“There’s the Rub”

A recent text message I recieved from a girl I haven’t spoken to in awhile, who at one time I was in love with- reminded me of this dialgogue in the movie Swingers.

Okay, so what if I don’t want to give up on her? –

You don’t call. –

You said I don’t call if I wanted to give up on her. – Right. – So I don’t call either way. –


So what’s the difference?

There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up… is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can’t do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.

So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her.


Well, that sucks.

Yeah, it sucks.

So it’s like a retroactive decision then? I mean, I could, like, forget about her. And then when she comes back, make like I just pretended to forget about her?

Right, although probably more likely the opposite.

What do you mean?

I mean, at first you’re gonna pretend to forget about her. Not call her, I don’t know, whatever. But then, eventually, you really will forget about her. –

Well, unless she comes back first. –
Mm, see, that’s the thing. Somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.

There’s the rub.

There’s the rub.


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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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