First Date Game Plan
This following post was sent in by Stephen Nash. Stephen recently contributed to our “Most Memorable Pick-up” series with an inspiring story. I have come to really look forward to what Stephen has to say, and have heard nothing but good things about his ebook- How to get a girlfriend. The following post is about the all important first date. First dates don’t have to be awkward events that we dread. These 7 steps by Stephen will ensure that your first date is fun and memorable. I suggest re reading this article anytime you’re getting ready to go on a date with a girl for the first time.
7 Keys to a Great First Date by Stephen Nash
My ebook How To Get A Girlfriend is all about meeting the woman of your dreams. Well, one of the larger EARLY hurdles we guys have to surmount is the always important FIRST DATE.
Your phone conversation might go a little something like this…
YOU: “Let’s meet for coffee”
HER: “Sure, sounds great”
YOU”: “See you at 8pm.”
HER: “Great, see you then.”
You hang up feeling elated at having confirmed a date with this gorgeous, fascinating woman. You will take her out for coffee,
hoping the conversation will be terrific. You hope this leads to a solid connection and the ever-challenging, second date.
Why are you already behind the 8-ball? Why are you already backed into the corner?
Why are you following the rules, “hoping” for good luck rather than being bold & spontaneous, increasing the chances of having an awesome time?
Taking a girl for coffee is a nice thing to do. Any decent, intelligent girl would think nice thoughts about you. But, how far
has “nice” gotten you in the past?
Ask yourself this question:
“Why do I play by the rules? Why don’t I use my imagination, and God-given creative instincts, to create an interesting evening?”
If you answered correctly, you said:
“Because I haven’t a clue how to do that!”
This article is intended to give you, on a silver platter no less, this very clue. Here is the “Lucky 7” list:
1) Break the rules. Why just take her to coffee, when, if you use your imagination, virtually anything becomes a possibility. Think of the date as being a way to present yourself to her. Want her to think you are ordinary, uncreative and possibly boring? Or, would you rather her see you as someone exciting and original? You decide.
2) Dress Casual-Cool. Don’t make the first date super-formal. A client of ours recently took a woman to a costume ball on a first date. They were both stiff as boards the entire evening. Instead, make the event relaxed and fun, and dress slightly above the atmosphere. So, if you take her to the downtown music scene, for example, wear a smooth blazer with a t-shirt, and some casual slacks. You set yourself apart from the crowd, and look a bitcooler than the rest of the t-shirts and jeans in your midst.
3) Don’t Wait for the Kiss. Most guys wait for the end of the evening to kiss her. In fact, most women expect this awkward moment. Instead, maybe an hour or so into the date, create an opportunity to kiss her. Structure a romantic moment like a stroll along the river, or a relaxing tea on a park bench. Then, slow everything down, gently tease her hair while you chat, and go for the kiss. She will be impressed with your spontaneity, and will feel grateful not to dread any uncomfortable moments at the end of the night. In fact, a kiss then will be automatic.
4) Bring Her into Your World. Most guys see a first date as time to”impress her” or “make her like me”. Blah! Instead, why not approach it as time to “show her who I am and what I am about” as well as an opportunity to “see if we connect”. Why should you have to impress her? In fact, your attempts at impressing her will likely make her uncomfortable. Social intelligence indicates that a first date is an “information gathering” session – no more, no less.
5) Breath Control. Usually guys have great breath as the date begins. But, as the date goes on, their mouths dry-up, which can lead to sour breath. On a first date, a kiss is unlikely at the very beginning, right? So, be sure your breath is solid throughout the night by both drinking plenty of water, and by bringing mints or another breath control device. Breath strips are great for example. At a point in the evening, excuse yourself and head to the men’s room. Check your grooming, but also be sure to drop a mint or two, so you are ready and able when the moment arrives…
6) Go Easy Hotshot. Don’t make the rookie mistake of acting like a horny teenager in the throes of puberty; stay cool. No groping allowed, period. Ease into physical contact and anything sexual by setting the stage for it. Once she responds positively to your subtle advances and gives you a window of opportunity, make your move. Nothing too fast, too soon. She must trust you and be comfortable with you first before anything can happen. It’s your job to get this done.
7) Be Prepared. Have cash for cabs and a back-up plan in case the place you go to doesn’t work out for any reason (closed, booked, boring). The back-up could be what your friends are doing that night. Find out from them before you head out. Also, have your place clean and bed made if you decide to invite her over to “watch a movie.” Oh, and have a movie, and some protection (read: CONDOM) nearby…just in case.
That’s it guys. Use these tried and true tips, and watch your first date lead to a second one in a flash. Remember, this is not your chance to impress her, but rather your opportunity to express yourself honestly and powerfully. If you have no clue how to do that, you are going to want to click here and check out my ebook pronto. Seriously, it is THE essential primer for giving guys the maximum edge in dating, and in life.
If you enjoyed these articles I would recommend picking up a copy of his book How to Get a Girlfriend. He goes much further into these concepts… and of course gives away many secrets he’s been holding out on in the free articles.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.