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Evolution of A Chump

Here is Stephen Nash’s follow up to his evolution of a hottie newsletter. Nash’s ebook “How to get a girlfriend” is gaining steam as one of the more popular ebooks out.

Learning to Attract Women by Stephen Nash

So many guys arrive at the doorstep of the dating and seduction
community dying for advice about how to meet women, get laid and
have relationships. Many are virgins, or are rarely sexually
active. Most, if not all, are single – and they want to change
that. Good for them.

But, let’s take a look at both the profile of the Chump and his
mindset. I have found that there are often things there worth
keeping. Also, I use the word Chump to be both slightly derogatory
and inspiring – therefore, if you are a chump, you need help, and
fortunately for you, you are in the right place

All of these initial profiles will lead each “type” to a certain
fork in the road. What happens after these forks will be
chronicled at a later time. For now, let’s get inside the mind and
soul of the “chump”. What we find is surprising…

BORN: One never really knows where things went wrong. Perhaps
Daddy dropped him at birth. Or, his parents just didn’t care
enough early on. Nonetheless, so many young-uns are slighted these
days – and it’s usually evident from the word go. Often, the chump
comes from a single-parent household, broken home, or abusive
environment. Something happens to shut him down – some wound or
emotional injury causes him to shrink.

CHILDHOOD: A broken heart happens in many ways. Perhaps he was
left alone early-on, maybe he was beaten, maybe his parents didn’t
care as much as he needed, maybe he was born an alcoholic, perhaps
he witnessed (or absorbed) violence…the list is endless. My belief
is that most guys who struggle with women do so for REAL REASONS.
This doesn’t just “happen” guys. You aren’t, at essence, broken.
But, most (if not all) are suffering some kind of pain. It is most
ALWAYS evident in childhood. Little Jonny wasn’t so social in the
sandbox. Little Jonny had angry outbursts. Little Jonny didn’t
play fair. Little Jonny then got punished, reinforcing his belief
that he was “unworthy”…

EARLY TEEN YEARS: Little Jonny meets little Mary. This is where
the conflict really begins. Jonny likes Mary, and feels
“something” for her. He tries to spend time with her, and likes
making her laugh. She seems to like him too – and they sit
together and have lunch. The other kids start to laugh, and poke
fun at them both. Jonny takes this personally – as this feels like
“punishment” to him. He feels like he is doing something “wrong”
now, so he pulls away a bit from Mary. She doesn’t understand, and
changes her eating habits by hanging out with others. He is
heart-broken, and neither he nor she understands why. He further
avoids her now, confusing her while he wonders why she has also
“pulled away”. She might make moves to rekindle the friendship,
but Jonny always manages to sabotage things by misreading what is
happening. His low self-esteem continually convinces him that “she
hates me”, adding to his insecurity even more. He must find a way
to compensate for this…

MIDDLE TEEN YEARS: Needing an outlet, Jonny turns to: sports,
drinking or scholastics to make himself feel better. He escapes
into one of these three (usually) so that he can excel at
something, which salves his painful wounds. Perhaps he excels at
football, or weightlifting to help him feel like a man. Maybe he
spends his weekends drinking with the boys, in hopes of freeing his
inhibitions enough to let his real self out to breathe a bit. Or,
maybe he just digs himself into his books, searching for acceptance
via school and smarts: he’ll become a prominent business-man, and
that will teach ’em all. He, like most guys, does “get lucky” on
occasion – makes out with a girl at a party, has a date to the 10th
grade dance, even hooks up on vacation. However, he never feels he
meets really beautiful women, and his friends even come up with
nicknames for him, like: “easy”, “hoggin'”, and “lefty” to slap
around his lack of success. His broken-heart now feels angry. So,
he dives further into school, drinking or sports to salve the
greater-ache.

LATER TEEN YEARS: But, as it does with us all, he finally meets
“her”. She moves to his town from across the country, and arrives
in his neighborhood. His families mingle, as his parents want to
“meet the neighbors”. He and “her” are naturally together a lot,
that summer before his senior year. He does “nice” things for her:
takes her to dinner, buys her flowers, gives her an extra-“nice”
gift for her birthday. She really likes him, and they each other
“my boyfriend” and “my girlfriend”. School starts, and at first,
he is alas the BMOC (Big Man on Campus). He now has a beauty on
his arm, and he couldn’t be more proud. Maybe it happens at the
homecoming party, after the homecoming dance. Everyone’s a bit
tipsy, and she notices “Paul” – he is the coolest guy, and he is
“so sweet”. He has the looks any young girl would die for, and is
at his life’s peak. He’s the QB, or the pitching prospect, or the
shooting guard who makes the scouts drool…and he kisses her, and
she likes it. “Jonny” comes into the room seconds too late, only
to see them in mid-makeout. A scene insues, as Jonny flees the
party. He is “sick” for the next few days, as he cannot even leave
the house. It’s his worst nightmare. And it only fuels the fire.

COLLEGE: He is accepted at a major university, as his academics
are “so strong”. He is pre-med, which suits him as it allows him
hours at the desk, with his book, away from people. He spends a
lot of time alone, preparing for that “someday” when he will be
successful and happy. He never gets laid. Never. He stifles his
sex-drive, as it will be appeased “someday”. Occasionally a friend
will take him out for drinks, a movie, and he does sometimes meet
women. But the bitterness of his past always creeps up on him,
convincing him that either he, or she, is not “good enough”. Alas,
he graduates from Med school, and gets a job as an internist at his
city’s hospital. He looks old for his age. He is slightly
slouched over. His breath reeks of coffee usually. He does not
come out of “Grey’s Anatomy”, no, he comes from the real world.
When asked by mom if he’s seeing anyone, he laughs and says “not
now, just too busy to date”. Unfortunately, deep down, he knows he
is unhappy…

He goes to google one day, types in “dating help” or “seduction” or
“how to get a girlfriend” and the screen fills his head with
possibilities…and then he comes to us…

If you enjoyed these articles I would recommend picking up a copy of his book How to Get a Girlfriend. He goes much further into these concepts… and of course gives away many secrets he’s been holding out on in the free articles.

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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