There is no doubt that having standards and holding women to them is good for both value and compliance. It shows you have value in that you can afford to have standards and think well of yourself, that you deserve a quality woman. It’s good for compliance when you hold her to your standards and she tries to meet them.
On top of all that, after she meets one of your standards, you can reward her for it and show her that that qualifies her to be with you – which increases attainability.
Screening is, in short, a good thing. But a lot of times, guys have a hard time making screening questions Situationally Relevant. They aren’t able to create the context necessary to screen.
What you can do in place of screening questions is use statement-based screening. It’s screening in a way that doesn’t ask her if she meets your standards, but instead puts your standards out there and offers her the opportunity to show she meets them.
This begins to work once you’ve base compliance and she’s started to initially get attracted to you.
What you do, quite simply, is put out a statement as to what you like or don’t like. If the girl likes you, she’ll want to show she meets that standard.
Screening question: “Can you cook?”
Screening statement: “I like girls that can cook.”
This also has great application for screening in response to a story she had, where a question might be very verbose.
For instance, a great thing to screen women on is having female friends in addition to male friends. Trust me on this one, you don’t want a girlfriend that can’t get along with other girls.
So if the girl is talking about how she doesn’t like most girls and doesn’t get along with them, you can drop a screening statement: “I hear you, girls can be tough. I think it’s really important to have friends that are guys and girls though.”
This is almost guaranteed to get her backpedalling and trying to impress upon and to you that she has female friends too.
The great thing about screening statements is that they’re actually more compliance than passing a screening question. While there’s a social obligation to answer a reasonable question you’re asked, it feels to her like she’s just volunteering that she’s up to your standards when you make a statement.
And on the flipside, you’re putting less effort in – so she’s giving you more effort after you’ve put in less. A good formula.
Now, realize one last cool piece of the puzzle. Girls – especially very beautiful girls with great social skills – often use screening-based statements on men. They’ll mention in passing that they value something or other, and most men will jump to say they’re that.
Instead, a good answer is to just smile and agree with her, perhaps saying the word, “Cool.”
Girl: “I really think what car a guy drives says a lot about him.”
Girl: “I expect my boyfriends to take me out to really nice places.”
It dismisses the screen from her without being combative. You smile, and say something like, “Cool.”
Very high value stuff.
About Sebastian Drake One of the founders of Master the Vibe, Sebastian brings a background of public speaking and social science to Master the Vibe. He blends social science with his background as a writer and poet to help men use language to create unique, powerful, distinct personal images.