The Secret to Meeting Girls
Here is a good little article by Joseph Mathews, author of
THE ART OF APPROACHING.
Back in the day when I was a lonely, clueless loser who’d spend his
weeknights sitting hunched over the computer viewing internet porn
instead of interacting with society, I used to wonder: “How do
people meet each other?”
To me, this question was on the same level as “Which came first,
the chicken or the egg?” and “If a tree falls in the forest with no
one around, does it make a sound?” It was basically a question one
could never truly know the answer to. Though, every time I would
go out in public and see guy after guy with their girlfriends and
wives, I would be reminded of this question.
How do people meet each other?
Or more specifically, how do guys meet women? What does everyone
else know that I don’t? Why am I alone and they are with somebody?
What is the secret?
Once I decided to take control of my life and make a concerted
effort to meet women, I discovered the secret. And it’s a secret
that’s so simple, so obvious, that I wonder why I didn’t know it
before. Some of you out there reading this probably already know
the secret, some might be like I was and not be aware of it. But
when you hear it, this secret will make perfect sense. So are you
ready to hear it? The secret to meeting other people is…
You talk to them.
Was I right? Is it obvious? I know it may seem rather simplistic,
but this is probably the single most important notion there is when
it comes to getting a girlfriend/wife/booty call, or what have you.
If you do not talk to someone, you will never MEET them.
And you can’t have a relationship with someone you never meet.
The simple act of talking to a woman can lead to so many different
–You get a glimpse into her personality
–You find out what you two have in common
–You get to see if there’s any chemistry between the two of you
–You give yourself an opening to get her contact information
–You establish a level of trust and comfort that will allow you to
ask her out later on
All this from the simple act of moving your mouth and having words
It is because of this concept that I wrote my book, The Art Of
Approaching, because there is so much to know about meeting women.
You can talk to them, but what if they don’t respond favorably?
What if you run out of stuff to talk about? What if you can’t even
think of something to talk about at all?
This is where the concept of the “opener” comes in.
I’ve talk about openers in other newsletters before, and I go into
extreme detail about them in my book. But having a good opener is
too important a concept just to let it go mentioned once or twice.
Without a good opener to use when meeting a woman, you’re really
rolling the dice and taking a chance that what you say to her
1. Get her to talk to you
2. Engage her in conversation
Maybe what you say will get her to respond with a “Yes or no”
answer. If that’s the case, where do you go from there?
Maybe what you have to say will get her to explain something to
you, but will it really engage her in conversation? Will she
continue to talk to you so you can establish that “trust and
comfort” foundation you’ll need to get her information?
These are the factors you have to take into account when you go
about meeting a woman. Here are some examples of openers you want
“Do you know where X is?”
“Do I know you from somewhere?”
“That’s a nice X you’re wearing.”
“Do you come here often?”
The list goes on. But if you look at all those statements above,
they don’t really lead anywhere. They’re not engaging, they’re not
interesting, and they will not help you get to know the woman
you’re talking to any better.
Here’s a good opener for you to “test out” this weekend or whenever
you’re going out next. When you see a girl you like and want to
meet, walk up to her and ask:
“Hey, I got a quick question. Do you read your horoscope?”
See how this opener differs from the ones above? You’re not asking
her an ordinary question she hears a million times a day, and
there’s an intriguing element to it. Most women are interested in
horoscopes and other new-agey stuff, so even if they DON’T read
their horoscope, they may be interested in why you’re asking the
If she says YES, it is easy to ask her what her sign is and what
her horoscope is telling her. This is great because she will be
giving you information about herself that you can use to your
advantage in the conversation.
If she says NO, ask her if she’s ever checked her horoscope before
and then ask her what her sign is.
No matter what she says, always follow up with “Hmmm. That’s
When she asks “Why?” say “Well, I don’t want you to take this the
wrong way, but you know what they say about Pisces (or Aries, or
Scorpio, or whatever her sign is)?”
By now she’ll be really interested. Follow up by saying “Pisces
(Aries, etc.) women are the most sexual women out there.”
Watch her reaction, and then follow up with a story to get the
conversation flowing. Here’s one I use:
“I know this because my ex girlfriend was a Pisces (Aries,
whatever), and she was the most sexual woman you’ll ever meet. We
used to have so much fun together, doing all sorts of wild things,
she was totally open to doing anything. I used to think it was
just her, but every Pisces woman I’ve dated has always been really
fun and sexual. What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done?”
See how that works? You set it up so that you present her with a
role you want her to adopt (being sexual and fun and open to
anything), and show it in a positive light. And even if she
doesn’t agree with your assessment of her sign, you’re getting her
to share with you what wild stuff she HAS done.
Before you know it, you’re in a conversation!
Typically, you’ll want to have three good openers to use one after
another, all with follow-up stories to get the conversation flowing.
For the absolute best E-Book on openers, filled with exact ways to
start conversations click here.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.