Can You Flirt Like This?
Here is another installment from Stephen Nash’s Master Series. Stephen has a highly praised book out called How to Get a Girlfriend.
Good Flirting by Stephen Nash
Did you successfully open a conversation with a woman yesterday?
Did you have any heart-pumping experiences?
In my experience, I’ve found that it’s nowhere near as bad as our
minds think it will be.
If you didn’t engage any women yesterday. Stop reading this email.
You need to GO OUT and DO. Just do it naturally, in a normal
setting. Perhaps asking her “Do you have the time?” Just get warmed
up, and go one step at a time. If you need to, come back to this
email after you’ve completed that task. Don’t shortcut you’re
success by skipping essential steps!
Seriously, if you didn’t do it. Don’t read on. There is nothing ahead
that will help you if you couldn’t engage a woman. It’s in your inbox,
just go back and read it, and get out and engage!
On to The Master Class Series: Flirting.
This is one of my FAVORITE skills to learn.
Do your conversations tend to lack sexual tension, and border on a
Do you wish you had the flirting power that some of the actor’s
have in movies?
Do you wonder why some guys have girls hanging off them, and some
Are you TOO cocky in conversations, and you can feel it working until
you hit a nerve and realize… not again?
The essential skill…
1. To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures.
2. To deal playfully, triflingly, or superficially with: flirt with
3. To move abruptly or jerkily.
Sexual tension is easily the hardest concept to get when working
with men who struggle with women, dating and relationships. Most
men lack the ability to understand it, and then how to work with
it. The primary way to influence sexual tension is via flirting.
Sexual tension is essentially when there exists polarity, magnetism
or, as we like to call it, “attraction”. The largest misnomer that
exists is that one can create attraction – this is FALSE. Do I have
your attention now? Attraction is based on polarity and magnetism,
NOT on the external elements you are probably obsessed with right
now…”what do I say”, “what should I wear”, “how should I stand”…
Now, the only way that I can influence the women that are attracted
to me is to enhance my internal self-image first, followed by
consistent, deliberate efforts to harmonize that with my lifestyle
and personal look.
There is no way that you will learn a bunch of scripts, lines and
tactics to “create attraction” – again, this is false.
My “How To Get A Girlfriend” ebook is THE BEST product on the
market to transform both the internal belief system and the external
vibe and look to represent YOU in the most powerful, attractive way.
Anything that does not focus on both the internal and the external is
incomplete, and not as helpful.
You might, however, learn how to influence attraction WHEN IT
ALREADY EXISTS. The fact that she is laughing and touching you
while you run routines and lines does not mean she is attracted, it
means she thinks you are FUNNY – not a bad thing certainly – but it
rarely converts to dates. This should explain flaking to you… and
why it is so incomprehensible… she was never into you in the first
So, learning how to recognize “attraction” is important. But, for
now, lets assume it is already there, and that you are now
attempting to enhance this polarity, and escalate the interaction
with greater sexual tension.
In short, flirting is where we push away with our words, and pull
towards with our energy. So, a classic scenario is where the man
treats the woman as being slightly beneath him in coolness (I
emphasize slightly, as too much comes across as cocky – which
signals insecurity). You might call her a “brat”, while smiling at
her – the word “brat” is an insult, but the smile is an invitation.
Perhaps that’s a definition – “an inviting insult”. Witty banter
has forever been used as a tool to rise socially – particularly in
European cultures of the 16th & 17th centuries. See the film
“Ridicule” for a prime example of this.
It takes some balls to flirt, as it indicates automatically a
sexual interest, which is uncomfortable for many men (particularly
those lacking in sexual experience).
What you are looking for are opportunities to insult her, point out
her flaws (not physical, of course), treat her like a little sister
that you don’t take seriously. Do all of this though with a SMILE –
you don’t want to be taken at face value here. By pushing/pulling
all in one we mix brain signals, and engage her emotionally. This
is the clearest way to communicate that you are comfortable around
her, and that she can be comfortable around you too.
The best flirtatious comments are created in the moment, based on
what she is revealing to you about herself at that moment. Flirting
is basically the art of insulting, but doing so with a smile.
Here are some great examples of flirting:
(If she is asking lots of “testy” questions) I like that you are
asking so many questions, it shows that you are both curious and
intelligent. You remind me of Polly Matson who used to sit front
and center in 5th grade to impress the teacher with hard questions.
(then, if she continues asking questions, refer to her as “Polly”)
(If she teases you about your clothing) You’re clearly Melissa
Rivers’ long lost sister…
(If she condescends to you in ANY way) “Ok, Lucy from Charlie
Brown… we need to get you a football and a little blue dress…”
Now, if you struggle with flirting, I suggest taking these (or the
many other examples that you can find out there) and practicing
them on women LIVE. I strongly believe in using the scripts from
the community to learn the SKILLS – but then drop the training
So, the above should get you started at least. What you are
looking for though is the FEELING of flirting – so, when is there
an opportunity to flirt? How does it feel to do it? What are her
reactions to the things I say? Is the intent being communicated? Am
I coming across too harshly? IS SHE HAVING FUN?? (that is the
Ultimately, if YOU are having fun then you will definitely
translate your sense of humor clearly. If you are inexperienced,
you are likely to mix the signals. But, guess what, you might have
to bomb a time or two in order to clean up your signals – there is
no replacement for live experience.
Also, head out with a friend to practice – use the principles I
outlined yesterday in my article on engaging women in conversation,
then follow those up with the ideas I detail here.
If you can do this a few times, you will start to “GET IT” and
explode your conversations with power.
Become a flirting machine, because you’ll use it constantly in the
interaction, and relationship if you choose. It’s an essential step
that most guys tend to skip, or FAIL at miserably.
In four days, you’ll learn how to act like a TRACTOR BEAM and PULL her
into your world through STORYTELLING. Stay tuned, and practice flirting
before you get it!
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.