Secrets of Eliminating Negative Thought Loops
Good article by Derek Vitalio about developing a stronger mind frame. And as we all know confidence is the name of the game.
Eliminate Negative Thoughts by Derek Vitalio
School is a pretty interesting thing. Its only really been around for the past 150 years or so “ before that, what we now call schools were mostly seminaries for theological study. There was the odd medical bend here or there, but it was only a place for the extremely wealthy and well-connected.
Why is that? Most people were farmers or owned their own small businesses, and that could be done any number of ways. You learned the family trade or apprenticed in a craft, and that took care of your intellectual knowledge needs.
A child would spend most of his time with other children in play, learning social interactions. More time was also spent with adults “ relatives or master craftsmen “ observing how they succeeded or failed in their relationships.
Then came the industrial revolution. Suddenly, organized education from a young age became a necessary standard. Why?
Whether by design or not, schools were exceedingly good at one thing “ teaching discipline. Teaching order. Teaching you to OBEY.
Thats not to say you didnt learn obedience in the old system. But it was a different sort.
Instead of obeying your elders and relatives, you were taught to follow orders from a wide variety of adults. Instead of rules that had a logic behind them “ if you dont feed the pigs now, theyll die! “ schools often have rules for the sake of rules “ if you dont sit in the same seat in the same row all year the teacher will have to think harder to remember who you are!
School is in many ways dehumanizing. Thats a great thing for producing workers for factories. For producing cogs.
Its a terrible thing for development of the individual. One main affect of school is STANDARDIZING individuals to more closely resemble each other.
Whats more, instead of having most of your time with your peers at play “ learning social interaction, the way lion cubs mock-fight “ you spend most of your time taught NOT to interact.
The teacher is speaking, not you.
We talk about learning social skills in recess “ but the time in the classroom is often working in just the opposite direction.
It can really warp a young mind.
College is different, but by then the damage is done. You might be allowed to develop your individuality to a greater degree by then, but most dont.
So why are we talking about the education system in a seduction article? Simple.
Women arent attracted to cogs. They are attracted to INDIVIDUALS, LEADERS, men who arent afraid to CHALLENGE them.
Weve been taught to obey people with power. Women hold the key to sex, which equals power, which equals our obeisance.
Women HATE that. Not only does it make you WEAK, it makes you BORING. And nothing is worse than boring.
Plus, when we start to get to an age where we start wanting ROMANTIC and SEXUAL communication, we have no idea what to do. After all, we barely ever spoke to fellow boys “ let alone girls. We were taught to sit silently beside them, but were barely allowed to work out how to interact during our youngest years.
We DO know the teacher is happy when we obey, though. So most of us think that OBEYING is the best way to make someone else happy. That and being smart. Smart answers make the teacher happy too.
Guess what? That has NOTHING to do with attraction, and in terms of obeying a woman, it has the EXACT opposite effect. It makes you appear weak, you get no respect out of it, and you CERTAINLY dont get closer to your goal.
Most of us eventually learn much of this, and we successfully break out of the mold.
Except when it comes to women. Sex is SO important to us that we REALLY dont want to screw up our chances. So we fall back on our bad habits.
Im here to tell you, its OK to disagree with someone. Its OK to say things that others might not like. Even if they dont like what youre saying, theyll like the fact that you SPEAK YOUR MIND.
Women respect that.
Of course, rarely do people spell that out, and even rarer still are good examples of it at a young age.
So most men are taught to kow-tow, and then wonder why they aint gettin none. The fact that most modern men misunderstand the concept of chivalry aint helping (hint: its about respecting and “ occasionally “ protecting a woman, not obeying her every whim).
Dont get me wrong “ dont be mean and defiant. But likewise, dont just lay down and hand your balls over at every opportunity.
Example: when a woman says something like My ass looks fat in this dress, doesnt it? DO NOT immediately say No baby, you look great in everything! Instead, in a playful manner, say Well, I wasnt going to say anything, but
Have fun with it. Spice up your conversation with saying interesting unpredictable things dont just say what you think she wants to hear.
That brings us to our first assignment: the Constanza Exercise. For the next week whenever a woman asks you a question looking for a particular response, dont give it to her. Say the OPPOSITE of what you think is right.
Make sure you stay playful. The affect should be comedic and fun, not rebellious (although that can work too, but unless youre very practiced in it, you are likely to just look like a jerk). If youre a naturally serious guy, great, youve got a leg up on everyone else. Youve got the straight man routine down, which is the most effective way to deliver funny things.
If you havent done anything like this before, itll take awhile to get the tone right. Thats ok “ this is a learning experience, and even Picasso started with stick figures.
Start a seduction journal. Write down your observations of what works and what doesnt. Watch reactions. Go ahead and be a scientific observer thisll help you detach from your emotional responses and take a more rational approach. Itll also help you deal with any negative reactions you get “ which, during the experimental stage, you are likely to encounter now and again.
Thats ok. You need to work through it. If you gave up after you fell a few times, youd never learn to walk. Trust in the progression.
Keep this exercise going until you feel comfortable saying UNEXPECTED and even CONTROVERSIAL things to women, but all the while you keep it PLAYFUL. Thats a great base for what will come later. If you want to experience even better exercises to make yourself irresistible to women, check out my Seduction Science System. It is jam packed with everything you need to take your seduction skills to the next level.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.