Help Writing Emails
This Dave M post is for all of you online daters out there. If you’re having trouble figuring out what to say then I suggest you read this post, and check out his course Insider Internet Dating.
Having Trouble With Emails by Dave MÂ
According to various internet statistics, there are
over 50 million active subscribers to dating
services…. that’s just in the U.S. alone.
If you’re single and looking, this is something you
absolutely should NOT overlook.
Arguably the biggest hurdle most guys have to
overcome is that very FIRST email. I get emails
daily from guys asking exactly what they should
put in their emails so they get read and responded
Because of my direct marketing background, and
being a fanatical tester of what works and what
doesn’t work, I’ve been able to isolate several
key factors which should always be present
when you’re communicating to a woman online.
More about those in a minute…
Before we get to them, let’s talk about something
even more important to your success in writing
WHAT’S GOING ON IN HER HEAD?
The more successful you are at putting yourself
in a woman’s shoes who’s using the internet to
meet guys, the more successful you’ll be in
getting women to respond to your emails.
The more sensitive you are to what she’s going
through, the more persuasive you can be, the more
rapport you can have with her, and consequently,
the more she’ll trust and agree with you.
Put yourself in the shoes of a woman who’s
being bombarded with emails daily from men.
When you’re trying to create that interest
with a woman online, you need to create
rapport, a great way is to ‘make yourself
What common interests do you share?
Was there something in her profile that caught
You shouldn’t forget that with email, people
generally see it as more private/personal
than your profile… people know that a profile
is written for everyone to see.
When you send an email, the perception is
that it should be personal, because emails
typically are personal in nature. Therefore,
use this to your advantage
It’s absolutely critical you write as if you’re
speaking to ONLY HER. Don’t speak AT her,
or TO her, speak with her.
Some keys to emails that get women to reply:
You MUST personalize every message you
send out. Women have a BS detector and
can smell a copy and paste email a mile
away. Even if you just use her screen name
1 time, make it personal.
Talk about her profile, let her know in some
way that you actually READ her profile.
Compliment her on something you find
interesting about her… something you’re
intrigued about. Remember the best way to
get someone interested in you is to become
interested in them first. I have this 2 step
system I use called:
ENGAGE & EXPAND.
Rather than tell you all about it, here’s a quick
To ENGAGE, you can say something such as:
‘I read you’re into _____ Thats really cool.’
Then you EXPAND on it by adding:
‘I’ve always been interested in _____, how
long have you been into it?’
Very simple, but VERY VERY effective.
AN INTRIGUING SUBJECT LINE
What’s the very first thing a woman sees when
you send her an email?
No, it’s not your photo, no it’s not your email…
it’s your subject line. What you place in that
subject line is critical to your email even getting
The subject line should create intrique and almost
force the woman to want to open it… because it’s
Women will tend to open emails if they’re more
conversational in style and more personal, rather
HOW TO ENSURE YOUR EMAIL GETS READ
I always suggest looking through your own inbox
and seeing the subject lines which stand out to
you. Which ones capture your attention IMMEDIATELY?
In your subject lines mention something unique
about her profile. For instance… If she’s into
shooting pool, your subject could be something
‘Hey [her screen name], so you think you can
WHAT DO YOU SAY FIRST?
The first sentance is arguably the part most
guys have the biggest problems with. If the
subject is the most important part of the
email itself, then the 1st sentance is the
most important part of the body.
The goal of your first sentance should be to
introduce yourself and to estabilish rapport.
Start by saying something you’d say to a
Make sure your emails are written in a
conversational style… like you’re emailing
a friend of yours. You can ALWAYS tell when
someone’s sending a copy and paste email….
because the email is usually very ambiguous
and says nothing specific about that woman’s
You have an intriguing subject line, an
inviting first sentance, used some humor in
the email, and now you’ve got to seal the
This is where you need to insert a CTA. This
stands for Call To Action. Simply put, what
do you want the woman to do as a result of
reading the email?
Answer that question and you have your CTA.
I have a rule with each step in my system….
Every step only has ONE CTA. This is where most
guys mess things up. They give women too many
options, or none at all.
Tell the woman what you want her to do next,
you can say something like…
‘Read the email and get back to me…’
‘I’ll be looking for your response’
‘let’s see your answers to the questions…’
Learn more by checking out Insider Internet Dating. The number one course on the subject.
About MikeStoute Michael Stoute here, and at your service. I am a writer/editor/lover and a fighter. My words are weapons of wisdom so watch out, you may learn something...or better yet, maybe you can teach me something! Have a question? Please try to leave it in the comments, it will get a faster response than an email. Otherwise, Email Me