How To Succeed With Women Without Dating

Here is a Derek Vitalio post about avoiding dating. Dating sucks. I think we’ll all admit that. Here’s a way you can avoid them and still have fun.? Seduction without dating, I like it!

Get Laid Without Dating by Derek Vitalio

You know why most guys cant get dates?

Because they try to get dates.

You think Im going to talk to you about some Buddhist you-cant-get-what-you-most-want thing here, and I am, in a way.

Just not the way you expect it.

Listen, if you set yourself up in a date situation, youre setting yourself up for failure. Youre giving her an opportunity to say no. Even if you get the yes, you are setting yourself for an awkward encounter.

Most of all, youre setting yourself up for judgment.

Thats not we do here in seduction science land.

You dont want to activate her rational mind ? youre just asking for a whole slew of bad things to happen.

Her rational mind is the one that goes about picking mates. And unless you REALLY like spending months unsatisfied and a large floral bill, that isnt the way to go.

You can start a relationship with a girl WITHOUT all that if you want and you can have a purely physical relationship with a girl without all that, if you want. You have to trigger her on an emotional level. An attraction level.

And that means, NO DATES. The worlds a funny place.

So what do you do instead? You go on INSTANT dates.

Let me explain.

If youre conversing with a girl and everything is going well, LEAD her somewhere. It can just be across the room, but LEADING is a powerful thing. More than youd ever guess.

Say Hey, I want to show you something. Or I want to tell you something. Take her hand ? if she returns a squeeze you know youre in ? and then have a little nugget ready to legitimize your leading. It can be a silly prop you carry with you, or a charming line youve worked out, just make sure it isnt TOO corny. Be the good boy scout we all know you are, and be prepared for this.

By the way, if youve made out a little by this point, thats a teeny help. As you might imagine.

If you feel a little strange doing this leading, then get her ready to accept it. How? Get her saying yes.

Do you like to have fun?


Are you adventurous?


I dont show everyone this, but want to see something special?


That was easy, wasnt it? People tend to feed off patterns, and if you get her agreeing with you, her natural tendency will be to continue.

By comparison, you dont want to ask too many negative questions.

You arent a weirdo, are you?


You dont fly off the handle easily, do you?

I dont think so.

Want to see something?

Uhh, not really.

That exchange makes sense too ? just not the kind of sense we want to make.

So get her saying yes, and take her to another part of wherever you are ? a corner of the club, a table at the bar, a desk at the library. Use physical contact ? but slightly undefined. You dont want to be a schoolmarm about it, but you dont want to be a lounge lizard either. You dont want her knowing exactly WHAT it is.

Then, keep going with STEPS. Your goal shouldnt be to get her in bed, you should try to simply get her to the next STEP. If you say Lets ditch the losers youre hanging out with and have sex in my Chevy, well, that might work with a few (VERY drunk) women, but for the most part, that aint gonna work.

Call it a hunch.

The woman wants to feel that the progression is natural she wants to be able to tell her girlfriends later I dont know how but it just worked. It just happened!

Small steps feel natural.

Sexual propositions in the first five minutes do not.

So once youve led her somewhere, lead her again. Take her to a new venue ? you dont need to separate you from her group, nor do you need to diss your buds. You simply need to go somewhere new TOGETHER.

Congratulations. You just reframed the world, and now youre in it together. Instead of a serious deliberation of whether she wants to go out with you, and her judging the way you play with your jello, youve created a bond with her. And youve done it in a natural way.

MUCH better.

Next step? Well, usually one place hasnt cemented the bond, so a second stop is often in order. As the night goes on friends will peel away, but if youve created attraction in your target, she wont.

Yeah, maybe she really DOES have to be up at 4 am to pick up her sister at the airport. Mostly, though, those are just excuses if shes having second thoughts about the NATURAL progression of the evening. Its your job to create enough sparks that she will convince herself to stay with you, even if she DOES have a sister coming in on the red-eye.

If the attraction is there, sleep becomes secondary.

Next, you need to get her to your place. Some guys like to need a ride since their friends have left earlier, or some like to offer one. Personally, I like to use her car, since it sets you up to arrive at your pad first.

Earlier in the evening, you should have planted a seed excuse to get her inside. Perhaps youve talked music and theres a CD she should borrow or theres the video clip you simply must show her… or you could just say "This is fun, lets keep talking whatever it is, it needs to be INSIDE.

By this point in the evening, if youre expecting to get further, you should have already been physically intimate, probably at the first spot where you met. If you have, once youve got her in your dwelling, it should be an easy transition into some serious lurve.

If you havent laid the physical groundwork, this can be much more difficult, but its still possible. Shell probably be hesitant to come in (pre-kiss, youre an assault risk, post-kiss, youre a guy shes physically attracted to) but if she does, that probably means she wants to keep going.

This is NOT an excuse to force yourself on the lady. There is NEVER a time that is appropriate outside SM play, anyway.

Thats not about attraction or sexiness. If youve got the chemistry going, shell WANT to keep going and if she doesnt, that usually means you simply need to step back and build up the sexual tension to a good level.

Get her on the bed. Give her a taste of that massage technique you talked about earlier that shirt sure does get in the way, doesnt it? Lets get rid of that… can you see where this is going?

The important thing is to take everything step by step, making sure she is comfortable at each stop along the way, and most importantly, feeling ATTRACTION. Otherwise, youll never make it up the ladder.

If you HAVE got the attraction happening, though, and lead her up a gradual slope with the pinnacle in your bedroom, youve just found the way to skip the date and get to the good stuff.

This applies even if it doesnt occur in a single night ? when you meet a woman, you should avoid date situations, and instead go with Im doing this, why dont you come too? That kind of attitude ALWAYS beats Id like to take you out sometime.

Do it right, and youll be able to choose whatever approach you prefer, from pursuing the one night stand to carefully screening the women who MIGHT experience the joy of your bed over a few meetings. Pick your pleasure.

Just steer clear of traditional dates. Unless your goal is an improbable marriage to someone who, for all you know, could be a virgin. Lord knows youve never touched her.

If thats your goal, by the way, stop reading and burn your computer now.

If your goal is to meet a LOT of women and pick one (or more) who are right for you, then keep studying, grasshopper. The above wisdom is useful, but without the proper tools and knowing how to create interpersonal magic with ladies as you choose, its a nice dream, is all. If you want to know more about how to create that ATTRACTION and move from sexual tension to bedroom release, you should check out my NEW course, Seduction Science, 3rd Edition. Take a look, and see how YOU can consider making out on the dance floor just another step on the way to greater rewards.

Until next time,

Your Friend,

Derek Vitalio

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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