Do You Tell Stories More Addictive Than Cocaine?
Here is another article from Stephen Nash. I’m really enjoying his newsletters and considering purchasing his ebook, How to Get a Girlfriend. Does anyone have any feedback on it? You wouldn’t believe how important it is to be able to tell a good story– Bobby
Telling Good Stories by Stephen Nash
Men who are naturally successful with women almost always have
a sincere interest in life, and in living it to the fullest. We are
going to talk at length about passion, and its relevance to being
attractive in the final chapter, but I will touch on it here as it
relates to storytelling. These “naturals” also seem to have a lot
of activities going on, where they are able to test themselves, and
grow as men. Their life is interesting. It brings a lot of
fascination and intrigue all because they have an open mind, and
choose to explore it.
One way that this serves to help them in their lives with women
is that they have interesting stories to tell. Women (and all
people) are captivated by a good story. The best storytellers
always fill their words and tales with drama, humor, passion,
intrigue and mystery. Next time you are at the beach, notice what
kinds of books women are reading while they sunbathe. This summer,
I seemed to see a lot of romance novels, as well as mystery and
suspense novels. Women are most often led by their emotional
center, and when they find something (or someone) who understands
how to communicate with them in an emotional way, they get
What might be some topics to focus on when considering what
stories to tell while in the presence of women? Here’s a list:
– Pop Culture
– Emotionally charged memories & experiences
– Humorous stories from your life
These topics are great because they are entertaining, exciting,
funny and generate positive emotions. Also, the more interested you
already are in a certain topic the better. This helps you to be
enthusiastic when telling your story, a necessary prerequisite for
capturing someone’s attention. If you have a natural interest in
one of the above topics, it makes sense for you to want to share
stories from your life that reflect this interest.
So, what are some ways that we can develop this skill called
1) Pay attention (see the world around you, and develop an
eye/ear for a good story)
2) Learn to communicate via emotions (as opposed to logic)
3) Live passionately
Let’s spend a minute now with each of these topics.
Pay attention: People tend to sleep walk through their lives.
Great poets seem to always highlight this when they discuss the
smallest things, which most of us don’t see and appreciate. As you
go through your life, pay attention to what you see. Recently, I
saw a middle-aged man who was rather upset at a neighborhood kid.
The kid had apparently just bumped the man’s shoulder while walking
down the street. So, the man turned and started yelling at the kid.
However, the man failed to realize that the kid was wearing
headphones and couldn’t hear him. So, as he got louder and louder,
the kid simply stood there, waiting for the light to change,
without a care in the world.
Those of us around the man noticed this, and couldn’t help but
chuckle at his futility. This story illustrates a couple of things.
First, this man wasn’t paying attention, and therefore made a fool
of himself on the street.
Second, this makes for a great story when communicating with women.
Why? It is funny, it involves men behaving foolishly, and it is
visual. A story that is visual is excellent because the listener
can imagine the events in her mind bringing her closer to the
reality of the event. When telling a story, remember to paint the
picture for someone. Get them involved by creating clear images of
what is happening.
Great storytellers are comfortable using their body, facial expressions
and voice to illuminate the story. This allows them to enter into that
world, and have a similar experience of the story as you had when
witnessing it. This strengthens the connection between the two of you,
painting an attractive portrait of your world. Makes sense right?
Each day of your life is full of scenes, scenarios, and happenings
that make for good stories. Also, many men forget that women like
it when we make fun of ourselves. It communicates that you are secure
with yourself. If you can tell a funny story which pokes fun at
yourself, illustrates that you are human and are comfortable with that,
you will get great reactions from women – TRUST ME.
I want to emphasize the importance of paying attention to what
is happening around you. This can help you in all areas of your
life, not just in relating to women. No one’s life is so boring, so
lacking in humor, beauty and drama, as to prevent them from having
any interesting stories to relate to others. Here is an appropriate
mindset: you find your life interesting, and the world fascinates
you; you, naturally, wish to convey this to others as you are a
very social guy; you want others to come into your world so you
invite them in with a story.
Learn emotional communication: If women could hit us all over
the heads, and in a flash change one thing about men, it would be
that we are not in touch with our emotions. In order to communicate
emotionally, we first must be in contact with our own emotional
lives. This means being open to how we are feeling, each and every
moment. (Check out David Deida’s “Blue Truth” for more on this)
Emotional communication is where you speak in a way that
creates emotions in the listener. The way to do this as a
storyteller is to invite the senses and emotions into the story.
This means to recreate the images that you observed, and sounds and
smells you experienced, and anything you physically felt as a
result of the experience. You must do this with your words,
conveying these words with feeling and emotion.
Men tend to be stoic, stiff, logical people, governed more by
their intellect while women tend to be more emotional, centered in
their feelings. The “natural” is not stiff; he is relaxed and
unafraid to convey emotions. He relates a story from his life with
real feeling and he sympathizes with women intuitively. At the same
time he offers them strength and challenges them to face things in
a more balanced way. He is unafraid to give himself to something
with a great deal of passion. The next time you go to a bar, or
club, or somewhere where people are socializing, notice the men who
have women with them. Are they the stiff, nervous-looking guys who
are mostly silent and appear as a deer in headlights when
face-to-face with a beautiful woman? Nope. Are they the relaxed,
confident guys who are just having fun, joking around with people,
sharing the moment and their life lightheartedly, without the
appearance of being under a lot of pressure? Yes.
So, the first key to storytelling is to relax, and open up.
Feel free to feel your way through an interaction with a woman. I
encourage all men to be open to their emotional lives. Endeavor to
see that you, along with many people, have rich emotional lives.
When you are open emotionally, it allows you a great resource with
which to relate and connect with others. This can help you get
closer to other people (particularly women). This doesn’t require
therapy, or analysis of any kind – unless you have severe
challenges. Learn to laugh, and enjoy yourself; learn to have
compassion for others; learn to sympathize; learn to challenge
yourself and others to live fuller lives. See what I mean by this?
This doesn’t mean to indulge in negative emotions (jealousy, fear,
depression, anger etc). It does mean to be more social, more open,
and more involved in the world around you.
Once you open up and begin to trust and listen to yourself, you
will begin to notice many cues that were always there before, but
that you were unaware of… why? You weren’t paying attention, that’s
This is an invaluable skill when storytelling because it adds a
dimension to it that women strongly relate to – an emotional
In two days – The Master Class Series: Baiting… it’s the granddaddy
of them all, and NORMALLY it can only be found in my products and
Till then… practice your ENGAGING, FLIRTING, AND STORYTELLING.
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.