Cliff’s List 4/26/2006
Badboy (www.badboylifestyle.com): As soon as you have made love with the girl, you can consider that as the moment any relationship starts. It's as big a shift as when you originally went from not knowing her to opening her and getting into conversation. If you decide that you want to keep her for a longer period of time after you've slept with her - say weeks or months -- then the first month is critical. The foundations of the relationship, the image of the entire relationship is going to be created within the very first month. So be very careful about what you do, and how you behave towards her in that time. You see, women are programmed by default to have monogamous relationships. You can do two things about this: accept it and go along with it, or create new rules and reprogram the girl to follow them. Now if you really like her, and want to stay in a monogamous relationship with her, it's basically very easy. Just see her a few times a week, and have sex with her regularly. If you want to keep her, you will need to give her sex regularly. That means, at least 2-3 times per week. If you are new to the game, or really young. I suggest, you experience a few monogamous long term relationships like this, perhaps for 3-5 months. You will learn a lot about them. But be careful if they start to go beyond 5 months. We are programmed by nature to fall in love for a reason, so that we stay with a girl long enough that children can be raised. But that's not a good thing if you want to be a really good seducer. You have to be careful, when your relationship starts going beyond 5 months, that you aren't becoming emotionally enslaved by the girl. Just pay attention, to who sets the rules in the relationship. If you want to establish a relationship with two or more girls, the first consideration is your time. Trust me, it's time-consuming. Seeing every girl twice a week, and giving her 5-6 hours per meeting, your f r e e time is going to entirely disappear!! Anyway, if you decide you want this, begin your relationship with the first girl so that you prepare the territory for the other girls that you will add into your life. That means establishing rules and boundaries in the relationship. For example; how much you are going to see each other. If you see her every day, when will you have time for the others? Now it's important that you don't discuss your rules verbally, because then she will argue. Let her realize the rules by your behavior. After you've slept together, don't see her too often. Every day is way too often, because once she gets used to seeing you everyday, you will have problems cutting it back to a few times per week. NO matter how much you like her, or love her, don't do it if you plan to have other girls in your life or you want to live a normal life with time for yourself. Set up your life, so that you see her 2 or 3 times a week. That way you can have time for other girls. You can do this just by being busy. You don't need to explain to them why you cannot see them, just be busy. For example, the girl asks 'when will we see each other?', then just say, Saturday afternoon, or Sunday, whenever you wish. Of course you must give her some time in the week, because if you don't give her sex, somebody else will. But don't think she is going to figure out by herself how much you want to see her per week. If you don't take control of the relationship, she is going to do it, because somebody must. If you don't want to take the ball and serve, somebody else will. And if you allow the woman to control your relationship, then she will do it the way she has been programmed by society, and nature. And this programming is powerful! So for example, she is going to control you by giving or withholding sex; she is going to forbid you from seeing other girls, she is going to give you powerful emotional outbursts like jealousy, to rob you of energy for doing anything outside the relationship, and other smart ideas they usually use to control guys. Once you establish a relationship with one woman and have some time to add a few more, you just need to find a girl you like, and invite her into your life by giving her sex regularly. Once she suspects that you maybe do have other girls in your life besides her, you have a choice; to be honest about your lifestyle, or to hide it, and play it like there is no other woman in your life besides her. These are two completely different styles. I prefer being honest, but I've also experimented with being dishonest, and I suggest you try both ways, and for sure, you will lose some girls, until you learn how to play it right. It takes some time. Don't let it make you frustrated, because time is necessary to learn how to control a harem. If you choose to hide it, then that game is really easy; deny everything and keep your place clean. They have the instinct of marking their territory, by leaving their hair, panties, earrings, and other things, to signify that you are taken. Again, they act according to animal instincts. So always try to keep your place clean, otherwise you are in deep problems when one of them finds earrings or other things in your bed that don't belong to her. It's hard, but try it. If you choose the other path, and admit openly that you have been sleeping with other girls, then you must be aware that lot of girls will not accept it. But at least you won't have to keep cleaning your place all the time! They will not accept it, if they think you are not worth it. But if you give them the best sex on the planet, and they are sure they cannot find better, and they love you, of course they will choose to stay with you no matter what. If you go for it, you must be really strong, and your attitude must be like, it's my way or the highway. If you do it strongly, they will accept it, because they know that's the way you are, and they cannot change you. So they are forced to accept it. If you hesitate, or you are insecure, no way will it work. This way is really good if you have a good lifestyle. A lifestyle that they want to be part of. An excellent lifestyle is the foundation for long-term, crazy success in this game. I found for myself that being honest, bold about my life and my decisions work the best. Of course every person on this planet is different. So it's up to you what you choose, and you must decide based on how strong and secure you feel. Now I want to tell you some very good news: all girls on this planet are bisexual! Some of them confess it openly, while the more brainwashed deny it. With some work, you can get any girl open to 3somes, and other cool things. I always tell my girls, so they are aware of who am I, and so they know what they can expect from me. Actually, I don't need to tell them, they can detect it. It's so obvious. No matter how many of them you have (even if you only have one), they must always know they are replaceable. That way they lose all the power that society normally gives them in relationships. But then, the attitude alone that they are replaceable is not enough, because if they figure out you are using them just for sex, they will disappear from your life. So I make sure they know they are SPECIAL; special but replaceable. Every girl, no matter how many you have, should know that she is special, and that you love her . That will make her stick around you; but still, if she knows you have the skills to replace her, she will do everything to stay in your life. When they do something I don't like, something that I don't appreciate, I will state the rules, so I am assured they will never do it again. I tell them: You did this thing 3 times in your life! First time Last time And never AGAIN! Let me repeat you one more time: First time Last time And never AGAIN! A relationship is based on two things. attraction and Rapport. After some time, the attraction disappears, and rapport is the only thing that keeps the relationship going. When I say rapport, I am referring to the three things that build rapport, and those are: Trust, Comfort and Connection. For some girls, a longer relationship based solely on rapport, is enough, but for other girls it's not enough, and they will keep searching for att raction. And if they can't find it in a relationship, they will search for it outside. Because a relationship based solely on trust, comfort, and connection becomes boring after a while. So they will find somebody outside the relationship who is going to give them adventure, wild sex, and dominance, but she will stay with the first guy in the relationship, because he provides comfort, and she can rely on him. Think about rich old guys that get married with young girls...but this is not a good situation for you to be in. On the other hand if you only give her attraction, like wild sex and adventures, and no rapport, she will find somebody who is going to give her those cute romantic feelings. The key is to provide both attraction and rapport, over a longer period of time. Then any girl will love you, and stay with you. Because you have everything that they need. If you achieve that, the girl will never cheat on you with anybody else, and she will never search for other things outside the relationship, because your relationship gives her everything she needs. Giving her wild sex, being unpredictable, and doing adventurous things will give her the attraction she needs. Also, to cuddle, and sweet talk her after sex, and to give her some romantic experiences, like a dinner with candles and wine, will turn on the sweet side of the relationship with you. It's like Yin-Yang. You must have both things. This will help you to understand the most common situation that happens. A girl is with a nice guy in a relationship, and he provides her with anything, but she cheats on him anyway with some jerk. I heard this kind of story millions of times in my life. It's very easy to see why this happens. Buying gifts just for her presence in your life is stupidity. Flowers, perfumes, and other things, she must receive only as a reward for her good behavior. So don't buy those things, just for fun, so that she stays with you. She is going to stay with you because you are such an excellent guy, and she will get gifts only when she does something good. Like she invites other girls into your bed. Then certainly, she deserves a gift. So fight the urge to buy her something, just because she gives you sex. Sex is normal. That's how men and women communicate if they like each other. It's not some kind of bonus, and only society bulls-word makes us think that way. Punish bad behavior that you don't like by taking away sex, and not seeing her. No matter how many girls you have, or how satisfied you are with your love life, you should from time to time go out and pickup other girls. Just for pure fun, and to keep you in the right mindset. When a girl knows you can go out and get another girl in 45 minutes, then she will do the best she can to stay in your life. She will buy you things, keep you oversexed. Just to stop you searching around for more. A big problem happens when a guy that is so needy to get a girl in his life, thinks she will solve all his problems, so he's searching, and searching, and every girl runs away when she smells how unhappy he is. Because she is also searching for somebody who is going to make her happy, so when she smells an unhappy guy, of course she is going to run away because he's not somebody who is going to make her happy. If he cannot make himself happy, how he is going to make somebody else happy? So the key is first to fix your life, and prepare a kingdom where you are the ruler and can receive girls into the kingdom. A f-worded-up, boring life, or a life full of anxieties and troubles which you haven't dealt with, is not att ractive for anybody, especially not for girls. One thing that I see a lot is when a guy makes his girlfriend the center of his life. Like, she is part of everything he does. This happens when the girl is your entire happiness, and when you get her, you build the whole of your life around her. This means that she is controlling your whole life, because she is aware of the power she wields, basically of the power you surrendered to her. Sooner or later, she will become unhappy, because of the feeling that she is controlling you, and she is the source of your happiness, which is the opposite of what she wants. She wants a guy that is controlling her, and that the guy and his life are the source of happiness. If you place them at the center of your life, you are giving them unbelievable power, and control. If the whole of your life is built around the girl, then if she leaves, (as usually happens) the whole of your life disappears. Because your happiness left you. A far better way is this: build your life, so that the lifestyle you live makes you happy, and girls are orbiting around you, like planets orbiting around sun. Where you are the sun, and girls and hobbies are planets revolving around your day, and girls are just one of many cool things you do in your day, cool things that make you happy. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Robert: (Commenting on Nige 54's post "I don't think you could handle the pace"): Now, I have to admit, I agree with this guy 100%. Having pre-conceived techniques just don't work in all situations, we must be prepared to use any and all techniques and be able to improvise on the fly. I have been as bold to say to a well built woman in this third world country: Great looking breasts, but I think they are false. And in this country they will pull up/down their blouse to prove you wrong. Normally while they are in the front seat of my car, but one showed me while leaning in the window. Cliff's Comment: Robert supplied a photo of this, which he specified was not for publication! Nige 54 responds: Great work Robert!! It's just amazing as to what is possible if you have the balls to put on a cheeky smile and say what you are really thinking. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Cliff's List, 2348 Lucerne Rd., Suite 143, Montreal, Quebec, CANADA H3R 2J8. 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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.