How a Hotty Evolves
Below is an interesting article by Stephen Nash about how a girl evolves into a hottie… I guess by better understanding what goes on in their world, they become more easily attainable.
Hot Girl’s Mentality by Stephen Nash
Based on years of research, along with countless hours of
confusion, I feel, alas, as if I have at least begun to understand
the female psyche. This post will start a series of studies on
differing “types”. This focuses on the “hottie” mindset. When
“sarging”, guys typically face this profile (numerous times per
In my ebook “How To Get A Girlfriend” and our 7-Day Audio Program
“Natural Attraction”, we discuss, basically, how to develop oneself
into an attractive man in order to attract the RIGHT women to us.
We also discuss the necessary social skills to meet women both via
a cold approach (an important skill) and through our social circle
(equally important). Along the way to this toolbox, I had to grow
thru several stages – and one of them led me face-to-face with many”hottie’s”.
This type tends not to be open to a relationship, but is rather ata less advanced stage of evolution (a more advanced stage would beopen to a relationship and intimacy). She is eager to bestimulated. So, the man who can direct her attention and emotionsin a positive manner will get HER attention for the moment…but thiscan be fleeting…
For our purposes, lets assume she’s an only child, as this is
simpler (the impact of other sisters and brothers is large btw).
So, without any further ado, I present “Evolution of a Hottie”
(with apologies to the cast of “Heathers”).
BORN: Baby, and “cute” – hopefully cared for and loved, perhapseven slightly spoiled. Nonetheless, everything proceeds as normal- Gerbers, Teddy Bears, Cribs, Slobber, Walking, Cute Clothes etc…
PLAYGROUND: Other kids in the picture, so the “center of
attention” is now no longer. She is placed by the supervisors in
and around other girls. She learns to socialize a bit, how to
“share”, how to ask for what she needs or wants, how to
communicate. She probably takes a few bumps and bruises from theothers (boys and girls), but overall has a pretty good experienceand “likes others”.
FAMILY: If she’s a burgeoning “hottie” her family and friends of
family, are always telling her how “adorable” she is, how “cute andlovely” she is – all of which is true. She begins to feel that herappearance “matters”, and that it gets her that precious commodity,”attention”…this continues, perhaps, for many years.
SCHOOL – PHASE I: Now the first brushes with “boys” happens. Shelikely has her small group of friends, as the mothers make a pointto put them together before school begins so that they have friends(it’s the same for us boys). She now senses the beginnings offemale competition. The girls compete for the cutest lunchbox,backpack, dress, lipstick, blush…SHOES…it’s all starting to happenjust like Mother Nature intended.
They begin to sense that the “boys” like the “cute” stuff, and wearit more and more with that in mind. They also begin to”gossip”about the other girls and boys. They notice the slightest barbs ofjealousy attached to the “gossip” intended for their femalefriends. They also slowly increase their interest in the “cutestuff” as it helps them better compete with the girls, while alsogarnering much more of that precious commodity, “attention”. However, up to now, the “attention” is never attached to “romance”or “sexuality”, as that has yet to be awakened…which leads us toPhase II….
SCHOOL – PHASE II: Around the age of 9, 10 or so, girls begin tochange…puberty affects their hormones just as it does with us boys.
They now begin to feel a slight “attraction” for the boys,
sometimes before the precious “attention” and sometimes after.
Nonetheless, the competition now increases between the girls, tosee who can get the most “attention” from the boys. The “cute stuff” also now expands to include slightly (or not) revealing clothing, sexier makeup, more flashy handbags and shoes…all worn toschool in the middle grades, to impress the boys, but also to impress the girls. The girls cattiness and gossip now increases as they must struggle with their own social ladder in hopes of climbing to the top. By dragging one hottie down the ladder, the self-hottie goes up the ladder.
They like stimulation, as it evokes the feminine need for a flow of energy. The young girls, subconsciously, begin to seek this flow of energy – both in positive and negative ways. They purchase more “cute stuff” to attract a greater flow of energy to them, and they also gossip in order to climb to a higher rung where there is more attention, more energy flow, more good feelings. Perhaps her first kiss happens here, or perhaps not – either way, social status DOES depend somewhat on ones relationship to the phases of sexual initiation:
2) French Kiss
You might recognize these as the four “bases” (love our National Pastime). Boys are the same, of course, bragging about their exploits and rankings. For girls though, it is a quieter, more cunning art of bragging. They can see that the boys make constant plays for their attention and affection. To be too “easy”, would be bad for the social ladder. So, they learn to protect themselves by roaming in packs, they play subtle games with boys: feigning interest, pulling away, conjuring up tests, in order to see if he
“really likes me”. They realize now the all-powerful belief, my
body is desired, and can assist me to increase the “flow of energy”
from the outside world…let the games begin…
SCHOOL – PHASE III: She gets her first boyfriend. He’s been
carefully selected by “mother” and her “best friend”. He fits the
mold, he is strong, he has direction, he is socially very well
adapted, he makes good grades, he is going “somewhere”. He drives
up in his convertible (which “dad” bought for him last year),
wearing something very conservative and trustworthy – perhaps a letter jacket, or a v-neck sweater. He greets “mother” with a
white-smile, and she comments “We’ve heard so many great things about you”. He answers with a blush, and greets dad on the sofa who grumbles something about “having her back by 10, young man”.
He politely obliges, and opens the door for the two to leave. Shefeels a rush of excitement, to finally be alone with a boy.
They go to the local pizza parlor, and share a pie. They have a
wondrous conversation…she begins to feel something different…he likes “me”, they way he looks at me, the way he smiles at me, the way he is so polite…he likes “me”. They get in the car, as it is nearing “10pm”, and he takes her home – they kiss in the car – and she feels that rush of emotion that she has so been craving…he’s a “gentleman” and walks her to the door, much to the delight of “mother” and “dad”.
She rushes to school the next day, and tells her friends all that
happened. Some are happy for her, the others are jealous. Slowly rumors fill the air. And as they move, these rumors, vicious as they are, fall further and further from the truth. She feels her heart close, at mere mention of her behavior in the halls. However, she likes the boy, as he does her. They continue to date and, eventually have sex. Again, rumors swirl. His accomplishment is her failure. She quietly weeps inside. He proudly walks with her through the halls. As much as she might not care to admit it, the rumors hurt…
It doesn’t work out. He cheats on her. She is heart-broken. Her friends capture her in the fall, but some quietly scorn with
embittered happiness. The flow of energy in her heart has been
abruptly quieted, and then again filled with sadness. She relishes more the attention from the other boys. She even goes to parties sometimes (as all “hot” girls are invited to parties), she might even have a drink or a snort. This, of course, might lead to the occasional “encounter” – as when drunk, her desire for connection is more freed and less encumbered by her social personality – the one that keeps things “together”.
Like her, her friends are also experimenting with both bodies and substance. They all grow thru the school-girl phase together. They go out with each other, they frequent clubs and bars (where they meet the friendly-neighborhood-PUAs) – receiving massive displays of affection, and larger still plays for their attention – all from men they barely know. None seem interested in their minds or personalities – but are very interested in what lies from the neck down. They learn more social skills to protect themselves.
And secretly, they wish for an “honest man”. Instead of that
though they dress more flamboyantly, with more color and pizzazz attracting the same in reverse. These men turn out to be, unfortunately, the men they secretly wish to avoid. Yet, that is all they find. Our dearest one even finds herself giving it all away, but only on occasion. Yet she loves the affection, and the faux-connection that the nightlife brings. It also satisfies
another need – the one that has been growing along with her body all these years – that need for attention and stimulation. Lights, men, drinks, music all contribute to a huge flow of positive emotion to her – so vital to her happiness and well-being.
But, why are there no good men? She wonders…
This is the crossroads. How does she, the hottie, reconcile her
need for attention and how her body & appearance continually
delivers that AND her innate human need for real love and intimacy.
She must change – but does she? There is a middle ground, but it requires more depth and intelligence. Often, I see pain (from broken relationships, or a broken-heart) as the key to this new depth and intelligence. She must learn ways to fend-off the losers, and attract the real men. But there is a price for this education.
Like men, the real power comes when she learns what she really
wants – not what her parents or culture demand for her. She (we)must begin to know herself in a new way.
For men, we constantly sneak glances at women, we fantasize abouthaving them sexually, we make subtle (or not) plays for theiraffection. But, as far as getting past our own surfaces, we makelittle effort to – our desire at the shallow end of the pool is forsex & validation only. The “hottie’s” might desire attention at
the shallow end. Thus the mating dance begins. At the deepestpoint though, we both want love.
For her, and for us, to attract someone whom we can trust and
develop with, we must head for the deep end. On the way, you willhave to acknowledge more of what you really want, as opposed towhat merely “looks good” to the outside world.
We can have it all boys, but we gotta know what “it” is first. At
the shallow end of the pool – we don’t know much but the splashy surface…
If you enjoyed these articles I would recommend picking up a copy of his book How to Get a Girlfriend. He goes much further into these concepts… and of course gives away many secrets he’s been holding out on in the free articles.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.