trendy accessories, and at least one object that is calculated to draw women’s attention. I’ve seen Savoy wear a fedora. Or sometimes just a discreet neck chain with a fleur-de-lys on the end, which is a symbol that has a lot of meaning for him. Or an overly large, but not gaudy, watch. Note to Savoy: If I get another text message from you about your U-Boat watch, I’m going to do something very evil.
But fashion is only one small part of it. Now that you’ve got a womans attention, you need to go somewhere with it. You need your routines and an identity. For most men, the older they get, the more they are defined by their jobs. It becomes a lot more effort to keep up with hobbies and old friends. Guys this makes you BORING. Unless your job is a record label owner or something, it will only take you so far in conversation. So, challenge yourself to take up hobbies, preferably ones that will allow you to meet and/or intrigue the type of women in whom you are interested.
Quick quiz: does your ideal woman date Joe the Accounts Payable manager? Or does she date Joe the mountain climber or Joe the travel writer? It doesn’t have to be your day job. It can be a hobby, but if you make it part of your identity, you can use it.
You also need to be more adventurous. Meeting women in clubs is easy, because there are millions of clubs and millions of women in them. If you’re not going out to clubs, you need to be very disciplined about taking advantage of opportunities. Always look and feel your best, because you never know. 9 times out of 10, there won’t be an attractive woman in the elevator or at the newsstand where you get your morning paper. But if you look like you just rolled out of bed (and are not in meeting women mode), the 1 time out of 10 that she is there, will be wasted.
And, of course, when she is there, you have to talk to her. In a club, you can easily do 15 approaches in a night. Doing this 3 nights out a week will give you about 500 approaches in 2 months. That’s enough to start developing some decent social intuition and see reoccurring patterns (which is when the game becomes A LOT easier, since you’re not dealing with a totally new conversation every time). If you do only 1 approach per day, instead of getting to this level in 2 months, you’ll need a year and a half. And that’s just to get up to a decent starting point, when you can start absorbing and really using these advanced tactics.
So, moral of the story is, if you’re not going to get your practice done in clubs, make sure you have a plan to practice elsewhere. In the airport lounge. At a coffee shop. In a restaurant. At a party. At a book store. In the park. Wherever. You’ll notice that in your living room was not on this list. You likely won’t meet that many women there (or, if you do, invite me over for drinks sometime). So get dressed, get out of your house, and meet women. There is no substitute for practice. Over and over and over. That’s how we got good.
If you don’t already own Mystery’s Venusian Arts Handbook, do yourself a favor and
buy it now. It truly gets the Seduction Bible’s highest seal of approval.
About MikeStoute Michael Stoute here, and at your service. I am a writer/editor/lover and a fighter. My words are weapons of wisdom so watch out, you may learn something...or better yet, maybe you can teach me something! Have a question? Please try to leave it in the comments, it will get a faster response than an email. Otherwise, Email Me