The Three Sexual Keys

Turning Women On by Derek Vitalio

Most men do two but not all three of the keys that lead to constantly fresh and fulfilling sex. Not because they cant do any of them, but because the three key aspects arent linked firmly enough. Once you can successfully balance play, sex, and cuddling, youll be able to show your lover something new every time.

The Familiar Trap

Congratulations. Youve found an awesome girl, youve been intimate innumerable times, and all seems great in the world.

Except youve got this nagging doubt. When you make love, you notice its starting to follow a pattern. And it doesnt have quite the urgency and excitement it first did.

And maybe youll find yourself getting bored, and maybe youll find yourself wondering if SHES getting bored.

Whether she is or not, thats a bad way to get through a relationship. Youre just opening yourself up to all sorts of negative thought loops.

You all know, I DONT like negative thought loops. But you ALSO know, its a lot harder to deal with one once it starts (and reverberates through a life) than to NEVER have one come up.

Luckily, in this case, it aint all THAT hard to avoid the boredom in bed that begets bad questions. Or, worse, bad RESULTS.

The keys

It’s simple: make sure you have all three of the KEY ingredients to good sex. Because if things are getting mechanical, chances are youre missing at least ONE of them.

And what are they? In no particular order: bonding, sex, and play.

Lets make sure you understand my meaning when I say that.

The three ways

Well start with bonding: this is all the cuddle time, the spooning and cooing and other things you dont really brag about over beers. If you want to have good sex “ and especially if you are in a committed relationship “ you NEED that bonding, so you both can feel comfortable pushing your envelopes. Or saying when the envelopes have been reached.

You need trust. Thats just the way it is.

Sex, youve probably got a pretty good idea what youre doing. Usually guys are fine at the actual motions and movements of sex “ its when they havent prepared the mental game that it goes bad.

Just make sure to mix it up, dont do the exact same things in the same order, and youll be fine. The ol in-out is easy enough “ its the prep that makes or breaks the session.

In other words, dont simply go straight to sex “ other than a few exciting times, when it works in the mood. Like when youve got five minutes in a club bathroom “ when the event or location is enough to turn up the heat.

But it should be the exception and exciting in THAT specific way. Any other time, you need to push-pull, give a little to dial it up, but take it right back. What works in the seduction works just as well “ maybe more “ in the relationship. AVOID doing the same thing or anything that can be assumed. Change your patterns CONSTANTLY, and you know the rest.

And the third one, play, is the one most often forgotten. For that reason, its probably the MOST important for you to keep in mind and consciously exercise.

One reason its mostly forgotten is because its not so OBVIOUSLY connected to sex. Youve gotta understand, when I say play I dont mean break out the Parker Brothers “ but Im not necessarily talking about role playing sex either.

Play means having some FUN and maybe even silly bonding. You need this to keep things LIGHT and keep the atmosphere positive and warm.

Or think of it this way “ when youre playing, or with someone you can play with, awkwardness is IMPOSSIBLE.

And when youre with that person, youre going to be getting a FUN vibe the whole time, just waiting for triggers.

So your play can be some time with pleasing fun teases, or acting as Dracula biting her neck (obviously getting sensual with that), or even your initial pick-up can be counted as play.

In general, the longer youve been involved, the more directly sexual your play should be “ but again, dont be formulaic about it. Throw curve balls regularly, and then when she expects the curveball, give her the heat.

So like all the rest, KEEP HER GUESSING. The minute she knows what comes next, youve lost her.

Now when using these three styles, what do you think I want you to do?

Keep her What?

Yep, keep her guessing.

The order of them isn’t important at all. MOST guys will start by being playful, moving on to sex, and then cuddling.

Sure, its a classic. But its not the ONLY way, and if you treat it as such itll become BORING.

Maybe one time you’ll chase her around the house as a mummy, before you spoon in front of a horror movie, and then make love during a sex scene.

Maybe you have sweet pillow talk as you wake up, start playing a stern teacher as she tells you naughty things, and your little innocent spanks transition into a firm yet tender sex session.

Maybe you fuck the shit out of her in the venue bathroom, stand behind her and encircle her waist with your arms, swaying and dancing to a concert, then take turns imitating band members on the car ride home.

It doesnt matter WHAT order you do it in or HOW LONG you spend on each step “ as long as youre varying it each time.

Often, for whatever reason, you want be able to hit all three components “ but thats not a problem. As long as all three are THERE in the relationship and are usually linked together, it doesnt matter if you cant cuddle during lunch or have sex while youre entertaining guests.

Keep the three linked together, and any ONE will suggest the other two. You’ll be constantly creating new erotic connections in her head, which is not only enjoyable but also VERY stimulating and FAR from boring.

Keep her entertained, sexually satiated (but with healthy hunger), and close to you, and you’ll NEVER have to worry about the sex getting stale. Which also means, you can keep your relationship going indefinitely “ theres no way shes going to want to leave such a satisfying and RARE set-up unless you SERIOUSLY fuck up somewhere else.

At least it wont be the sex.

If you want to learn MORE about how to keep your lover constantly aroused and excited to try new things “ as well as ways to avoid other pitfalls that turn relationships stale “ you should check out my new program, Blissnosis. It’ll help you with every aspect of a relationship, and always keep her coming back constantly for more.

Until Next Time,

Derek Vitalio

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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