3 Secrets to a Natural Approach

I know I promised the “Fortaleza Nights” post but I’m still in the process of putting it all together. I am in Brazil and find it difficult to sit at a computer for more than ten minutes without feeling that I am wasting precious time But trust me, the story is worth the wait!

In the meantime I wanted to pass this good piece of advice from Stephen Nash along.  Stephen has a great ebook called “How to Get a Girlfriend” and he will also be contributing in next weeks series of “Most Memorable Pick Up Stories” by various PUAs.

Here are his 3 Secrets for making an approach go as smooth and natural as possible:

1) Casual: Looks much easier written down than when staring at the next Mrs. YOU. But, if you come on too strong to her at first, she’s going to get frightened and defend herself. To start the conversation, be as casual as possible by asking her a simple question about your environment. Also, keep your body language as neutral as possible by not turning and facing her or leaning in to her. She is much more likely to receive your approach if you can prevent the words “something is up here, I can just feel it!!” from crossing her mind. Feel free to also look away as you chat with her. Again, you are reinforcing the casual-ness of the interaction.

2) Playful: Lots of guys become Mr. Cocky when they approach women, which is a defense mechanism. Drop the cockiness, and show her your confident side by being playful. This is also called – FLIRTING – and is a MUST skill for guys who want to enhance their dating lives. You want to simply joke around, but stay away from teasing her – you don’t know her well enough for that yet. Instead, point out the humor in your surroundings, or, even better, about yourself. The more self-effacing here the better. Let her know you don’t take yourself too seriously. If you can master this, women will trust you. If women trust you, they will want to be around you. See where this leads?

3) Personal: Last, but not least, at some point you have to let her know a little bit about you. Instead of relying on the standard diet of questions (“where are you from?”, “what is your sign?”), answer these questions for her in the form of statements. Just drop them into your conversation: “Your sweater reminds me of my sister, though we are from the south, it gets cold around November. She used to wear something similar at Thanksgiving.” In that statement alone, I reveal three facts about my life: I am from the south, I have a sister, and we gather at Thanksgiving. Suddenly, you are no longer a guy she just met at the caf, but someone she is “getting to know”. There is a HUGE difference.