Winning Over the Key Friend
Man, how many times have you been burned cause a girl had an annoying friend who seemed just dead set on fucking your night up. Maybe the girl was just tired, or looking out for her friend, or overly drunk, or depressed, or had to be up early… always seems there is a girl in the group who just can’t let things be.
Sometimes the target is okay with her friends misery and lets you proceed with the seduction… but more often than not she winds up comforting the friend and you’re left in the dust. The trick is that in every group there is a “key friend.” The key friend is the one who has the most influence on your target. If she’s not happy then things go downhill.
Sebastian of the approach does a good job of explaining who is a “key friend” and how to determine her from the group. He is right… if you can win over the friend it makes the battle that much easier. Below is a short article by Sebastian called “Recognizing the Key Friend” You can hear examples of how they do this in certain episodes of Master the Vibe.
Disarming Obstacles by Sebastian Drake
When you’re out at night and meet girls, they’re often in groups.
I’m going to stir up some trouble here, – you don’t need
the whole group to like you. Just one girl. “The Key Friend” – if
you win her over, and suggest your plans to her, then she’ll sell
the rest of her friends on the idea.
Here’s how to figure out who the Key Friend is… some of these may
seem weird, but after talking with tons of groups, I find these
guidelines hold up surprisingly well.
1. If the girls are close to each other in cuteness, the cuter girl
is usually the Key Friend.
2. If the girls are far apart from each other in cuteness, the less
cute girl is usually the Key Friend.
Other factors that determine it (don’t need to memorize these, just
Birthdays: If it’s her birthday, she’s Key.
Bad times: If one girl is having a bad night, she’s Key and if you
turn it around you’re in great shape.
Visitors and tourists: If one girl is a tourist and the other is a
local, the local is Key.
Working early: If one woman is working early in the morning, and the
other is not, the early worker is Key.
So some of these should ring familiar, right…? They’re just
examples. Here’s the social science behind it:
When a girl sees another girl sacrificing to spend time with you,
she rationalizes that it’s no big deal for her to spend time with
you. In absence of sacrifice, higher status is looked to for the
If the friend is much less pretty, and decides to spend time with
you, she’s sacrificing knowing it’s likely that she’ll be alone
while you woo her friend. The commitment from the prettier girl
seems small in comparison.
If one girl’s got work early in the morning and decides to come
along, then it’s not really a big deal at all for the other girl.
It’s not like she’s got to get up early, so it’s no sacrifice or
In absence of considerations of sacrifice, status comes into play.
So with two pretty girls, the slightly prettier one often makes the
call. Locals always make the call over tourists. And so on.
If you understand this concept, you can get right into building VAC
with the Key Friend, and the group falls into line. Enjoy.
theApproach: The Science of Social Chemistry for the Modern Gentleman
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.