Bobby’s Bad Karma Continues
Ever since my Myspace account was deleted I’ve been trying to repost some of the stories I had solely on there. This was a story that took place shortly after “10 years after i took her virginity.”
Its funny because i posted this on Myspace and i had a barrage of guys bashing me for preaching seducing skills yet here I am fucking it up. Well, this story can be more of a “how a PUA shouldn’t act” type story. But the truth is: everyone has a girl in their life that has just fucked up a part of them that can’t be repaired. Sure we move on, but there will always be that scar. For me that girl was Beth…
Anyway, the purpose of this story is to entertain and remind you that even us guys who’ve had their share of women… still have days where shit just seems to hit the fan.
Bobby’s Bad Karma Continues
Im sitting in the real estate office waiting for my eleven oclock appointment. Im sitting there thinking of last nights events and what a great story its going to make, when the couple shows up. I ponder telling them the story to make small talk, but decide against it. Instead I comment on the weather and snap into shitty salesman mode. I couldnt sell a drowning man a life preserver. But this job was more to keep my parents off my back, while I decide what I really want to do with my life, then to actually make money selling houses. Im starting to wish I could figure it out already because Im really getting sick of spending afternoons escorting people to houses that they are never going to buy. At least not with me doing the convincing.
Me and Fred and Linda (the prospective buyers) get back to my office. They immediately start feeding me the resistance that Im supposed to overcome and close the sale, but I dont have the patience. Instead I schedule an appointment to show them another house they wont buy. At this point I just want them to leave. I mean Fred and Linda are a great couple. I mean a really great couple. The kind that make you sick. The kind that spend Friday evening spooning on the couch, just happy to be in love. I usher them out the door. I wonder how Im going to spend my Friday evening.
I can safely say how I wont be spending it. I wont be spooning on the couch happy to be in love. No, I havent been in love in years. So I envision tonights possibilities. Here they are in no particular order.
Scenario one. I hit up a bar with Jake and friends. We scope out girls to hit on, but mostly we just comment on them and what we would like to do to them. We look like three wolves eying down prey. We all have the eye of the rapist and no girl will come within ten feet of us. Later that night we get home and talk about these girls and how the girls are easier at some other bar. We all jerk off and go to sleep.
Scenario two. I call Ivana. I try to make sense of the other night’s events to her. I attempt to apologize for the whole Jillian incident and then ask her out to dinner. I spend two hours and sixty bucks trying to show her why Im worth sleeping with tonight. She doesnt fuck on the first date. I drop her off. I jerk off and go to sleep.
Scenario three. I call Ebin, a younger co-worker of mine at my part time job at the Gap. I find out what is going on in teen world. He tells me of some party where the ratio of girls to guys is three to one. And all the girls are horny. And they all love 26 year old men with beer guts and yellow teeth. Im in, I think. Knowing ahead of time there will be four girls and three of them will have boyfriends. But..but..but one of them is always single and hes right, 19 year old girls do have some weird infatuation with sleeping with older less virile men
I decide to take my risk with choice three.
Im about to leave my office when my boss tells me to stick around for a minute. He leads me upstairs to our managers office. Bob, my boss, and Vinny, his side kick, have me cornered at a round table. Seems they feel its time for a talk. A pep talk they are calling it. They start asking me if Im happy with my production. I say, What production? they say, Exactly.
Bob who never learned the art of ending a thought goes on and on with some metaphor about taking the training wheels off. Only I keep thinking he is saying training bra, and Im wondering how he knows my plans for the night. Vinny chimes in and says, I think the point Bob is trying to make is that youve been here almost a year. The learning curve is over. Its time to make things happen. I assume you didnt intend on working for free? I shake my head. He continues, “Cause thats what youre doing.”
When I walk down stairs there is strange scent in the office. A warm familiar scent. I cant put my finger on it. As I pack up my stuff for the day she appears. Beth walks out of one of the floating offices with Tricia, a realtor, and some guy I never saw before. We make eye contact and I want to run. But instead I freeze. And I just stare at her noticing all the differences in her appearance since I saw her last about a year and a half ago. I must have been staring a little longer then I realized because Beth shouts, Hello, and awakes me to reality and all of the sudden it is completely awkward. She introduces me to Don, her fiancÃ©. My legs begin to shake. I lose balance and fall back into my cubicle. I dont know what to say, so I mutter something about having to rush off to an appointment. I grab my stuff and run out the door. Clearly conscious of the scene I just made in front of half my co-workers.
As soon as I get to the parking lot I call Phil. As soon as he picks up I remember he left for Vegas last night. Hes at the pool and all he wants to talk about is his stupid fucking trip. I mention Beth, but he just talks right over me. Blah blah blah. Im supposed to care that he was supposed to be in Niagara Falls with Penelope. She cancelled. Ive never met the girl. I imagine her to be his imaginary girlfriend. I just want some reassuring comment about Beth. Tell me Im lucky Im not the one engaged. Tell me they are all whores. Remind me I fucked an 18 year old a couple weeks ago. Jesus its been a couple weeks since I last fucked Tammy. What the fuck is going on? I hang up on Phil mid-sentence. He calls back I blame it on a bad connection. I hang up again.
I meet Jake at the Alexis for happy hour. He lets me talk. We eat wings. I see nothing wrong with the intensity I am putting down Coors Lights at four in the afternoon. In fact I order a couple shots. Cheers to ex girlfriends. Two more shots. Cheers to being single. One more shot (Jake is getting weak) Cheers to Friday nights full of possibilities. I scan my phone for a girl to call. Jake advises against it. Tina! Havent spoken to her in months. Now seems to the perfect time for a reintroduction. She answers. Funny she doesnt remember who I am. I have to fill in the blanks. Oh, she says. Just like that. Then silence. I ask her if she wants to grab a drink later. She says I dont think so. Just like that. I hang up. Another shot. Cheers to, fuck it I just take the damn shot down.
Apparently, Alexis isnt the hot Friday afternoon spot. So were off to Tequila Rose. Only neither one of can drive so we call a cab, and have to wait outside for it for twenty minutes. Which leaves me time for another drink. I upgrade to Gin and tonic. I go downstairs to take a piss. I splash my face with water. I look in the mirror and tell myself everything is cool. I lie. I dont believe me. I tell myself “you havent even thought about her in ages.” I lie. But it isnt nearly as frequent as it had been. I tell myself “she wasnt so special”. My reflection screams back, You fucked her in this very bathroom. I splash some more water on my face and head back up stairs.
Luckily when I get back up stairs the cab is waiting for me. Unlucky for me, as I am getting into the cab, two realtors from my office are walking into the Alexis and notice me. They are gracious enough to spare me the embarrassment of having to explain why I am taking a cab home from a bar at five pm. When I get into the cab, Jake asks me why my face and shirt are soaked with water. This will make a great story at the office. I quickly remember the scene I made just a couple hours ago there.
I usuallly have a nice game plan for hitting on girls in bars. But today Im just kind of winging it. Only I have no control of whats coming out of my mouth. Lucky the music is loud enough to drown out most of what I am saying. Jake has made a friend with some cute brunette I insulted. I try my luck with the bartender. A few sentences later I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn and some older woman is standing there. Shes like forty but looks alright, and I think, hey, this could be interesting. I am thinking of a witty comment, as she announces herself as the manager. Some people have been complaining. I grab Jake and tell him Ive been cut off. But he is busy with the brunette and I know I wont get him to leave. I notice people staring. I have to get the fuck out of here.
When I get outside I realize its night time. Im standing in the parking lot alone. Im drunk. Im cold. I need a cigarette. I realize that Friday has just begun, and looks like it is going to be just as wonderful as Wednesday and Thursday.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. I call Tammy. I explain that Im stranded. Fuck it. I start begging her for a ride. She gives in. I bum a cigarette from some black guy walking in. He asks me if I want some change too. I light the smoke and take a seat on the curb.
Im in the back seat of Tammys car. The back fucking seat. Shes in the front with her friend Maria. They are both rocked on cocaine. She is driving a little too fast for my taste. I tell her to slow down. She tells me, Relax old man. I say, Give me some of that coke. She reminds me that I dont do coke. I ask her where we’re going. She says that theyre going to a party. I invite myself along. She tells me that its a high school party. I say great. She says first we have to stop by Carlos’s for some more coke. I say great.
Carlos scares me. Hes some 17 year old rich little white boy home alone for the night. But his parents forgot to leave him his aderral and hes off the fucking wall. Of course we cant just buy the coke and leave, we got to sit here while they snort a line of his coke with him. On the positive side, I notice that Tammys friend Maria is giving me the eye. I have quick flash of me, Maria, and Tammy in a hotel room later.
We are at the party. They have a keg. Kids are playing beer pong. Kids. I am hanging out with kids. I feel uncomfortable. I try to mingle with a group of kids in a corner. Holler, I say, because thats what Ebin says. They look at me strange. Tammy has disappeared with some dude. I notice Maria standing alone near the pong table. I walk over to her. Shes easy to talk to. I make her laugh. I like the way this is going. The conversation turns flirty. I ask her if shes ever been with an older man. She says “no.” I say “you dont know what youre missing”. She laughs. I say “what?” She laughs again. What. “Mr. Quick Draw,” she says. “What?” She tells me, “it was a good cover up though.” I say, “what was?” She says, “telling Tammy it was to soon to sleep with her.” “It was.” She says, “you sure it had nothing to do with the fact you came before you even got in her.” I am stunned. I didnt think Tammy noticed. I try to explain. I tell her that the pussy was just so tight. This does not make it better. Soon I am alone at some stupid high school party.
I decide to walk home. I dont make it far when I decide to rest for a minute on the side of the road. I fall asleep.
What you are about to read is only a recreation, but one of an event that did actually happen about 3 years ago.
I am driving my Mercedes down the highway. Im compulsively dialing a number on my cell phone. I keep getting a stupid voice mail. I leave angry messages. I pull up to a house. I realize someones car isnt there. I park my car. I fall asleep in my car. I wake up the next morning to the sound of a car door slamming. I see a girl get out of a car and walk to her house. I run after her. I demand to know where shes been. I yell, threaten, curse, name call, and then I get calm. I watch her walk away. I walk back to my car. I decide against leaving. I run back to her house and bang on her door. I yell in to her. I kick the door repeatedly. I notice a neighbor watching. I try to leave again. I turn back around. I go to the side of her house. I yell at the window. I use the words bitch, cunt, whore, and slut a lot. Then I leave.
So there it is. Before this I was different.
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.