What to Do When Women Test You
Below is a David DeAngelo article on women testing you. This shit is so true. This article only gives some insight into how and why they test you, but it is a good starting point in learning how to avoid these tests and even turn them around on the girls.
by David DeAngelo
“WHY WOMEN TEST MEN, AND WHAT TO DO WHEN IT HAPPENS TO YOU…”
Women test men.
That’s the reality of the situation.
Women test men RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING, and they keep on testing FOREVER.
If you don’t know how to deal with the tests that women throw at you, you have VERY LITTLE chance of improving your success in the dating world.
HOW DO WOMEN TEST MEN?
For most guys, the concept of a woman “testing” them seems a little strange.
Why would a woman WANT to test a man?
What could she possibly gain from it?
The answer: A LOT.
By testing a man, a woman can learn THE MOST IMPORTANT thing about him…
And I’ll share what that is a little bit later on in this newsletter.
TEST: A DEFINITION
So I was thinking about this particular topic today, and I realized that I’ve never looked up the definition of the word “test”.
When I did, here’s what I found:
1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one’s eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete’s endurance.
2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability.
3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: “A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together” (Haynes Johnson).
OK, so take a moment and read those again.
The purpose of a test is to figure something out. It’s a way of getting “true” information about something.
So back to my earlier question… Why do women test men in the first place?
BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO.
If you walk up to a man and say “Hey, how much money do you make?” he can LIE.
If you ask him if he is good in bed, he can LIE.
If you ask him if he’s strong enough to deal with the challenges of life, support a family, and reach his goals, he can LIE.
Are you with me here?
In other words, if you get to the end of one of your college courses, the teacher COULD just ask you if you have a comprehensive understanding of the material you learned during the course.
But you could LIE.
So the teacher gives you a TEST to see if you REALLY know what’s going on.
Well, in the same way that teachers test students, women test MEN.
And that means YOU, Sparky.
But there’s one LITTLE TEENSY WEENSY difference between the kinds of tests that women give you and the kinds of tests that teachers give you…
Women don’t tell you first… that they’re going to test you!
And they don’t teach you what you need to know BEFORE they test you.
They just do it.
Right when they meet you.
Within the first few seconds, actually.
Because women don’t have the TIME to deal with all the guys who are interested in them.
And they’re not interested in getting together with a man who doesn’t “get it” in the first place.
Beautiful women aren’t looking for a guy to TRAIN.
And the tests don’t stop… by the way.
If you meet an attractive, interesting, emotionally healthy woman, you can expect to be tested until either:
1) The relationship ends.
2) You or she DIES.
WHAT WOMEN ARE TESTING FOR
Now, women will test men for ALL KINDS of things.
Some women will test to see if you have money.
Some will test to see if you’ll SPEND your money on them.
Some will test to see if you’re intelligent.
And some will test to see if you’re loyal.
But BY FAR, in my experience, more women will test you initially to see if you’re a WUSSY!
The VERY FIRST thing a woman wants to “know” about you is whether or not you’re a submissive, ass-kissing boy who has no balls.
And if you ARE, then you might as well throw in the towel.
If you are a Wussy, and you fail the “Wussy Tests” that she throws at you, then you stand very little chance succeeding with the woman who is testing you.
Of course, MOST men fail with MOST women… MOST of the time.
As a side note:
There is one exception to this rule.
If you act like a Wussy, but you’re willing to pursue a woman for a few YEARS, and deal with the idea that you have about a 1 in 100 chance, then you MIGHT be able to convince her to marry you.
But like I said, the chances are VERY slim, and the effort required just isn’t worth it.
There is a FAR better way…
THESE TESTS ARE VERY SUBTLE
Probably the most interesting thing about tests from women is that they’re not OBVIOUS.
At least not to most men.
In fact, I’d say that 99% of all the tests that women use on men FLY BELOW RADAR.
They’re right out in the open, obvious to other women (and a few men), but for the most part, they go COMPLETELY UNDETECTED.
For instance, let’s say that you’re standing at a bar talking to some friends, and you make eye contact with the cute girl standing six feet away from you.
What do most guys do?
They look away.
And they do it FAST.
Of course, most guys will LOOK AGAIN within a few seconds.
But it’s already too late.
Let’s say you’re at a bar talking to a girl, and she says “Hey, buy me a drink”.
You say “Great, what do you want?”.
She just told you what to do, and you went for it without a second thought.
Or maybe you’ve started a conversation with a group of girls at a coffee shop.
One of them says that she doesn’t like your shoes.
You say “Oh, well I wasn’t planning on seeing anyone important today… I just put on whatever I could find”.
In other words, you MAKE AN EXCUSE for yourself.
As you can probably guess, that’s a BAD IDEA.
In that moment, you have just failed the test with flying colors.
THIS HAS HAPPENED TO YOU
If you think back in your life about all of the situations with women that went BAD, you’ll probably find that you were TESTED, and you FAILED.
In one way or another, you probably missed some VITAL clue that you were being tested, and you wound up failing.
RESULT: She hit the road.
It’s happened to all of us.
If I had a dollar for every time…
I’ve been through this one so many times in my life that it HURTS.
I should probably get the jackass award for most tests failed with women.
And before I give you some tips on handling tests from women, I want to say AGAIN: If you find yourself failing tests from women on a CONSISTENT basis, then you should get yourself some “in- depth” reprogramming on a DEEP level.
HOW TO DEAL WITH TESTS
If you’re going to successfully deal with tests from women, you first need to “get it”.
To say it differently, you need to learn how to RECOGNIZE tests quickly… and know when they’re happening.
What’s the best way to know when you’re being tested?
Well, one way that I KNOW I’m being tested is my GUT.
Your gut doesn’t lie.
In fact, if us guys would just learn to use this amazing “test detector” called our GUTS, then we’d live happier lives.
Here’s how it works…
Next time you’re interacting with a woman and she does or says something that makes your gut tense up, you’re probably being tested.
Now, I can’t go into all the aspects of how to deal with tests from women… because that would take me several hours.
But I will say that the most IMPORTANT thing to do is EXPECT tests… and then pay close attention to how you’re responding to them.
Most of the things we do with women are NOT CONSCIOUS. When a woman looks at you, and you look away, it wasn’t a “conscious decision”.
It just HAPPENS.
All of a sudden, you’re feeling butterflies and glancing away. It happens in an instant.
So you first need to recognize when it’s happening to you.
When a woman tells you what to do, she’s testing you.
When a woman tries to change plans or cancel at the last minute, she’s testing you.
When a woman asks you to buy her something, she’s testing you.
When a woman nags, whines, or complains, she’s testing you.
Learn to SPOT IT when it’s happening.
Next, notice how you respond.
You’ve failed a million tests with women already, so don’t worry about ten more.
Just notice how you respond.
Most men respond by trying to win the woman’s approval.
If she tries to cancel plans at the last minute, you’ll say “Oh, no problem”.
If she complains about something, you’ll say “I’m sorry, let me fix it”.
You know what I’m saying.
Again, just notice what’s going on when you respond.
Finally, learn how to PAUSE before you respond, and then UNDERSTAND how you need to respond to each test.
Most tests will be tests to see if you’ll allow her to CONTROL YOU.
If you DO allow a woman to CONTROL you, you will lose.
And you can take that one to the bank.
You will lose in one way or another, almost guaranteed.
Women don’t want men that they can control.
So make sure you pass those tests first.
The more you pay close attention, the more you’ll see the subtle tests that women are using with you.
And the more of these tests you pass, the more success you’ll have.
YOU MUST GO BEYOND THE TEST
To learn more I highly recommend reading David’s ebook
And here is another article related to the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2012/04/23/when-she-tells-you-about-her-problems/
About David DeAngelo David DeAngelo is the author of Double Your Dating, and the creator of programs like Advanced Dating Techniques. He has spent the last 15 years educating men on how to improve their dating life, self confidence, and inner game. You can read 22 of his David DeAngelo's best articles here.