Best Practices for Getting Her Out With You
Here is the 2nd part to a newsletter Sebastian of Master the Vibe recently sent out. His stuff is always worth reading! I really like his text message idea! – Bobby
Best Practices For Getting Her Out With You by Sebastian Drake
After you get a girl’s number, you’re going to want to take her
out. But calling and trying to set up a traditional date a few days
in advance is often a losing proposition when the girl flakes, and
you’re left… wondering.
Yesterday, we talked about social backup planning. Girls often
accept plans with a “yes” when they really mean “if it’s the best
thing going on at the time, then yes” – guys who are used to
honoring their commitments or have busy social lives often don’t
Today, here’s a few techniques to short circuit the bidding
process. These are far superior to the held-over-from-1923 “give
her 3 days notice before a date because it’s gentlemanly” nonsense
that can prompt flaking.
Get her out:
1) The “something just got cancelled, where are you right now”?
2) “What a ridiculously fun night”
3) The Awesome Two Weeks Later Plan
1) Call her up, greet her, ask what’s up as normal, and then go on
with, “My [xxx] class just got cancelled, so I’ve got a few hours
free. Where are you right now?” Note the wording – “Where are you
right now?”, NOT “Are you free?” If you get where she is, you can
come to judgements about how free she is and where you two could
potentially go. After she lets you know where she’s at, go ahead
with, “Cool, I can come by there and we can hang for a bit.” If she
asks what you’re doing, either come up with a plan, or let her know
something along the lines of: “The company is more important than
the event – we’ll hang, chat, have a good time… we can grab
coffee or food or whatever.”
This creates a sense of urgency. Note you should be in
communication at least in the last two weeks before you call her
abruptly… this works best if she perceives you as having a busy
schedule. I say outright, “I don’t have much random free time, but
I just freed up and would love to see you.” – of course, being busy
is hard to fake. Much better to actually be busy. Another
derivative – “I thought I’d be working late, but I had to come in
earlier and wrapped up earlier…” – the idea is that you’re
offering a spontaneous get-together, and there’s urgency on the
decision. If she’s in the middle of something pressing, she’ll tell
you when you ask where she is, or just not answer her phone.
Bidding process short-circuited.
2) Ever want a girl after clubs close on a weekend night? Of course
you have! Text this: “what a ridiculously fun night” in a mass text
to every girl in the local area that you regularly text. Whoever
texts back, “what did u do?” or something along those lines – you
immediately call. She’ll answer most of the time – now go ahead
with, “Wow! Tonight’s been a blast… I don’t want it to end. Where
you at right now?” After she says, say, “Cool, I’ll hop in a cab.
On my way. What a blast” – talk on the phone the entire drive or
cab ride if possible – you don’t want to get off the phone for this
The score: It can be social suicide to call girls at 03:00 and ask
what’s up and try to chat. It screams, “I didn’t get any” if she
doesn’t answer. Of course, if she does answer, you’re in… the
best of both worlds? The text. The girls awake and bored WILL text
back, and then you suck them into a whirlwind of fun. Tried,
tested, and theApproach approved.
3) And one of my personal favorites – plan a really, really cool,
really, really fun exclusive date for two weeks or more in advance.
Sound like the opposite of all the other advice you’ve gotten so
far? Check this out:
Plan something just utterly fantastic together, like going to an
awesome concert, or otherwise a completely amazing time. Then, call
her and chat with her in the weeks leading up to the date. One of
those calls, suggest doing something right then and there, or in
another day or two (but still significantly before the major
awesome event). There’s a very minimal chance of flaking when an
awesome event is planned in for the future. Where did this get
discovered? From talking with guys who took girls to “prom”, a
formal American dance in high school. It’s hyped that people sleep
together during prom, but that’s not what actually happens. Most
times, if the couple sleeps together the first time during “prom
season”, it’s because they went out to hang out and get to know
each other better BEFORE prom.
Now, I’m not going to say actually going to the awesome event is
optional after bedding her, but y’know…
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.