Last Minute Resistance
Here is another installment of Mystery’s online newsletter OAP. In this newsletter he talks about overcoming a woman’s last minute resistance. If you have trouble closing the deal then you definately need to read this…
Â Perspectives on Last Minute Resistance (LMR) by The Mystery Method
Have you ever had the feeling that you did EVERYTHING right with a woman, but when you’re in bed, she says no?
Of course you have. We all have. It can be intensely frustrating.
The good news is that it’s avoidable. You CAN remove last minute resistance (LMR) from your life.
Not through any trickery either. Not by camming a woman. Simply by understanding what it is that causes LMR, and helping her get past it. As usual, to really understand this topic, we need to take a step back and make sure we are all on the same page.
What is LMR? LMR occurs when a woman says no to sexual touching when you’re somewhere where it would be reasonable to have success and you’re already attracted to each other (kissing, etc.). Saying no to sexual touching can occur anywhere from touching her breasts over her clothes to putting a condom on. It’s all LMR, and it’s triggered by her emotional state and comfort level with you.
How does LMR affect women? Some women don’t feel LMR, but most do. It’s not a fun feeling for her either ‘ she gets intensely nervous and uncomfortable with a knot in her stomach. Biologically, by having sex with you, or doing things that she knows will lead to sex, she is taking a big bet on you. In modern society, sex usually doesn’t lead to pregnancy, but her emotional instincts were designed thousands of years ago. That’s why comfort is so important to a woman before sex.
How does LMR affect men? For men, it can be deeply frustrating. You usually won’t have these same emotions about sex, and hers can be difficult to relate to. An easy analogy for this is how women often don’t understand how it can be tough for a man to approach a woman whom he doesn’t know. Just go talk to her, she says. Or be yourself. She doesn’t understand the pit in most men’s stomach that comes in when a man begins the process and prepares to approach a woman he doesn’t know. Similarly, we don’t intuitively understand the feeling women have at the end of the process.
Alright, enough theory. What are we supposed to actually do?
Myself, I have a great girlfriend now, so I’m not dealing with a lot of LMR these days. But I remember when I was, and, fortunately, there is some great information available. This is one of those places where I think the Video Archive Encyclopedia (the best of clips from Mystery’s multi-city seminar tour last year and the only place from now on where you can have access to Mystery teaching personally) is far superior to the Venusian Arts Handbook. But both are good, and we’ll use both of them here. That’ll be it for now until they make an Interview Series CD on LMR.
Within the Video Archive Encyclopedia, DVD #5 is the most crucial for LMR. You can check out one of the tracks from it here. Especially useful is the concept of freeze-outs, which Mystery explains and gives examples. There is almost an hour of material here, and you really need to see and hear it to get the best flavor. [This is one of those times won’t show. Still, for a free resource, I think we do by far the best damn job out there!]
Some specific things that some our instructors have taught and found useful
* Be persistent If she says no or indicates that she is uncomfortable, you need to stop what you are doing. Any deviation from that is immoral and illegal. However, you can certainly go back one step and then try again later. If she won’t let you remove her top, go back to kissing her for a few minutes.
* Use arousal If you can arouse her enough, she will want to sleep with you. She knows this, and often won’t let you do a lot of things that would arouse her (like touching her genitals). That’s why LMR can occur way before sex is an actual possibility. However, you can often get away with being on top of her and kissing her. If you rub against her in that position (dry humping) she will often be receptive, especially if you are also kissing her neck or ears.
* Use freezouts Freezouts are the key to LMR in the Mystery Method. They’re best explain in the DVDs of Mystery’s Seminars, but Magic Bullets has a short piece on them: If LMR seems insurmountable, just do a freeze-out: turn on the light, snuff out the candle, check your email, go to the kitchen to make a sandwich, or pull out a checkers board and challenge her to a game. The power of this is in its sincere delivery. If you were sulking, that would show that you were affected. But you’re unaffected. Just switch off the arousal circuitry like it’s no big deal and freeze her out sexually, then try again in ten minutes.
* Minimize physical state breaks A physical state break is where you go from doing one sort of activity to another in a sharp, not a gradual, way. Women get through LMR by gradually moving from one activity to another without ever having to stop and think should I have sex? Many women like to be seduced, and not to have to feel responsible for sex happening. So when you move her to your bedroom, or you take off her clothes, it gets her thinking about how far she wants things to go, rather than enjoying the slow buildup. Minimize this by moving to the bedroom early or not at all. Removing her pants should be done gradually, and while focusing on other activities (kissing her).
* You’ve hijacked my brain This is a great routine of Mystery’s, where he helps women understand the depth of the emotional connection, which adds to her comfort level. Quoting from the Venusian Arts Handbook, Often it is the case that your romantic interest doesn’t feel qualified enough she believes if she gives it up too easily, you will simply move on afterwards. This is why it’s so important in A3: Qualification (see part 2 of this OAP, just below, for more stuff on Qualification) for her to feel that her efforts are succeeding and that she is winning you over. If this element is missing, notice that girls will freak out just prior to sex, saying things like,Why me? Why do you like me? and I don’t even know you If you’re lacking in this key element and need to compensate quickly in a logistical bind, use Baby I just can’t stop thinking about you languaging to inoculate against her LMR before you escalate.
* Know the little things that work These don’t fall into a category, but they’re useful. If she says we shouldn’t be doing this agree with her. Yes, we shouldn’t. If she repeats that you shouldn’t, then you have to stop and regroup, but often she won’t. Never take her underwear off by itself. Either take it off when her pants come off (at the same time) or just move them to the side. Another one you can escalate physically pretty quickly when you’re on the phone it’s considered playful.
Read review my review of Magic Bullets here!
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.