What Turns Women ON

Here is a good read from David DeAngelo. David puts a lot of good information into these newsletters, all you have to do is sort through the filler product plugs. Which I do for you:) Although I will always recommend is E-book which is a must read.

How to turn a woman on by David DeAngelo


There are two basic stories for how men and women “start off” together, and two basic stories for how men and women “end up”.

Through all of time, I’m sure that men and women have been playing out these stories… and I’m sure that they’ll continue to play them out long into the future (that is, unless I have something to say about it… and I do).


Here’s “Meeting Story #1”:

Boy is attracted to girl. Unfortunately, boy doesn’t have a clue about how to make girl feel ATTRACTION for him… so, instead he tries to “pursue” girl by offering her dinners, gifts, and flowers. Girl finds boy “nice”, but there are no “sparks”, so she “just likes him as a friend”.

Here’s “Meeting Story #2”:

Boy is attracted to girl. Fortunately for him, boy understands ATTRACTION, and begins to communicate with girl in a way that makes her feel a powerful physical and emotional response for boy that she can’t control. The sparks fly, and boy and girl “get together”.

As I’m sure you know…

In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation and both of them know it.

In story #2, BOY is the one who’s in control of the situation.


Let’s assume that somehow, boy and girl actually “get together”. Things usually go one of two ways after that…

Here’s “End Up Story #1”:

Boy and girl get together. Boy realizes that he “REALLY likes” girl. Boy begins to act more and more predictable. Boy starts to share “how he feels” about girl too often. Boy becomes more and more submissive. Girl loses that feeling of ATTRACTION that she once had for boy and has no way of explaining or understanding why. Girl leaves boy and boy is left wondering what happened.

Here’s “End Up Story #2”:

Boy and girl get together. Boy understands that no matter how much he likes girl, he cannot let himself become a Wussy who chases girl around “sharing how he feels” and becomes boring. Boy keeps the relationship interesting and he keeps challenging girl. Boy stays in control of himself, and by understanding his role as “The Man” in the relationship, keeps girl interested and attracted to him into the future.

And again, as I’m sure you know…

In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation and both of them know it.

In story #2, BOY is the one who’s in control of the situation.

If you look at your experience with women, I’m sure you’ll see that these short stories describe MOST of the experiences you’ve had.

Now, of course there are slight twists and variations, but the message is clear:


If you don’t understand ATTRACTION and how it works, then you are destined to keep playing out these same stories for the rest of your life. It’s very unlikely that you’ll stumble upon the “magic solution” by accident…


The reality is that you CAN stop this negative pattern if you WANT to.

But the key is:

1) Understanding how ATTRACTION works for WOMEN.

2) Understanding YOURSELF, so you don’t ALLOW yourself to act like a Wussy, become boring and turn a good thing into a bad one… but instead you do the RIGHT things to keep everything on the right track.

If you know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you can control your destiny with women. If you DON’T know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you cannot control your destiny with women.

Read that paragraph again, and think about it for a minute before you go on.

OK, so I mentioned that ATTRACTION is very different for women than it is for men.

Different how?

What do I mean by that? … Well, generally speaking, for a woman, ATTRACTION is a PROCESS… not an “event”. It happens over time, and it becomes stronger or weaker depending upon how well the man in the situation understands how it works.

For a man, ATTRACTION is much more of an “event”, meaning that it’s either there or it isn’t. It really doesn’t matter whether or not the woman understands how it works. (As an interesting side note, if a woman really knows how ATTRACTION works, and her intention is to manipulate a man, it usually works VERY well.)

So, think of a woman’s “Attraction Mechanism” more like a volume knob than a light switch.

It’s like a fantastic, classy old car that needs to warm up for a long time before you can drive it… not like a brand new Honda that you can start up and get right on the freeway with.

Here’s a little secret about women and ATTRACTION: If you’ll just take a little longer in every situation to AMPLIFY a woman’s ATTRACTION, she’ll love you for it… and you’ll experience rewards that will make the extra time you spent seem like the best investment of your entire life.

Here are a few specific tips for you for the “Meeting Phase”:

1) Start with something STRONG, not WEAK.

When a guy finds a girl interesting, he usually turns into a ball of nervous mush. Then, he usually makes the mistake of letting the woman KNOW that he’s nervous and weak.

Don’t do it.

Do something STRONG.

Challenge her.

If she thinks that she’s cool, make fun of her. If she’s smart, argue with her a little. If she’s doing something, tell her that you could do it better.

When you PUSH a little, and show some BACKBONE, she’ll push back. That’s your sign that the GAME IS ON.

If you just chase after her like the 100 other Wussies that have been bothering her this week, you will just be another boring, predictable face in the crowd.

2) Keep the TENSION UP.

One of my favorite concepts is “Never let the line go slack”.

This means that once you SPARK the “chemistry” or “sexual tension”, you need to KEEP IT UP.

Just because she starts doing things that hint to you that she’s interested, doesn’t mean that it’s time to STOP. Quite the opposite, actually.

Turn UP the volume a little. It’s working, so do more! Sexual Tension is SO important that I’ve actually devoted an entire “language” and way of thinking about it. If you want to learn how to create Sexual Tension, then use it to really amplify ATTRACTION and arousal, then take a minute and look at this:

3) Tease.

The word “tease” has a couple of meanings.

One of the meanings has to do with doing things that are slightly annoying to get a response from someone.

The other meaning is subtly different and has to do with drawing out a response that you want by doing certain things that indirectly trigger it.

Do both.

If you’re about to kiss her, wait until your lips are so close that you can almost feel her… and then STOP. Pull away, and smile.

If you want to know how she feels about you, say, “You LOVE me” in a condescending tone of voice, and see how she responds. If she says “NO I DON’T!” in an exaggerated, mocking way, then she probably DOES “love” you.

Teasing is fantastic. Do more of it.

And here are a few tips for the “End Up” phase:

1) Never become BORING.

Being predictable and boring is a cardinal sin when it comes to ATTRACTION.

Don’t do either.

Of course, telling a man not to be predictable is like telling a dog not to hump your leg.

Most guys are PAINFULLY predictable.

We LIKE being predictable, actually. I get it.

But, when it comes to a woman you enjoy, you’d better figure out a way to STOP IT.

There’s nothing that will kill the sparks faster than her knowing what you’re about to do or say.

2) Don’t hand over control.

Women like men who make decisions and take the lead. Now, I’m not saying that women like men who are overly controlling. What I am saying is that women don’t like guys who are always saying things like, “I don’t know, what do YOU want to do, baby?”.

Women don’t want men that they can control, so don’t be one.

3) Respect yourself and keep your own interests.

When a guy meets a woman he likes, he often wants to spend as much time as possible with her.

This is natural, of course.

But there’s a big danger here as well.

If you put your life aside for a woman, you will become less interesting to HER.

In the long run, it’s MUCH better to keep your friends, your interests, and your hobbies, and to spend time doing the things you enjoy… WITHOUT HER.

And I think it’s VERY important to keep improving yourself as a person, and continue to be a guy that she can look up to and respect.

As soon as you start acting like she’s going to be around forever, she’ll start feeling less and less ATTRACTION for you. If you want to learn more check out David’s fantastic e-book Double Your Dating. Click here to read reviews and learn more!

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About David DeAngelo David DeAngelo is the author of Double Your Dating, and the creator of programs like Advanced Dating Techniques. He has spent the last 15 years educating men on how to improve their dating life, self confidence, and inner game.  You can read 22 of his David DeAngelo's best articles here.

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