The Definition of a Player
Defining a Player
This was written by The Player, and I found it quite entertaining. I’m always into the anaylization of this whole game, so I’m up to hear others opinions on it. I don’t totally agree with his assesment at pick up artists. But I do agree that too many guys spend too much time reading and not enough time practicing. So if you’re reading this write now pick up the phone and call one of the girls numbers you’ve got recently… do it!
Many people are confused as to what a player actually is, and how a real player should conduct him/her self. I do NOT believe that there are two different groups of people in the dating game, the players and the haters. I believe there are three groups:
The players, the watchers, and the confused. The players are those who are actively participating in the dating game. Some may be seasoned players and some many be new to the game, but EVERYONE who is dating people on any sort of level is a player (besides people involved in long term relationships).
The watchers are those who do not participate in the dating game, some may try once in a while while others would never even think about it. These watchers are scared to become players because of a wide range of reasons, the most common being: shyness, fear of rejection, low self esteem, and lack of confidence. If you fit into the watchers group then your in luck, I’m currently in the process of writing an article that will help you boost your confidence and get over your fears, it should be finished and featured on the website in less than a week.
Now on to the last group, the confused. These are those who would commonly be referred to as the “haters”. These confused folks will sit around feeling sorry for themselves and throw the blame on other people while their problem actually lies in their own inability to understand how the dating game works, and what the overall purpose of the game is. Yes, I will admit that there are a few “bad apples” out there, and that some players have only bad intentions. However, if you look at us players as a whole, we are simply searching for the person that is right for us, and that my friends is the purpose of the dating game.
The process that we must go through in order to find Mrs/Mr right is called trial and error, and this is where things tend to get a bit ugly. We must try different people to find out who we enjoy the most and who we are compatible with. If you realize that the current person you are dating is not “the one”, then you have the right to get rid of them whether they like it or not, because this is the way that the game of love works. Look at it this way, if you try a shirt on in a department store and it does not fit, you have the right to put it back, and this works the same way because we are, in essence, shopping for our lifetime partner.
One of the major issues players are faced with is when women complain about us not wanting anything to do with them after having sex. Our acting in this fashion could be for any of a wide range of reasons, but all point to the simple fact… she is not “the one”. It could be that she was bad in bed, too easy to get into bed, or ANY other reason. It does not matter what it was because now that it has been imprinted on your mind, she could never be “the one”, and it is not your fault. You don’t have the power to erase from your memory this bad experience that you subconsciously relate her to, and she needs to understand that fact and quit acting so selfishly. Yes I said SELFISH.
Think about it, just because she believes that you are her “one and only” means that you should stay with her when you know for a fact that she is not the one for you? She must be out of her mind! Tell her “This works both ways or it does not work at all, honey”.
However, I can see why many men are wrong and women have the right to be angry. It’s the lying, and it has to stop. If you tell a woman that you want to be with her or that you love her just to get in her pants then your not a player, your a liar. Real players never lie because we don’t have to, there are many ways to get around saying something that you don’t mean by changing the subject or giving a well-directed compliment, which will get you exactly what you want also. I like to call that the “all natural” approach, because it works… but without the side effects.
Player or Pick Up Artist
Many people get players confused with pick up artists… while they are two totally different things, allow me to explain :
Player – A player is someone with an active dating life that is appealing to just about anyone of the opposite sex. These people always make all of the right moves because they have practiced and perfected their skills by teaching themselves to never make any of the wrong ones. Players learn from various sources, but the majority of what they learn comes from the actual experience that they get by using this knowledge in real life situations. Whether a player chooses to use his skills to date multiple women at once or cheat on his partner is his own choice… there are always “bad apples”. The fact that he is labeled as a player simply means that he has the ability to pick up just about any women, it does not necessarily mean that this is what he does. A real player has a sense of honer and morals, meaning that he would rather use actual SKILL to pick up women than trickery and shady tactics… why pretend when you are the real deal? Players have genuine confidence.
Pick Up Artist – Similar to con artist, but instead of stealing money… they are stealing dates. The pick up artist is the type of guy that will always fall for the next “get rich quick” scam, as he is always looking for the fast and easy way to solving his problems. Pick up artists on average know about 50 times more about picking up women than players do, but how much out of this information that they know is actually useful… is questionable. In turn, pick up artists have about 50 times less experience at picking up women than players do, simply because they spend too much of their time learning by reading and not enough time learning “hands on”. Just like players, pick up artists are much better than the average man at picking up women, this is because the average man has neither the knowledge OR the experience, while a pick up artist has immense knowledge… but again, this knowledge is still questionable because it is rarely used. Pick up artists typically make up for this lack in skill with what you can call “cheats” in which they will lie, trick, degrade, make fun of or even attempt to hypnotize women into liking them. Pick up artists have no sense of honer or morals, as they only seem to thrive when they succeed at making a woman feel bad enough about herself so much that they bring her down to their low level, making her think “Hey maybe I’m not too good for this nerd after all”. Pick up artists have false confidence.
Maybe you are one, maybe the other… or perhaps you are somewhere in between. The choice is yours
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.