Observe, Learn, Initiate

This article by The Player is all about approaching. Approaching is one of the hardest things to master in this game. While there is no subsitute for practice, The Art of Approaching, is a great book to begin with if you are completely unsure of how to go about the approach. In the mean time this article gives some good tips!!

Approaching girls

There is no such thing as a cookie-cutter line that can be used on every single girl. When you approach them you’ve got to be genuine and unique, and you do this by saying something that actually has value to them instead of a basic “Hi, my name is” or “Hey hot stuff” line.

What you need to learn how to do is use my “Observe – Learn – Initiate” technique. This is how it works :

~ Observe ~

You observe the girl that you are about to talk to and try to notice anything about her that you can use as a conversation starter : What is she wearing… does it say anything on her shirt? What she is doing… is she waiting for someone or something? What she is holding… does she have a cell phone, book, purse or shopping bag?

~ Learn ~

Through the process of observing you should have gathered quite a bit of information about this girl, now it is time to put it all to good use… and learn from it. Now lets say while observing you noticed that her shirt says the name of her school on it as well as a number, and that she is looking around anxiously and is holding a cell phone in one hand and has a Baby Phat purse around her shoulder. From this information you can learn quite a bit about this girl… you can assume that she is either on the girl’s basketball or volleyball team, that she is most likely waiting for someone and has either called them already or is about to. You can also tell that she has a good sense of style because of the purse… any may like hip hop or R&B music because that is usually the case with girls who buy Baby Phat Products. See what happened? Just because you took a second to actually look at a few minor details, you now know more about her than anyone else who would attempt approaching her, and your chances of success are greatly increased because you have a few things that you can say to her when you approach that you know she will be interested in : her basketball or volleyball team, who she’s waiting for, what kind of phone she has, what ring tone she has, compliment her on the nice purse and talk about music (you even know what kind she probably likes!).

~ Initiate ~

Well, here we are… the moment of truth. You’ve already done your observing and learning and now you know enough about the girl to start up a conversation with ease… now all that’s left to do is go up to her and start running your game, but what do you say first? The basic rule goes : Compliments first, then introductions, then strongest knowledge. This means that since she has a nice purse, this would be the best choice as the first thing to say, because it falls into the compliments category. So you say “Nice purse ya got… is that Baby Phat?” she responds then it’s time for introductions so you say “I’m (insert your name), and you are?” she responds with her name (REMEMBER HER NAME, it’s very important), now it’s time to start up a conversation based on the strongest knowledge that you have learned about her… which in this case would be her sports team, because her wearing the shirt almost guarantees that you can be sure she is on a team. Begin with something like “You know (insert her name), I noticed your shirt on my way over here, what kinda team are you on?” then take it from there.

Your conversation with her should be able to flow pretty easily now because you identified something that she is obviously really into and brought it up as a topic of conversation, which is something most guys never even think of doing. During the course of the conversation with her always remember to repeat her name as much as possible, and listen… I mean REALLY LISTEN to what she has to say, because once you guys start talking the things that she says is your new way to learn more things about her and be able to ask more questions based on things that she is interested in. Let the conversation continue for about 5-10 minutes then get her number and be on your merry way.

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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