How To Evict Your Inner Wussy
While I highly recommend David D’s book Double Your Dating, his newsletter never really carry a profound new message. But they are good to read every once in awhile to remind yourself on the fundamentals. So Below I posted an email I recieved from his recently.
HOW TO EVICT YOUR INNER WUSSY by David DeAngelo
HOW TO STOP DOING THE WRONG THINGS AND START DOING THE RIGHT THINGS TO ATTRACT MORE WOMEN AND KEEP THEM ATTRACTED!
I was talking to a good friend of mine a few nights ago, and he told me an interesting story.
He was walking home recently, when he walked by a couple who were obviously in an emotional discussion.
As it turned out, the woman was breaking up with the man, and he was trying to understand why.
The interchange went something like this:
Her: “I’m not ATTRACTED to you anymore… I just don’t FEEL IT.”
Him: “But I would do ANYTHING to make this work… I’ll do anything you want… just tell me what to do.”
Her: “That’s the problem. You just don’t get it.”
…and that was all he heard.
Have you ever been there?
Have you ever had a girlfriend break up with you, or just drift away, and the more you tried to hold on, the further she ran from you? And the more you tried to be a “good guy” and please her, the more distant she became?
Well, me too. I’ve been there MORE than once in my life.
And it ALWAYS SUCKED.
The worst part about it was NEVER UNDERSTANDING WHAT THE HECK WAS GOING ON!
I can remember being that guy I just told you the story about… and asking “Why? Why are you confused? What do I have to do to make this work?”
I was willing to change, act different, or whatever.
Little did I know at the time, but it was this EXACT attitude that led to all the problems in the first place.
If you’ve read my newsletters for awhile now, you probably know that women don’t feel the emotion called ATTRACTION for guys who act weak, needy, insecure and “WUSS-LIKE”.
But unless you know this to begin with, then it’s ALL TOO EASY to become a “nice”, overly- accommodating, uninteresting, predictable, boring guy… and even though it seems logical that a woman should love to be treated like a queen at all times, you’ve probably found out, just like I have, that this combination usually leads to a woman either 1) Leaving you… or 2) Becoming increasingly controlling, domineering, and neurotic.
So what’s up with that? Why does this happen? And more importantly, what can we do to avoid getting into this horrible position of losing a woman’s attention because we’re trying to be nice to her?
Here’s my take, after studying this stuff for many, many years now…
1. ATTRACTION ISN’T A CHOICE.
In other words, we humans don’t CHOOSE who we feel attracted to… and, JUST AS IMPORTANT, who we DON’T feel attracted to.
ATTRACTION happens for reasons all its own, and these reasons have evolved inside of us over time.
While culture, peer pressure, and trends can shape our natural drives slightly, the FUNDAMENTALS NEVER CHANGE.
2. MEN ARE ATTRACTED MORE TO LOOKS, WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED MORE TO PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER.
Most men can’t believe it, but to a woman your looks just aren’t that important.
Sure, if you don’t take care of yourself, don’t bathe, and let two of your front teeth rot out you might scare away the ladies.
But for the most part, women will look past just about ANY physical issue if she feels that all-important emotion called ATTRACTION.
And ATTRACTION is created by your PERSONALITY.
For women, ATTRACTION is triggered by male qualities like: Dominance, Humor, Unpredictability, Adventure, Strength, Sexual Awareness, Indifference, etc.
3. WOMEN AREN’T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.
4. WOMEN TEST MEN BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO.
When a woman begins to feel a romantic connection with you, she faces an interesting problem…
How can she tell for sure if your character and personality are the way you’re expressing them?
As we all know, men and women BOTH show off and exaggerate their “good sides” while downplaying and hiding their negative traits at first. This is why men suck-in their guts, brag, and show off… and why women wear makeup, do their hair, and shop all day for their clothes.
If you were a woman, and you needed to figure out if a man was showing you his “true self”, how would you do it?
What if you had to know FOR SURE?
The only way is to TEST on an ongoing basis, and to keep escalating the tests to be sure.
Put all this together (with a bunch of other factors that I don’t have time to talk about) and you get an interesting problem that women face…
A woman responds to a man that stirs her emotions, and causes her to want him so badly that she’ll put aside all logic and reason to be with him.
But what if the man is just pretending? What if he only SEEMS to be this confident, funny, manly- man on the outside, but he’s actually a push-over WUSS-BAG that is insecure and makes up for it by acting like a tough guy?
Or worse yet, what if he’s a WUSS all the time, and she just happened to settle for him because he was available and persistent… and she didn’t have anything better going on at the time… but now she has other options?
Well, these are the kinds of situations, that when played out, lead to the story that I started with… a man begging a woman to stay… pleading with her to explain what he has to do to keep her.
Of course, this is all WUSSY behavior, and it only serves to put the final nail in the coffin, convincing the object of your desire that you are ABSOLUTELY, beyond the shadow of any doubt, a Wuss.
So what’s the answer?
The answer is to NEVER BE THOUGHT OF AS A WUSSY AGAIN!
If you want to make your dating life a whole lot better and easier, then stop and think about your behavior… and resolve right now to stop acting like a WUSS for the rest of your life.
Being “nice” and “accommodating” and “understanding” is great for friendships and social relationships, but it’s HORRIBLE for ATTRACTION.
An interesting, attractive woman doesn’t want a guy that she can push around. She doesn’t want a guy who does what she wants him to do. She doesn’t want a little boy that she can train and raise.
An interesting, attractive woman wants a MAN.
This doesn’t make LOGICAL sense, I know. But it’s the truth. These submissive qualities will only work in attracting a woman IF SHE LIKES DRESSING UP IN LEATHER AND WHIPPING HER MAN… AND CHARGING $400.00 AN HOUR!
And my guess is that this isn’t the kind of woman that you’re looking for.
I’ve explained some of the important qualities that you need to cultivate in yourself if you want to attract women… and keep them attracted.
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About David DeAngelo David DeAngelo is the author of Double Your Dating, and the creator of programs like Advanced Dating Techniques. He has spent the last 15 years educating men on how to improve their dating life, self confidence, and inner game. You can read 22 of his David DeAngelo's best articles here.