Rule Your Social Scene Like I Do
I once contemplated writing a book titled “Social Superstar.” The book would be all about infiltrating a social scene and then being the go to guy for that scene. I must say old Bobby is a master at this.
It wasn’t something I was a natural at either. Fuck… high school was a nightmare for me. Although I was far from popular, I can boast that I threw the biggest bash senior year. It didn’t get me anywhere though, because I didn’t know how to capitalize on it. No, it wasn’t until college that I began to understand the dynamics of social power. I will say a few books definitely helped… 48 Laws of Power being one of them.
It really was after college, and after ending a three year relationship that I really came into my own as a self proclaimed Social Superstar. I have a few stories that I plan on telling real soon. “The Gang Bang” “Truth or Dare” “How bout a threesome” “The circle” I hate to tease you but these are stories I definitely plan on telling. And I promise they’ll be worth hearing. I hesitated telling them for awhile because all of the people involved would have killed me, but I don’t really talk to any of them anymore… and fuck them anyway, if they didn’t want the story told they shouldn’t have done it 🙂
Anyway, I got this email from Cutting Edge Image Consultants in my inbox, which reminded me of my plan to write “Social Superstar.” Its called Lead with power and its worth reading. Check out How to get a girlfriend.
Ruling a Social Scene by Stephen NashIf you really want to expand your social circle (and therefore meet
new people… new *women*), you will have to take the lead and make it
happen. Your friends may or may not be interested in meeting new
people. Your friends may or may not be interested on growing out of
their small comfort zone. That is why it is so important for you to
be willing to go out alone – particularly if it is something you
really want to see, or experience.
One way to lead is to organize events and activities. I used to
have a loft in Brooklyn, and would throw monthly parties as a way
to expand my social circle. After every party, I would have new
numbers of women that I eventually dated or invited to the next
party. Had I not taken the lead, and gone through the effort of
making the event happen, I would have never met these women.
Also, I made countless new friends in the process. Another fringe
benefit to throwing parties is that when you are out meeting new
people in other environments, you have an automatic way of keeping
in touch with them – “Hey, I am throwing a party next month, give me your
email address and I’ll send you an invite”. All of these new
people show up to your party, and now you are on your home turf,
meeting new people. Everyone wants to meet you because it is your
I understand that you may not have the space to throw a party, but
most people are able to throw dinner parties, right? Here is an
idea – throw a dinner party, and ask each friend to bring someone
completely new who will not know the other people there. I used to
do this a lot, and it always makes for an exciting evening.
Develop a theme around the dinner. I remember one dinner party I
threw was based on a Mediterranean theme, and another was an
evening with different ‘stews’ from around the world. Use your
imagination and have fun with it. Again, this is a great way to
meet new people. Feel free to confide in your female friends that
they are more than welcome to bring their single friends along.
Lastly, if you are totally out of ideas, throw a party in another
person’s space. Ask your friends, who happen to have the killer
house in the center of town, if they would mind if you threw a
dinner party at their house. You will manage the invites, the
decor, and the clean-up, while everyone invited will bring a dish
to the night. All they have to do is get dressed and have a good
time. If the party is going to be big, get some friends to help you
out. The basic rule of thumb is to have one person helping you for
every ten guests. So, if you can only find three other friends to
help you with the party, be sure to have no more than thirty people
attend this is supposed to be fun, right?
Ultimately, you can simply become the “go-to” guy for what’s
happening. I regularly get people together – from all corners of my
life – and head out to do something fun/new/interesting/cool here
in New York City. I simply send an email, and let everyone know
what “we’re” doing. I will typically get around 20% of people who
are available and interested. These friends very often ask if they
can bring someone, which I of course encourage. My girlfriend and I
often go out on the weekends with a group of around 10 friends in
tow. It is always more fun with others, and it is a great way to
meet new people.
If you use your imagination, and take the lead, there is no way you
can be stopped from expanding your social circle.
So, that’s 10 of 10 friends… I’m sure hope you got something positive
and helpful from this series. If you really want a final answer to
all of your dating and women woes, check out my Natural Attraction
In it, you receive 7 disks and a workbook complete with EVERYTHING
you need to know from meeting more women, to flirting, storytelling,
escalating, teasing, endless dating advice (where to go, why, what
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exercises designed to quickly and effortlessly teach you the skill
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Also, feel free to shoot me a line with any questions, and if you
don’t mind it being broadcast to the world, type the world
“mailbag” in the subject line.
If you enjoyed these articles I would recommend picking up a copy of his book How to Get a Girlfriend. He goes much further into these concepts… and of course gives away many secrets he’s been holding out on in the free articles.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.