What to Do When Women Don’t Call You Back
This was from David D’s mail bag. I thought it was interesting because
it deals with a common issue we all go through when dealing with girls
we’ve met outside of our social circle.
The Phone Game and Waiting for Her Call by David De Angelo
One of the things I’ve talked about before is how once a person believes something to be “true” or believes that they understand how something works, that they tend to make other information or new things that they learn, fit that older model, rather than being open to change.
For instance, people who become part of a cult will tend to take the advice from others, evidence that they’re not doing the right thing etc. to help convince them that they ARE doing the right thing.
The reason that I bring this up is because it sounds to me like you’re looking for an answer to how to solve a problem that you should actually try to PREVENT in the first place.
I’m going to talk about how to prevent this problem first, then tell you a few things you can do when you run into it again in the future as well.
Here are two things to keep in mind:
1) Women give out their numbers to guys A LOT (on average). A woman can have all kinds of reasons for giving out her number. She might like the attention, or it might even be just to get rid of a guy.
2) Women expect men to call THEM. And if a man doesn’t reach them when he calls, a woman expects the man to TRY AGAIN. (In the book “The Rules” – the book for women about how to get a man to marry you – the authors tell women not to call men and rarely return a man’s call, because it makes him think about you and want you more).
If I were you, I’d start thinking about two approaches:
1) Figure out how to make it so that women WANT to give you their REAL number and make them WANT to call you back based on the first meeting. 2) If you got a number instead of email, call her at least 3 or 4 times before you give up.
To figure out how to make women WANT to call you back, you might have to work on improving your humor, your personality, your appearance, or whatever. In short, you need to learn how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you when you first meet her. If you don’t, she’s not likely to call you back.
Don’t go too overboard on this one because a lot of this issue is just the fact that women don’t return calls as often as men do… but think it through.
To learn how to better build attraction.
There are probably a few things you’re doing that make women feel a little strange at first (this is just a guess, as most guys have things they could improve).
Maybe you’re acting a little too nervous.
Maybe you’re acting too “nice” or like you’re “awed” by women.
Maybe you’re not making eye contact directly, and you’re giving off a “not-very-confident” vibe.
Think about it.
But the best thing you can do is to just call a woman on the phone 3 or 4 times before you give up! (That is, when a woman gives you her REAL number).
Women expect men to keep trying, so they just don’t call back.
Remember, SHE’S THE WOMAN. She’s the one who’s getting approached by interested guys, and who probably sees you as “just another guy” calling her.
You must be persistent, keep it cool and low- key, and keep calling until you reach her.
If a woman gives you a fake number, it just means that she wanted to get rid of you…
You need to think about how the interaction went, and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for the behavior and communication that made her want to give you a fake number.
Again, think about it and make improvements.
And to answer your question directly of “What do I do if I see her again afterwards”, I’d say that it all depends.
If you would consider going out with a woman who has the ethical standard of giving out fake numbers, then I’d say you might want to reconsider your choice of women…
And if you would like to talk to a woman who didn’t call you back (maybe you left her a message, etc.), then I’d come up with something funny. Cocky & Funny, that is.
Walk over and make fun of her because it’s obvious that she didn’t have enough money to pay her phone bill and when she tried to call you back she found that her phone was disconnected but that it’s nothing to be ashamed of and you’ll take pity on her and buy her some ramen noodle soup while she’s broke and hungry.
Just make sure you’re lighthearted about it, and you communicate that you could really care less that she didn’t call you back… but that you’re going to take the opportunity to bust on her because she’s in your presence.
In the seminars that I teach, we do some exercises around body language and other non- verbal communication.
Your body language says SOOOOO MUCH about you, and women use body language to decide many, many things about you.
If your body language and communications aren’t working together to create ATTRACTION, then you’re going to get a lot more fake numbers and a lot fewer calls back from women.
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About David DeAngelo David DeAngelo is the author of Double Your Dating, and the creator of programs like Advanced Dating Techniques. He has spent the last 15 years educating men on how to improve their dating life, self confidence, and inner game. You can read 22 of his David DeAngelo's best articles here.