How to Creep Her Out
Here is another Derek Vitalio article.
Creeping Her Out
We spend a lot of time making sure we aren’t put in the friend category. But an even worse mistake is to be thought a creep. There’s no recovery. So let’s define a creep and then make sure w’re not it.
The Two Bad Categories
I want you to think for a moment: what are the two categories of men that you want to stay out of, at all costs, if you’re going to have a chance with a lady?
Alright, one is easy: you CAN’T be a friend. We’ve talked about this a lot, and we’re not going to rehash all the strategies that work to keep out of that just a friend category, not today.
No, today we’re going to talk about the OTHER no-chance category you’ve GOT to avoid.
Have you got it yet?
Jerk? Nope. Wish it were so, but assholes get plenty of ladies.
Wimp? Oo, so close! Being wimpy VIRTUALLY guarantees you won’t get any action, but it’s not a 100% killer at least not until it segues into friend, which is where it goes.
And occasionally a guy acting like a wimp will find a shy insecure girl who NEEDS that sort of guy because he’s non-threatening, and she’s as desperate as he is, knows it, and doesn’t mind.
Rare, but it does happen. Interesting tangent: those couples usually wind up getting married, or at least dating for eight years, because both are terrified they’ll never have sex again. They MIGHT be right for each other but they just as easily might not. Don”t corner yourself like that.
So what’s the category that you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT fall into, or else your dead? Worse, you salt the earth surrounding the lady and might as well give up on her whole social scene and move on?
Once you’re a creep, you’re done. There’s just about no getting out of that hole. EVERYTHING you do will be seen through that lens, and your every action will seem perverted and disgusting to all but the most depraved women (ie used up porn stars and crack whores, not exactly your idea of a good time).
Being a creep is perhaps WORSE than being a friend. Which, by the way, is why so many more guys have the friend problem but we’ll get into that in a bit.
So what makes a guy a creep?
It’s pretty simple, really: a humorless (to all but the creep) lasciviousness that consumes all aspects of humanity save the reptilian pursuit of flesh. The edge that says This guy would rape me if it weren’t for this civilization thing we’ve built, and I STILL wouldn’t want to meet him in a hallway or alley.
Also the thought This guy doesn’t even know there’s a person standing here just a pair of breasts. Or Stop looking at me! Or the dreaded thought If he touches me ‘ll scream
I’m not saying that a guy IS that when a woman thinks him a creep just that that’s what she SEES.
Nor am I saying all cases are as advanced and serious as this one. Just that this is the prototypical creep.
So, what can we do to NOT be creeps?
To start with, look a woman in the EYES.
Not the breasts. Not the butt. In the EYES.
Eyes are very important for communication and connection \ it’s difficult to objectify a person if you talk to their eyes and not their body. So when you look at a woman’s eyes, you’re telling her that you SEE her, not just a collection of attractive lines. And that’s VERY important.
Also, DON’T check out other women while you’re talking to one. Unless you’re including her in the fun, or unless you’re going to act on it.
Flirtatious not sex-starved
There’s nothing wrong with being flirtatious, being flirtatious with many women, or letting a woman you’re interested in watch you flirt with other women.
What IS wrong is if she sees you constantly leering with drool dribbling down your chin.
In fact, just don’t leer. Leer is strictly a creep word if it can be used to describe anything you’re doing, you’ve got to change.
Ok, that’s pretty easy stuff. Time to get a bit more complex: sex.
BALANCE and HUMOR
So many guys are scared of sexual topics around women that they leave the field barren. They just avoid it.
That’s why a lot of the time I’m telling you NOT to be scared to talk about sex in a natural, honest and playful way.
Bottling up all your thoughts and feelings about sex is a sign of insecurity and/or inexperience. It’s not what you want to be showing a woman.
HOWEVER, a creep goes overboard.
He has a hard time talking about anything but sex. Everything ends as an overly lewd anecdote, an inappropriate innuendo, an awkward and uncomfortable situation.
He’s the guy making ride the moustache jokes to women who’ve just managed to squeeze out their name between hi and bye.
It’s ok to talk about sex, but you’ve got to stay RELAXED and PLAYFUL about it. When you push it too far, constantly bring the topic back to sex and there’s a certain unplaced strain to it when you’re not relaxed, but perhaps a bit manic you get creepy.
Likewise, when you’re overly suggestive and slick, the woman is going to feel pursued, and she’s going to run away from this creepy shyster.
You want to aim for cheeky, not creepy.
BALANCE and COMFORT
Now the same balancing act goes for touching. Most guys are so scared of inappropriate touching that they just keep their hands to themselves. Big mistake. You NEED touching to help spark PHYSICAL attraction, and to avoid being a friend. That’s what we usually stress here.
HOWEVER, a creep goes overboard.
While a balanced man will start with occasional natural gestures that allow for natural good contact and eventually build up to more intimate touching a creep starts WAY too intimate.
He’s liable to hold his contact for too long. Lean in farther and farther, even as she’s leaning away. Crowd her. Corner her. Grab her ass when she passes.
In short, the creep’ll feel more like a groper and aggressive ogler to a woman.
The successful guy is someone comfortable in his skin, and so she’s comfortable with him. The creep is only comfortable in hers.
That’s her thought.
Now the trick to all this is balance. You DON’T want to be a creep OR a friend, but at the same time you can’t be so scared of occasionally APPEARING that way that you’re frozen.
Don’t be frozen
It’s going to take some experimentation before you get your sexual conversation at a balanced level, and some time before your touching becomes natural and balanced as well.
And there’ll probably be some women along the way who put you into one category or another especially since different women have different standards, and THAT takes some time to judge and get right as well.
You’ve got to be willing to go through the learning curve but stay aware of what you’re doing, and how it’s going to appear. You’ll get it.
And then you’
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.