Stop Being Easy
Here is a Badboy article that is so very true. Me and Michael Stoute were just talking about this very topic. We have different views on this. I tend to agree more with Badboy than he does.
Don’t be easy men by Badboy
Most guys are just way too easy for girls to get.
And that is not attractive to girls. Even if she likes you, and she is totally into you (asking your name, where are you from and all other IOI’s) don’t just dive immediately into rapport, subcommunicating outright that you want to connect, but rather give her a little bit more of a challange, so that you allow her to feel the "I want him so desperately, emotions. She wants to feel these emotions towards a man. She seeks it out, fantasizes about it, but so often they let her down. Make her feel this way and she will thank you for it.
Most guys in this game create attraction, they get IOI’s, and then they go directly all out for rapport. Which is a good process, btw, but the gap between the two should have more tension, it should be more unpredictable. Going too suddenly for rapport and totally switching off the tools you used to make her attracted can decrease her attraction. It’s not as black and white and linear as many like to think and teach. Remember to keep her hopes and fears about what will happen with the two of you active. If she thinks she has you wrapped around her finger 5 minutes in because you start trying too hard, you will lose her.
Take a look at what happens in her mind and body:
She likes a guy; he’s dominant, confident, cool, sexy, interesting, etc… And then she has an impulse that she wants to connect with him; she start showing IOIs. Her goal is "I want to connect with this guy. This is good and you want to encourage it, but if you immediately and entirely give her what she wants, then she "always gets what she wants and you are not nearly as exciting to be around anymore.
If you start giving her what she wants all the time, then she controls interaction, and for her that is boring and predictable. You are not interesting at all when she always get what she wants. This is why girls are so often attracted to jerks Jerks are interesting and present a challenge.
You can however do this without being an asshole. There is a difference between being challenging and continuing to lure her in and being the jerk who ultimately pushes her away. Learn the difference But don’t just give them what they want right away. Let them earn it. Play with her, create tension and the fear that she cannot get what she wants. Never verbalize these things directly, instead act on it.
Did ever happen to you, before you learned pickup, that a girl was immediately attracted to you and she asked your name and you were so happy to give it to her and eager to be in the conversation because she seemed to like you, that as the interaction continued, she became less and less attracted? Most of us have seen this. It’s so counter-intuitive that it’s what drove many guys to learn pickup. You should be able to just give the IOI’s back right away, but that’s not the way it is. You have to space them out a bit, especially at the beginning. As time goes on, you can dive deeper into rapport, but the more challenging you make it at the beginning, the more valuable it will be to her when you give it.
So, don’t be too easy and give her everything she wants when you move into early rapport. Continue to be attractive, funny and challenging. Resist the natural urge to try and look good in her eyes and impress her. Then, when you do finally move fully into connecting with her, she will appreciate it much, much more and you will be more attractive to her than ever.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.